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#121 of 515 Old 08-30-2009, 10:20 PM
 
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Welcome Elizabeth2008 & Elowyn!!
Forgive my brevity there. I'm a wee bit fried...
AF came a knockin on the door bright and early this morn I stayed the weekend at my best friend's house. She started this morn too and when I knew for sure I was doing more than just spotting I said to her, well I get to join your period party... Of course she was sweet and supportive and then said you can cry later you've got less than 2 weeks to make arrangements w/a new donor!!
Last time there was only one donor in my state and he never responded to my messages so I looked for and found a donor in Oregon, which was great cuz I was planning a trip up there to see my family anyway. But this new cycle I have to work around my teaching schedule so I have to find someone much closer than 2 states away!
So I've sent messages to a few new people and hopefully I'll hear back from someone awesome that's really close by!!
Thanks again for all your support thru that 2ww everybody!

Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 
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#122 of 515 Old 08-31-2009, 07:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry Chelsie! That sounds a bit tough with the donor situation - I hope it all works put for you. Maybe this sounds stupid, but have you thought about asking around in your tribal area here on MDC to see if anyone can help you?

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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#123 of 515 Old 08-31-2009, 12:02 PM
 
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Thanks Mittens! No, it doesn't sound stupid at all to ask around my tribal area, considering the site I'm using to find donors in the first place lol When people hear I'm looking for donors online and that I'm not going thru a sperm bank the first thing that comes to mind for them is CraigsList

So thanks for the idea! I might just do that!

I was thinkin the other day since this thread is starting to get long that we could start a new one w/a roll call at the top and the title w/an exclamation point instead of a question mark since we know we're here now and our ranks are growing What do ya think?

So what's everybody else up to these days?

Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 
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#124 of 515 Old 08-31-2009, 12:29 PM
 
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hello mamas! wanted to add that I am finally prego! This time a single mama by choice! my little bean is due 5/4/10!


BFPChart2.gif

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#125 of 515 Old 08-31-2009, 12:33 PM
 
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Welcome and Congrats Organicpapayamama! Yippee!!! :

Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 
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#126 of 515 Old 08-31-2009, 02:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hello mamas! wanted to add that I am finally prego! This time a single mama by choice! my little bean is due 5/4/10!
: : :

Yay! Congratulations!

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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#127 of 515 Old 08-31-2009, 04:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Mittens! No, it doesn't sound stupid at all to ask around my tribal area, considering the site I'm using to find donors in the first place lol When people hear I'm looking for donors online and that I'm not going thru a sperm bank the first thing that comes to mind for them is CraigsList

So thanks for the idea! I might just do that!

I was thinkin the other day since this thread is starting to get long that we could start a new one w/a roll call at the top and the title w/an exclamation point instead of a question mark since we know we're here now and our ranks are growing What do ya think?

So what's everybody else up to these days?
Some threads are 100 pages long, I am sure we can continue this one for a bit! I'll edit the topic title and the OP to put a roll call in - OK? Shall we just have names, or a little info about all of us too?

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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#128 of 515 Old 08-31-2009, 05:54 PM
 
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Prescottchels--I'm really sorry that baby dust wasn't quite sticky enough this time round, but very glad to hear you're looking to the next round immediately -- wonderful.

Welcome and CONGRATULATIONS to OrganicPapayaMama -- just fantastic!

Sara

Single mama (mom by choice) to bouncy toddler, Milo (b. 7/24/08); we're an extended-nursing, bedsharing, and delayed vaxing family
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#129 of 515 Old 08-31-2009, 09:45 PM
 
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Another SMC joining! So happy to find this thread! My older son is from a KD and my younger from ADI - people usually think they are full brothers though. They both look mostly like me.

I love being a single mom! It works so well for us and I agree with those who said earlier that it can make AP easier - no one complaining about cosleeping or ENing or delaying vax or whatnot...

Jessica, single mother by choice to Alexander (8) and Ian (6)
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#130 of 515 Old 09-01-2009, 10:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Another SMC joining! So happy to find this thread! My older son is from a KD and my younger from ADI - people usually think they are full brothers though. They both look mostly like me.

I love being a single mom! It works so well for us and I agree with those who said earlier that it can make AP easier - no one complaining about cosleeping or ENing or delaying vax or whatnot...
Welcome!

