July Dating Thread: Looking for Fireworks!! - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-01-2009, 05:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was hoping I would get to start the July thread, and put something about fireworks in the title.

God, my life is lame, that I had thought about that ahead of time!

I'm still exchaning emails with Localguy, who I went on a hike/walk in the park with a few weeks ago, and with the Russian. Can't remember if I updated that saga...he said something that hit my 'ick' button, and I shut it down for a while, but he apologized and came back with some intelligent questions, the kind of converstaion that gets me thinking, so I've told him I'm up for a lengthy email exhange period, and then we'll see.

Socrates is out, never wrote back to me.

I'm working on figuring a reasonable way to meet more people, and potential men, in real life.
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Old 07-01-2009, 06:47 PM
 
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I'm going on a second day with YogaGuy tomorrow night. My roomies agreed to keep an ear out for my little ones after I put them down to bed, so it will be a later dinner. We both love Indian food, so we are going to a local Indian restaurant. I'm looking forward to it. Now, I just have to remember that guys try to kiss you at the end of the date and to not ruin it by forgetting and giving a hug...which turns into an awkward mess
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Old 07-01-2009, 09:43 PM
 
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I'm working on figuring a reasonable way to meet more people, and potential men, in real life.
Forget socrates. Go hang out with localguy.

And please let me know when you figure out a great way to meet people in real life.
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Old 07-01-2009, 11:02 PM
 
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I have fireworks to share! :

My best friend from the Marine Corps and I just found each other again through FB; he's coming to see me in September. We have been talking on the phone for literally HOURS at a time; we were on the phone until 3AM this morning! We have discussed EVERYTHING and things are turning to a romantic nature; he's the guy I probably should have married if we both weren't so young when we met.

It's crazy and irrational and too fast but we've already discussed marriage and more children and everything. He's wicked smart and a computer geek, which is of course so hot to me. He knows about DS and is cool with being a step-dad; he's great with kids.

Anyway, we're trying not to take things too fast but we're both so excited just to be talking to one another again and I wanted to share it with my Internet Peeps! I'm terrified and exhilarated and scared and giddy and...well, you get the idea! The butterflies have been flapping away today. :

Minxie
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Old 07-01-2009, 11:43 PM
 
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I'm a dating loser. And it's getting very old. I just have no exposure to single men anywhere near my age/stage. Online, not much luck. I'm finding a lot of men who don't want women with children.

Sigh.
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:08 AM
 
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i'm still figuring out the ins and outs of online dating. so far i've had four duds and feel pretty lame about it. this week i've got some activities lined up with the potential to meet really great guys, so that should be better. irl is simpler than online, it seems.

anyways, wanna help me fix up my pof profile? this is what i've written:

Quote:
i do yoga while listening to the beastie boys.
i'm infatuated with summer.
i like walking around looking at houses and trees or going out for some live music.
a good pad thai makes my knees weak.
i read, garden, take pictures, and go drink really good coffee/ wine/ whatever.
i'm somewhat of a hippy, somewhat of a punk, leftwards leaning, lightheartedly feminist and not religious at all. sound good?
i'm a single parent, half-time, but i'm not looking for a daddy for my kids. they have a perfectly good dad.
affection and connection without drama appeals to me.
if you're secure, funny, friendly and smart, drop me a line. if you can make me laugh you'll get a response. if you make me think you'll get a response. if you do both you'll get my number.
if you like xkcd, you might like me. if you type 'lol' or in all caps i probably won't like you.
help a mama out, won't you?
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Old 07-02-2009, 01:39 AM
 
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i'm still figuring out the ins and outs of online dating. so far i've had four duds and feel pretty lame about it. this week i've got some activities lined up with the potential to meet really great guys, so that should be better. irl is simpler than online, it seems.

anyways, wanna help me fix up my pof profile? this is what i've written:



help a mama out, won't you?
I LOVE your profile. I'd write you Its much better than my lame, uncreative one.
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Old 07-02-2009, 01:49 AM
 
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i didn't even realize it was july today. shows how in touch with the real world i am.

i have now officially gone the longest without dancing that i've ever gone, since the first time i danced. i go between total ambivalence and frustration at this fact. i do know that if i wanted to dance, i could def dance. i'm so much more picky about partners now that i have dd, which is awesome!

the more i think about it, the more i realize that i don't want to do the online thing. i would much prefer to meet real humans doing real activities. so i go do things that i like to do in the hopes that eventually someone worth my time will notice me loving to do something that they also love to do, and want to know me. i think that's the extent of the effort that i'm willing to expend at the moment. i just want someone fabulous to come and sweep me off my feet, and i don't want to have to do any of the work

so in the meantime, i'm continuing my status as lurker here and on fb, and hopefully some of the fantastic dating ju-ju that you ladies are throwing out there will rub off on me and make me want to get back out there! why should he have all the fun!!

