Single mother of 5?!!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 02:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm really stuck here.

I'm actually not a mama of 5 yet, we just found out we're expecting.

My story is complicated, but I was a single mama of 2 once before I decided to be with my current partner. 2 kids and one bump later and I'm miserable. But is has been a long time of miserable-ness. I had the whole house packed up last December and then decided to stay after some family intervention, but the urge to leave is back again. I really don't know what to do, I am so miserable with him that I just wish I could disappear. But with 4 + 1 on the way, how can I do it?

It's a hostile environment right now with us barely talking, him lying to me, and he's drinking/doing drugs. (that may not seem too bad, but he's a recovering addict who has started again)

Anyways, any advice is appreciated.... thanks.

Andi - roller derby, slave to the hoop, birth junkie, lover of love, single mama of 4
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#2 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 03:03 AM
 
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I've only got two but I'm friends with two single moms that have 4.

http://singlemommindy.blogspot.com/ is one of my bloggy friends. She had 3 kids by her ex-husband and then they divorced. She was in a long-term relationship with a guy and got pregnant. He wigged out and told her she had to have an abortion so she left him and never looked back. So now she's got 4 on her own.

http://mycellcalledlife.blogspot.com/ is another bloggy buddy. I don't know her background but she's got 4 kids (one with special needs) on her own.

Also, http://www.carolyngable.com/carolyn-gable-family.php is an online friend who is/was a single mom to NINE kids.

It's not easy, but you have to do what's right for your family. If the situation you're in is not healthy, then you know what you have to do. Good luck...
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#3 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 04:53 AM
 
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There are a few moms on this board with 4 and kids so hopefully they will reach out and offer insight from their experience.

My initial thought though is to say don't just to throw in the towel when you are simply feeling unhappy I personally think that is one reason the divorce rate is so high but to really spend some time asking yourself why you loved him in the first place? Is that still there, if it's hidden what needs to be done to bring it back? Have you fought to make it work? Is it worth fighting for, is he willing to fight for it?

If you really have already made up your mind that leaving is best for you then I think you need to think from a practical stance, how will you support your family, where will you live and line those items up in advance, if at all possible. They say start a new business while you "stay" at your current job.... I think since you would be the one leaving and you are the one with the strained feeling you have the upper hand in laying some ground work before you leave.

Best of luck to you and your kiddos!

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
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#4 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 11:14 AM
 
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I've got a pile of kids

If your situation is anything like mine, you're already doing all the kid-care, household management, bill-paying etc on your own anyway.

If you have to return to work, look into daycare subsidies. Don't be shy about applying for assistance, food stamps etc.

Do some research now, about what programs are available in your area and what you willl qualify for.

You can do it, mama
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#5 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 04:32 PM
 
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I have four kids.

I found it much easier to be a single mother of four kids than a wife of an asshole.

Yes, yes.  I'm fabulous. loveeyes.gif  Moving on...

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#6 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 04:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by princesstutu View Post
I have four kids.

I found it much easier to be a single mother of four kids than a wife of an asshole.
:
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#7 of 8 Old 06-22-2009, 07:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I agree completely!!!! When I'm on my own everything is in line, the kids are fed, bathed and in bed on time! And I have some sanity left at the end of the day.



Quote:
Originally Posted by princesstutu View Post
I have four kids.

I found it much easier to be a single mother of four kids than a wife of an asshole.

Andi - roller derby, slave to the hoop, birth junkie, lover of love, single mama of 4
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#8 of 8 Old 06-23-2009, 01:41 PM
 
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Congratulations!!!

Sending you a PM.
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