It is great your kids look like you. Mine look totally different than me . They are totally blond, blue eyes and I am, well, dark. Oh, and being solo totally makes AP easier - our kids don't need to compete with a man (or woman) for attention! (But what is ENing? I am so bad with abbreviations, apparently )

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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#131 of 515 Old 09-01-2009, 01:10 PM
 
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ENing = Extended Nursing.

Oh yeah, that is one bit where they don't look like me! They both have the bluest eyes you have ever seen and mine are dark as can be. Weird!

Jessica, single mother by choice to Alexander (8) and Ian (6)
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#132 of 515 Old 09-09-2009, 03:32 PM
 
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Welcome to all the new members! It's nice to see our ranks growing!

Chelsie, I'm sorry your first time didn't take but I'm glad you're getting back on the saddle, so to speak. I'm also happy for all the support you have. I'm sure that help with this phase of your journey.

Sara, when I was doing a Google search on sperm banks, the At Home website came up. I think it is awesome that they will come to your house!!

I'm getting closer to my January TTC date. I've just started taking a vitamin supplement with vitex and it is making me feel awesome. My sister said she'd give me all the baby clothes I need so that's one thing I can check off my list. And I'm reading The Vaccination Book by one of the Sears doctors. Oh yeah, I'm a huge TV watcher so I'm glad the Fall season has begun! LOL.

What's going on with everyone else?

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#133 of 515 Old 09-09-2009, 03:59 PM
 
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I posted a separate thread about a new study relevant to solo moms (actually it's negative for joint-custody moms - but positive for us). Please check it out. It put a big smile on my face.

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#134 of 515 Old 09-12-2009, 09:44 PM
 
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Hi Everyone,
I'm new...just read this thread and it gave me hope and a lot of fear at the same time.

I'm a 37 yr old single woman thinking about ttc in Jan/Feb and I'm scared to death of trying due to the fact I have no money saved, my income goes to my mortgage, utilities, and repayment on my almost $80,000 of student loans.
I have my Master's but getting a job is hard right now...no one wants to pay, even with an advanced degree.

I took my current job last year while working on my Masters and I currently make $35,000...enough yes, but not when you have so much to pay each month in bills, bills bills.

I'm already having issues with my cycle and have been told I can't have kids...I was diagnosed with PCOS, told I wasn't ovulating, am on a blood thinner for repeated DVT's and a PE...and I had WLS in March 2008.

My AF is getting lighter and lighter after being regular for 3 1/2 yrs...and it's concerning to me. So I will be seeing an RE this Tuesday about checking if I'm indeed not ovulating as I was told 3 yrs ago, and what I can do to get started with TTC.

I don't want to struggle financially, but if I don't do this now...I may NEVER have a chance to have my own biologically child. I want a better paying job, but how can I get one when hiring freezes are occurring EVERYWHERE in this economy? I can't afford to lose any health or life insurance since my WLS is an issue....

I would get a part time job...but they are hard to come by as well since people are not really hiring. I just can't live another day without becoming a mother and my major concern is my financial picture in not doing this...

I went to college to make better money...I feel it was a waste of my time. I'm sad because I don't know what to do....if I do nothing, I will never be a mother...if I do something I may become a mother and not be able to make it on my own....or

I'm being paranoid about all of this and things will turn out PERFECTLY...my family is more excited about me going the DI route and having a baby than I am at this point It's funny how they keep asking me about my doctors appts, etc...They are very supportive and I know I can lean on them...but..

Ok, I'm a minister...I know God hasn't brought me this far to leave me now...I trust him and as long as I'm faithful to him I know he will provide. I need to stop reading stuff on line...it's beginning to make me second guess myself when God is opening so many doors for me health wise and has given me peace about my decision.
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#135 of 515 Old 09-12-2009, 11:52 PM
 
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It will never be the *perfect* time to have a baby - there will never be quite enough money or space in the house, etc... so you are doing exactly right to choose to try at the *right* time for you! You will find a way to fold your life around the baby and make it work.

Jessica, single mother by choice to Alexander (8) and Ian (6)
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#136 of 515 Old 09-13-2009, 09:49 AM
 
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Welcome to all the new members! It's nice to see our ranks growing!

Chelsie, I'm sorry your first time didn't take but I'm glad you're getting back on the saddle, so to speak. I'm also happy for all the support you have. I'm sure that help with this phase of your journey.

Sara, when I was doing a Google search on sperm banks, the At Home website came up. I think it is awesome that they will come to your house!!