: single mom extraordinaire, keeper of eew since 02/09
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Old 07-02-2009, 03:03 AM
 
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Josybear, I love your profile!

I'm toying with the idea of messaging a guy on OKCupid who's caught my interest. He's a bit older than I'd normally go for (42), and probably WAY out of my league, so it's hard for me to overcome my natural shyness. But I do so love a man with a big gun...(He's Army.)

I did go out tonight. All by myself. Rob has the girls tonight, so I went to PF Chang's. I don't have an issue with going out to dinner alone, but I sure did get a weird look from the hostess. I'm home now & listening to Cake, & I'm going to go check out that guy's profile again soon...

Sabra: Mama to Bobbie (3/02), Linda (1/04), Esther (10/05), Marie (11/10), & Douglas (11/12)

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Old 07-02-2009, 03:18 AM
 
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i took butterflymom's advice and messaged a couple of guys that caught my eye, in spite of my preference for letting the guys do the pursuing. i just came in the door and there's a very nice response from a goodlooking single dad. he seems much more mature than the guys i've interacted with so far. it doesn't really matter if this particular person turns into anything, i'm just feeling satisfied that contacting guys first is a good way to get the ball rolling.
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Old 07-02-2009, 04:26 AM
 
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I LOVE your profile. I'd write you Its much better than my lame, uncreative one.
:

My profile is pretty vague and I don't mention my dd but I do like how you approached it.

I will post my profile on the FB group tomorrow so you can see it....

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
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Old 07-02-2009, 07:30 AM
 
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i'm just feeling satisfied that contacting guys first is a good way to get the ball rolling.


I like the profile a lot.


Had drinks with Clark Kent last night, and am going out with him tonight. Don't know what. Don't know what's up with him. : I'm gonna wait and see what happens.
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Old 07-02-2009, 07:45 AM
 
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For online profiles my way to go about it was first to write a part about myself - not so much what I liked only but more about my type of person - something about being "personal and passionate" then a bit about how I envisioned a relationship - one where both are equals, a house with open doors and coffee ready and more kids eventually.

Then I went on to write about the guy I was looking for.

I made sure to be very specifik about myself so I wouldnt get the guys who werent interested in women with kids or a real relationship.

I then contacted potential men - most of them I didnt even hear from (probably because they weren't much into a woman with 3 kids) but a few wrote back. Some good responses. Some not so good. My BF though responded with a very short letter saying something like:

"I read through your profile and it made me laugh. You sure can write about yourself and your expectations. But I wont make it so easy for you. So one question. How many shoes do you have.
Yours sincerely XXX"

I thought that was really funny and we started writing back and forth but only for a week before meeting up. You know the story from there..

I dont know if its any help, but that's what worked for me..

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Old 07-02-2009, 08:13 AM
 
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He's a bit older than I'd normally go for (42), and probably WAY out of my league, so it's hard for me to overcome my natural shyness. ..
awesome that you went out alone. But why do you think this guy is out of your league??! Don't go into it with that attitude! Go into it with the 'I'm a hot younger lady that he'll be thrilled for a shot with." attitude.
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Old 07-02-2009, 09:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Josy, I love your profile. I want to date you.
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Old 07-02-2009, 10:19 AM
 
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Josy, I love your profile. I want to date you.
: I know, right?!!! : Yay for Josy!
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Old 07-02-2009, 10:22 AM
 
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xkcd? what does it mean?
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Old 07-02-2009, 11:26 AM
 
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Congrats to all the momma having wonderful dates, hugs to those that went out with losers and are waiting on the right one.

No dates on my end. Exciting, huh? LOL Not sure if and when I'll ever be asked on one but we'll see.

