Single mother of 5?!!!! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 01:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
ecstaticmama24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: crazytown
Posts: 758
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
I'm really stuck here.

I'm actually not a mama of 5 yet, we just found out we're expecting.

My story is complicated, but I was a single mama of 2 once before I decided to be with my current partner. 2 kids and one bump later and I'm miserable. But is has been a long time of miserable-ness. I had the whole house packed up last December and then decided to stay after some family intervention, but the urge to leave is back again. I really don't know what to do, I am so miserable with him that I just wish I could disappear. But with 4 + 1 on the way, how can I do it?

It's a hostile environment right now with us barely talking, him lying to me, and he's drinking/doing drugs. (that may not seem too bad, but he's a recovering addict who has started again)

Anyways, any advice is appreciated.... thanks.

Andi - roller derby, slave to the hoop, birth junkie, lover of love, single mama of 4
ecstaticmama24 is offline  
#2 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 02:03 AM
 
btbarbara's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 84
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've only got two but I'm friends with two single moms that have 4.

http://singlemommindy.blogspot.com/ is one of my bloggy friends. She had 3 kids by her ex-husband and then they divorced. She was in a long-term relationship with a guy and got pregnant. He wigged out and told her she had to have an abortion so she left him and never looked back. So now she's got 4 on her own.

http://mycellcalledlife.blogspot.com/ is another bloggy buddy. I don't know her background but she's got 4 kids (one with special needs) on her own.

Also, http://www.carolyngable.com/carolyn-gable-family.php is an online friend who is/was a single mom to NINE kids.

It's not easy, but you have to do what's right for your family. If the situation you're in is not healthy, then you know what you have to do. Good luck...
btbarbara is offline  
#3 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 03:53 AM
 
LoveOhm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In Writing Mode!
Posts: 1,953
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
There are a few moms on this board with 4 and kids so hopefully they will reach out and offer insight from their experience.

My initial thought though is to say don't just to throw in the towel when you are simply feeling unhappy I personally think that is one reason the divorce rate is so high but to really spend some time asking yourself why you loved him in the first place? Is that still there, if it's hidden what needs to be done to bring it back? Have you fought to make it work? Is it worth fighting for, is he willing to fight for it?

If you really have already made up your mind that leaving is best for you then I think you need to think from a practical stance, how will you support your family, where will you live and line those items up in advance, if at all possible. They say start a new business while you "stay" at your current job.... I think since you would be the one leaving and you are the one with the strained feeling you have the upper hand in laying some ground work before you leave.

Best of luck to you and your kiddos!

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
LoveOhm is offline  
#4 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 10:14 AM
 
sugarmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,389
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've got a pile of kids

If your situation is anything like mine, you're already doing all the kid-care, household management, bill-paying etc on your own anyway.

If you have to return to work, look into daycare subsidies. Don't be shy about applying for assistance, food stamps etc.

Do some research now, about what programs are available in your area and what you willl qualify for.

You can do it, mama
sugarmoon is offline  
#5 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 03:32 PM
 
princesstutu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: the bay area, baby!
Posts: 1,771
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have four kids.

I found it much easier to be a single mother of four kids than a wife of an asshole.

Yes, yes.  I'm fabulous. loveeyes.gif  Moving on...

princesstutu is offline  
#6 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 03:46 PM
 
sugarmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,389
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by princesstutu View Post
I have four kids.

I found it much easier to be a single mother of four kids than a wife of an asshole.
:
sugarmoon is offline  
#7 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 06:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
ecstaticmama24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: crazytown
Posts: 758
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
I agree completely!!!! When I'm on my own everything is in line, the kids are fed, bathed and in bed on time! And I have some sanity left at the end of the day.



Quote:
Originally Posted by princesstutu View Post
I have four kids.

I found it much easier to be a single mother of four kids than a wife of an asshole.

Andi - roller derby, slave to the hoop, birth junkie, lover of love, single mama of 4
ecstaticmama24 is offline  
#8 of 8 Old 06-23-2009, 12:41 PM
 
BabyBearsMummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Congratulations!!!

Sending you a PM.
BabyBearsMummy is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off