I'm getting closer to my January TTC date. I've just started taking a vitamin supplement with vitex and it is making me feel awesome. My sister said she'd give me all the baby clothes I need so that's one thing I can check off my list. And I'm reading The Vaccination Book by one of the Sears doctors. Oh yeah, I'm a huge TV watcher so I'm glad the Fall season has begun! LOL.

What's going on with everyone else?
I too plan on ttc to conceive in January or February if I can get enough money to buy the vials. I might have to wait until my taxes are done...but I don't want to do that....I will try and save if I can...but I will be 38 in June and I don't think my body or my heart can wait to ttc. I will be seeing an RE Tuesday about my lack of a period that I had twice in August. Funny, I've been regular for over 3 years and for some strange reason I got it within two weeks of each other in August. Could be that I started working out again, being stressed about money and this decision. That is what I chalked it up to. But we shall see.

I pray that both of us get's great news in January/February. I'm going to try and make my decision about my donor after my appt on Tuesday. I might buy one or two vials next month and then a final one or two in December if I can come up with some extra money.

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It will never be the *perfect* time to have a baby - there will never be quite enough money or space in the house, etc... so you are doing exactly right to choose to try at the *right* time for you! You will find a way to fold your life around the baby and make it work.
You are correct...there will NEVER be a PERFECT time...Why put off till tomorrow what you can do today is so apropos in this situation. I live in a two bedroom condo. that I own...my mortgage payments are low, but paying those association fees SUCK big time. I wish I would have brought a regular house...with my credit being jacked up after not having a job for 45 days and then my medical bills not being paid...I could never get a house at the interest rate I'm paying. But my home is big enough for two of us at this point.

And thank you for the vote of confidence. I believe this is the right time...I will be seeing an RE on Tuesday to make sure I'm ovulating NOW (since I was told I wasn't by my doctor's nurse 3 yrs ago) and getting my cycle on track before I ttc in January/February. I'm scared spitless about doing this...but I'm excited that my hematologist, PCP, WLS surgeon are giving their ok about this. My OB tried to scare me and tell me I could never have children due to my clotting issues and being on Coumadin. The hematologist I saw Friday doesn't agree, wants to take me off Coumadin after seeing my testing from last year, and stated that if I had to stay on a blood thinner after his testing and looking at the testing I had done already, he will start me on heparin shots....He made me feel like my OB was a quack...so once I see the RE, I will definitely call my OB who happens to be a close and dear friend of my family...I can't wait to prove her wrong. She wouldn't even refer me to an RE...I had to get my PCP's office to just send the referral.

I can do this. Many on here and people I know personally have made it. My mom was making I think the same exact salary as me growing up...and she raised 4 of us....others have done it, why can't I? I guess cause I'm spoiled all of my life, and have gotten what I wanted...and as an adult I brought what I wanted when I wanted and not thought about bills.
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#137 of 515 Old 09-13-2009, 02:49 PM
 
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Hi Everyone,
I'm new...just read this thread and it gave me hope and a lot of fear at the same time.

My apologies if my post is a bit disjointed. I typed it on my phone over the past couple of hours...

Hi and welcome to the forum . It sounds like you have a lot going on and a lot to think about. While I can't give you advice on everything, I can share my experience and maybe you can take something from it. I got bit by the baby bug about 8 years ago. I had a great job with lots of room for advances and raises, I was about to pay off my car, and I had a comfortable savings. I TTC'd for a total of about 5 cycles and then gave up. I talked myself out of TTC because I got scared. I thought about how I would afford daycare, Montessori school, glasses, braces, sports equipment, college... Some people call it paralysis by analysis.

So since then I've been laid off, blown through my savings, and I'm borrowing a friend's car. And you know what, I'm going to TTC in January anyway. It's what's right for me. In January of this year I decided this was going to be the year to make a decision about having a child. Either I was going to definitely do this or I was going to be child-free. I lived with each decision for a few days. When I made the decision to not have kids, I felt hollow and sad and like I wasn't fulfilling my soul's purpose. When I lived with the decision to become a mom I felt s bit anxious but also overjoyed and whole.

Money will come and go, jobs will cone and go, but becoming a parent is priceless. Gosh, I really didn't mean to sound like a credit card commercial! I truly know deep deep down in the quietness of my soul that I was meant to be a mom. I have prayed and meditated on it and I feel that god/the universe would not put such a dream in my heart without providing a way for me to fulfill it. In my experience, it seems the more I "get out of the way" and trust god, the more things go the way I need them to.