Book loverread.gif - Sewer sewmachine.gif - Movie lover lurk.gif - Mommy to a wonderful little boy (8/4/08) biggrinbounce.gif - Aspiring writer notes.gif - On a mission to lose 15 pounds - all-around cool chick hippie.gif

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:13 PM
 
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i'd date you all.

xkcd is a webcomic. it's geeky, funny and sarcastic. http://xkcd.com/592/

this evening i go to the orientation for my volunteering thing. i'm serving in the beer tent for a theatre festival. i go to this festival every year because the best looking guys show up in hordes, and now i get to serve them beer and work on my flirting. hopefully there are some gems among the volunteers tonight.

tomorrow i'm going out to a farm with a local food/agriculture co-op. it's something i'm passionate about. at the community dinner for the co-op i went to last there was a guy looking at me that had definite possibilities. i had to leave early, my kids were being insane, but hopefully i can spend the day with him or someone like him tomorrow...

i love summer. i especially love summer without ex. :
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Old 07-02-2009, 02:11 PM
 
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awesome that you went out alone. But why do you think this guy is out of your league??! Don't go into it with that attitude! Go into it with the 'I'm a hot younger lady that he'll be thrilled for a shot with." attitude.
I am trying to look at it that way. I did finally message him last night, but I'm trying to be casual in my expectations (and realistically, he's deployed right now, so it'll be days before I hear anything back). It's just that I feel really bad about my personal economics right now, & I'm going to community college and messaging an officer (er, my ex was an E-5; barely qualifying as mid-grade enlisted) with a farking master's degree.

Sabra: Mama to Bobbie (3/02), Linda (1/04), Esther (10/05), Marie (11/10), & Douglas (11/12)

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Old 07-02-2009, 04:35 PM
 
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No dates on my end. Exciting, huh? LOL Not sure if and when I'll ever be asked on one but we'll see.

Have you browsed POF? OKCupid? Anything?



and Josy, I'd date you and all these other mamas in a sec, too.



So date tonight with Clark Kent got a snag. He texted and said, "Oh I forgot I was supposed to go see family tonight! I'll call you when I get back, unless it's too late."

I'm starting to think he's a..... person to pass on.
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Old 07-02-2009, 04:37 PM
 
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It's just that I feel really bad about my personal economics right now, & I'm going to community college and messaging an officer (er, my ex was an E-5; barely qualifying as mid-grade enlisted) with a farking master's degree.

stop being down on yourself. These things don't matter to men when it comes to a woman they'd like to get to know romantically. Pursue it with all the appropriate optimism and don't think that class or education level things will hamper you. You're enough without societal bragging rights.
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Old 07-02-2009, 05:25 PM
 
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Butterflymom: I am starting to think Clark Kent is a no go too. How cool would it be that when he finally gets back to you you simply reply that he passed his chance and wish him luck in his future dating life If you say something like that make sure to update us in detail about his response!

Sagesgirl: You are totally worth him! THe guy I dated before BF was a carpenter. He was really into clever university or carreer type girls, and whenever he told them his trade, they would just give him a top-down look and be on their way. But really that says more about them than it did him. How shallow is that? And would you want to date your guy if he was shallow enough to think it mattered. Hey - would he even have gone out with you if he thought it was importent?

Sorry I am pretty bad at keeping up with all the dating going on. I am reading though

Single mom to ds(8), dd(6) and ds(5)
 

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Old 07-02-2009, 09:35 PM
 
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Butterflymom: I am starting to think Clark Kent is a no go too. How cool would it be that when he finally gets back to you you simply reply that he passed his chance and wish him luck in his future dating life If you say something like that make sure to update us in detail about his response!
: Great idea. If I ever hear from him then I will do that. Sigh.


So tonight I got bold and went on Are You Interested and found a cutie and moved things over to MSN and he was so cute, and so tall, (and even wears glasses at work) and a computer science geek (I did smarty pants nerds), so I asked him for a drink. He got on a bus and came to town immediately to have a drink with me. We talked for 3 hours. Ok, he talked. He gets to be called Grinnin' Chattyman because the man can seriously talk. And that usually is ME who doesn't shut up, so if I'm saying this, then it means a LOT! He was so sweet. Just talked and talked to entertain me and when he smiled his whole face lit up in a warm and genuine way. He's very clever and down to earth, but really really really chatty. I enjoyed his company but he seems like such a sweet good guy.....tall, preppy, dark hair, clean cut.... I even got the mental comparison between he and Forrest Gump but of course this guy isn't that boyish/preppy.
He came home and messaged me on msn and said, "you're much prettier than in your pics." and continued to chat me up. I think he's excited about me but let's see..... I don't feel any mind boggling spark but I really like the dude's voice and smell ( we hugged hello and goodbye) and he's very good looking and everything-my-type, so..... I'm gonna see him again!


edited to add: he chatted me up on msn from work today and seems totally interested. I therefore added his mug shot to our FB group. Review and comment at your discretion, ladies. Tell me if you see the Forrest Gump comparison.
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Old 07-03-2009, 08:50 PM
 