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10/12 - Orientation

10/12 - Accepted into Foster Family Agency

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#138 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 11:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey mamas,

I am curious to hear what you say to random people who ask about your life choices? How much info do you give them, especially in front of your children? Like this convo I had with the check-out girl at the supermarket -

Girl: so where is your husband?
Me: I don't have one of those.
Girl: You're divorced then?
Me: No


I mean, it is none of their business but I don't want to make my kids feel awkward, yk? Even more so since I live in a country where "empowered woman" is seen as a contradiction in terms

Oh, and I wanted to share that I think I have my job back from next month. Haven't signed the contract yet but looks promising!

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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#139 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 11:26 AM
 
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Hey mamas,

I am curious to hear what you say to random people who ask about your life choices? How much info do you give them, especially in front of your children? Like this convo I had with the check-out girl at the supermarket -

Girl: so where is your husband?
Me: I don't have one of those.
Girl: You're divorced then?
Me: No


I mean, it is none of their business but I don't want to make my kids feel awkward, yk? Even more so since I live in a country where "empowered woman" is seen as a contradiction in terms

Oh, and I wanted to share that I think I have my job back from next month. Haven't signed the contract yet but looks promising!
Ok, so why was the checkout girl asking after your husband in the first place?? Wierd.

I've been thinking more about what to tell my son if I decide to give him a sibling. He'd have a father in his life, but the sibling wouldn't.
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#140 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 11:27 AM
 
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Hey mamas,

I am curious to hear what you say to random people who ask about your life choices? How much info do you give them, especially in front of your children? Like this convo I had with the check-out girl at the supermarket -

Girl: so where is your husband?
Me: I don't have one of those.
Girl: You're divorced then?
Me: No
I get asked about that too, also "where's her father" or some such. ESPECIALLY when dd is in earshot, I say "why would I want a husband? We have a great, two-person family." HTH!

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#141 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 11:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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They are just nosey like that around here . I have to say that so far, dd has not noticed or at least not commented, that there is a wide variety of possibilities when it comes to family make ups, or she just accepts this in a matter of fact way. Of course, they will ask questions at some point and when that point comes, they will get the answers.

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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#142 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 11:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post
Hey mamas,

I am curious to hear what you say to random people who ask about your life choices? How much info do you give them, especially in front of your children? Like this convo I had with the check-out girl at the supermarket -

Girl: so where is your husband?
Me: I don't have one of those.
Girl: You're divorced then?
Me: No


I mean, it is none of their business but I don't want to make my kids feel awkward, yk? Even more so since I live in a country where "empowered woman" is seen as a contradiction in terms

Oh, and I wanted to share that I think I have my job back from next month. Haven't signed the contract yet but looks promising!
because I can be rude sometimes...I would/will say...does anyone ask you Where is your husband? THAN DON'T ASK ME??????

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#143 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 11:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post
Hey mamas,

I am curious to hear what you say to random people who ask about your life choices? How much info do you give them, especially in front of your children? Like this convo I had with the check-out girl at the supermarket -

Girl: so where is your husband?
Me: I don't have one of those.
Girl: You're divorced then?
Me: No


I mean, it is none of their business but I don't want to make my kids feel awkward, yk? Even more so since I live in a country where "empowered woman" is seen as a contradiction in terms

Oh, and I wanted to share that I think I have my job back from next month. Haven't signed the contract yet but looks promising!
I usually get a confused look like there crazy and ask why would I want a husband? like its a really weird choice or something of couse sometimes I just say "I don't have one" and smile at which point they say "I'm sorry" and I happily tell them "Why?! I'm not!" and go on my way leaving them going

Good luck on the job!

Seriously?
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#144 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 11:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The other version is - your kids must look just like your husband, because they look NOTHING like you.

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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#145 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 11:58 AM
 
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Hi all. I'm not new to MDC but I only just discovered this thread today (and I don't have time to read 7 pages of backlog so be patient with me)!

So I'll tell you all a little bit about myself. I became a SMBC over 3 years ago when I had my daughter via anonymous donor insemination (I was 28). It took 7 IUIs, lots of Clomid, metformin, and over a year of TTC to get pregnant. It was a hard road, but totally worth it. And I have never made a better decision! My daughter is my world right now, and I'd never have it any other way!

I have a masters degree, have always been underemployed. Never wanted a husband. People always told me to wait to have children when I could afford them, and if I did that I'd be approaching retirement and I didn't want to wait that long. We have no money, but we have each other. I make sure she has everything she needs. No regrets.

My family has been extremely supportive, except my brother (who told me "you don't seem to understand that children are expensive and a father would provide for them" blah blah blah), who's since come around. Even my extremely conservative grandma was thrilled. I was bracing myself for her reaction after I told her I was pregnant and how, and was floored when she said "See?! You don't need a man!"

Good luck everyone. Nice to see this thread.

Perpetually exhausted single mother by choice to one little girl (2/06)
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#146 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 12:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi & welcome!!

I hear you on the underemployed front, unfortunately.

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Originally Posted by mrsfussypants View Post
Hi all. I'm not new to MDC but I only just discovered this thread today (and I don't have time to read 7 pages of backlog so be patient with me)!

So I'll tell you all a little bit about myself. I became a SMBC over 3 years ago when I had my daughter via anonymous donor insemination (I was 28). It took 7 IUIs, lots of Clomid, metformin, and over a year of TTC to get pregnant. It was a hard road, but totally worth it. And I have never made a better decision! My daughter is my world right now, and I'd never have it any other way!

I have a masters degree, have always been underemployed. Never wanted a husband. People always told me to wait to have children when I could afford them, and if I did that I'd be approaching retirement and I didn't want to wait that long. We have no money, but we have each other. I make sure she has everything she needs. No regrets.

My family has been extremely supportive, except my brother (who told me "you don't seem to understand that children are expensive and a father would provide for them" blah blah blah), who's since come around. Even my extremely conservative grandma was thrilled. I was bracing myself for her reaction after I told her I was pregnant and how, and was floored when she said "See?! You don't need a man!"

Good luck everyone. Nice to see this thread.

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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#147 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 12:32 PM
 
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Anyone ever wonder why we chose this path? I am rather adament about never getting married and I was just sitting here this morning thinking "man, I just have had some seriously bad marriages in my past lives to the point I decided I would NEVER get married again!!!" and its stuck into this life.

I mean really, even as a small child I dreamed of the house, the picket fence, 2 kids but NEVER EVER was there a husband in the picture

ah well, I need to hit the shower, its 8:30am, I'm still in my Pj's, got one kid off to daycare, need to get the other one up and off to grandma's and I have a 9:30am appt across town, yeah, I'm seriously running it close this morning. Just to dang tired to move! 5 hours of broken sleep was not enough!

Seriously?
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#148 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 01:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satori View Post
Anyone ever wonder why we chose this path? I am rather adament about never getting married and I was just sitting here this morning thinking "man, I just have had some seriously bad marriages in my past lives to the point I decided I would NEVER get married again!!!" and its stuck into this life.

I mean really, even as a small child I dreamed of the house, the picket fence, 2 kids but NEVER EVER was there a husband in the picture
That's pretty funny - me too! I dreamed of having a log cabin in the woods - by myself. And a lot of cats. (Wantinga child came much later.)

I had a good, although brief, marriage. And I've lived with men. All that was pre-parenthood. And for me, just IME, a relationship/family with just one other person is very fulfilling but takes exactly as much energy as I have for love-relationships. I wouldn't want to have both partner and kids in my family at the same time, same as I wouldn't want to be polyamorous*; there would be too much compromise (time, energy, lifestyle) and crossed emotions. I love best, one at a time.

*(not saying polyamory is a choice vs. biological imperative. I am utterly ignorant as to the issue...)

The only thing you owe to others is to behave with integrity.
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#149 of 515 Old 09-22-2009, 01:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Me too! I did co-habit with a man before becoming a parent, and while I learnt a lot of things for the experience, the most valuable lesson was that that I don't enjoy co-habiting or being in a relationship. I feel my kids are privileged they don't have to compete with a man for their mother's time, love and attention.

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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#150 of 515 Old 09-24-2009, 06:30 PM
 
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Hi ladies! Quick question before I head home. I keep thinking that I've decided that I won't pursue a solo pregnancy. But then it creeps back in. :P Sooooo here's one more question...I have some fertility benefits through my current job. Would I need to be diagnosed with a fertility issue to take advantage of them?

Purely hypothetical of course! :P
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