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So, I had a late dinner with yoga guy last night (our 2nd date). Again, the conversation was great and it was fun hanging out with him. So, the date was ending and we kissed. But I felt NOTHING. I couldn't believe it and, although I've only kissed a few guys, I have never just felt nothing before. He wasn't a bad kisser at all, I think he was actually a good kisser, but as we stood there making out, I just wanted it to be over. And it seemed like it lasted forever...I kept trying to end it but then it didn't end.
So, he made it obvious that he's really into me and now I'm feeling like it isn't going to work. But I feel HORRIBLE about the thought of rejecting him. Especially because I always thought it was silly when people would say that they met a great guy but there was no chemistry. But, that's seemingly what happened.
Do I give it another date or break it off now?
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Old 07-03-2009, 09:22 PM
 
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Hi there...can I join your crew? I have been single for about 2 1/2 years now. I decided last november that maybe it was time to start developing a social life. I've made a couple of good friends out of the process but mostly have discovered that there are a whole lot of loser and crazies out there too. I don't know if any of you mamas have struggled with this, but I am vascilating back and forth between wanting someone in my life and being extremely happy with not having to deal with all the relationship BS that comes along with dating. I guess in my own perfect world, Mr Right would be happy with seeing me a few times a month, but wouldn't treat me like a booty call either. Bwahh haaaa! I think I'm sort of out of lcuh on that one. I had a profile on OKCupid for awhile and it worked out ok, but mostly I either had pervy guys who just wanted sex or guys that wanted to get married and have babies tomorrow, neither of which I am interested in. I just want to DATE....anyone with me here?

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Old 07-03-2009, 09:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I guess in my own perfect world, Mr Right would be happy with seeing me a few times a month, but wouldn't treat me like a booty call either. Bwahh haaaa! I think I'm sort of out of lcuh on that one. I had a profile on OKCupid for awhile and it worked out ok, but mostly I either had pervy guys who just wanted sex or guys that wanted to get married and have babies tomorrow, neither of which I am interested in. I just want to DATE....anyone with me here?
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!! I feel exactly the same way, and have had exactly the same experiences. Very frustrating.

Welcome to the dating thread, anyway!
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Old 07-03-2009, 09:49 PM
 
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OK, he did message me back. He seems really sweet. And I can indulge my desire to move very slowly, 'cause the Army has long deployments. (Nah, not the main reason I messaged him; he seems to have a good sense of humor.) I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that he has the same name as my xFIL (and father, for that matter). That's just weird, and reminds me of the 13-year age difference thing.

Quote:
And it seemed like it lasted forever...I kept trying to end it but then it didn't end.
Yeah, that would bug me even more than the lack of feeling thing. : I'd break it off now. If you feel nothing, imo it's not going to magically appear later on, but the longer you go the harder it'll be to end it. Two dates isn't a commitment at all.

Quote:
I just want to DATE....anyone with me here?
Yeah, I'm with you too. I don't want to close the door on anything, but I need to take care of my own house first, kwim? There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of middle ground between hooking up & marrying tomorrow in online dating.

Sabra: Mama to Bobbie (3/02), Linda (1/04), Esther (10/05), Marie (11/10), & Douglas (11/12)

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Old 07-04-2009, 08:27 AM
 
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He wasn't a bad kisser at all, I think he was actually a good kisser, but as we stood there making out, I just wanted it to be over. And it seemed like it lasted forever...I kept trying to end it but then it didn't end.

Well. You like him. He's cute enough. He's very into you. You guys have great conversations and a fun time. He's a good kisser. Ok, so you felt no fireworks the first time you kissed. Maybe on another date, on another day, with another vibe, it might spark stronger. It sounds like he's a really great contender, and you aren't just feeling nauseus when looking at him, you find him attractive, so.... if you aren't repelled by him in general, it's just developing a kissing raport that's taking some time to get spicy, ......then give it another date at least.


wychywoman, welcome! I totally agree about the flawed beast that is Online Dating. OD is easy to OD on, indeed.
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Old 07-04-2009, 10:58 AM
 
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I am vascilating back and forth between wanting someone in my life and being extremely happy with not having to deal with all the relationship BS that comes along with dating. I guess in my own perfect world, Mr Right would be happy with seeing me a few times a month, but wouldn't treat me like a booty call either. I just want to DATE....anyone with me here?
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

I actually went out on a great blind date last Friday night with a good friend of my good friend at work. We had a really good time - he brought me a bottle of wine AND paid for dinner. We've been talking/texting all week. So we'll see.
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