passport question (Canada) and also step-parent adoption question - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 07-14-2009, 01:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm applying for a passport for my son. He'll be going to visit my brother this year and he wants to head over from Nova Scotia to Maine for a day to visit someone. I have no problem with that but my son will need a passport.

The issue (or potential issue):
My son's father has never been involved in his life apart from one birthday gift, one Christmas gift, and approx. four short meetings (spread over about three months) the summer before he turned 3. He's 4.5 now and will be 5 in November. His father and I were only friends (obviously with benefits) and he walked out of my life the minute I told him I was pregnant. B was a very very oops baby.

B's father is not listed on the birth certificate or registration. I wouldn't have cared if it was on there but he didn't want it on and that was perfectly fine with me. I let him walk and chose to live my life with my son independent of him or any child support. I contacted Passport Canada to see what extra steps I would need to take to obtain a passport and was advised that I would have to provide the father's information. I am not overly willing to do this as his name is not on anything and he is not at all willing to be involved in his son's life. Do I really have to do it? Would I not then have to prove paternity? I don't want him on the birth certificate.

I have applied for and received a long-form birth registration which only lists my information and plan to send that as well as the birth certificate with the passport. Mamas of children born as a result of anonymous sperm donation, what do THEY do?

Unrelated to passport but in relation to adoption too... My boyfriend wants to adopt my son when we marry. Does anyone know what I will have to do for this? Again, will I have to get his father in the picture and then have him terminate his rights???

The pressing issue is the passport one but the other will be a future concern.

Peggy: full-time shift-working mama to Kiddo (Nov|04) and Babygirl (May|11). Fiancée to Babe. Step-mom to Tween, my bonus daughter (Sep|00). Currently TTC - http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3c1739

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#2 of 13 Old 07-14-2009, 08:50 PM
 
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If you don't want him on the birth certificate, don't.

It will mean that you have to get the passport for your child on your own. Then, once you have the passport, your ex will need a letter from you (just like any person other than you, his parent) that is notarized to take your child out of the country. Check online at Passport Canada to determine what forms/letter(s) are necessary for someone other than the parent to take the child out of the country and proceed from there.

It would be like grandparents taking a child out. They would need the child's passport and the letter/form from the parent. If your ex isn't listed as the father, then in the eyes of the border guards, he's just an adult taking him out of the country.
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#3 of 13 Old 07-14-2009, 09:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am getting the passport on my own. I list only myself in the parent/legal guardian spot as well. It's just that when I talked to someone at Passport Canada I was told that I needed to provide the father's information. The father has had no interest in his child since he was born. We have no court agreements or anything as he's never been in his life (apart from those 3 or 4 instances mentioned in the OP). His dad taking him out of the country will never be an issue (or option). I do plan to get a letter for my brother, who my son will be with for a couple of weeks in August, so HE can take him across the border (in the event that the passport does come through) and even if he doesn't, just to have since he will be flying from Toronto to Halifax with him and back again.

I'm just not sure how to get past the "we need the father's name/info" thing for the passport. Anyone could say "he's never been involved" but what proof is there as far as Passport Canada is concerned? I'm trying to get everything I need to send the application so it's hopefully not sent back to me to be re-sent again.

Peggy: full-time shift-working mama to Kiddo (Nov|04) and Babygirl (May|11). Fiancée to Babe. Step-mom to Tween, my bonus daughter (Sep|00). Currently TTC - http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3c1739

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#4 of 13 Old 07-15-2009, 01:12 AM
 
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If there is not father of record it SHOULDN'T be an issue I would try calling the passport office again and seeing if you get better information this time.
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#5 of 13 Old 07-15-2009, 10:57 AM
 
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If you mentioned the father, the agent may have been confused. If you keep stating that the father is not involved, not on the birth certificate, and have all the documents to show that, they cannot make him be on the passport form.

Are you planning to mail it in or go into an office to get it done? If you go into an office and explain it, if there's a problem, they'll let you know right away.
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#6 of 13 Old 07-15-2009, 10:58 AM
 
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As for the adoption, I would just check with a lawyer to find out what you'll need to know.
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#7 of 13 Old 07-15-2009, 12:14 PM
 
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I am a single mother in Nova Scotia and there is no father's name listed on my son's birth certificate. The person who donated his sperm does not want any involvement in my son's life which is fine. I got a passport for my son. I provided my son's birth certificate to the passport office and I also had to write a letter to them (they told me what to write when I was applying for son's passport) telling them that my son has no father and there is no pending custody case pending.

I then went to court and got soul custody of my son and in my court documents it states that I can obtain a passport for my son without written permission from the sperm doner and I can travel outside Canada without permission from that doner.

Since you know the father I would highly suggest that you do the same as me and go to court to get official court documents stating you have soul custody (if something ever happened to your child you make all decisions) and get it written that you can obtains passport without father and take your child out of Canada without father's permission. It will make your life so much easier.
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#8 of 13 Old 07-15-2009, 05:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Princess -

Was it as simple as swearing that he has never been involved and the court going based on that for the paperwork? I dread the prospect of having to prove paternity just to get something in writing (terminated rights?) saying the father is not involved. He will NOT be happy (not that I really care, it's just the trouble of it). I mean, how does one PROVE that the father is not and has not been involved? How does the court know that he has had ample opportunity to be involved and that it's not just a case of me keeping my son from his father instead?

And damn! The letter thing sounds like a great idea. I mailed the passport application today and included both his birth certificate (which was the piece that I indicated on the application) and also his long-form birth registration, which shows me as the only parent but I am still half expecting that I'll get the application returned. I went to the office here and they told me I'd have to phone Passport Canada directly as my application wasn't a straightforward one so I did and they told me I needed the father's information. I will hunt around for info on a letter.

I don't have a lawyer as I've never needed one. I guess I should look into a family law one?

Peggy: full-time shift-working mama to Kiddo (Nov|04) and Babygirl (May|11). Fiancée to Babe. Step-mom to Tween, my bonus daughter (Sep|00). Currently TTC - http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3c1739

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#9 of 13 Old 07-15-2009, 05:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for the replies as well. They are incredibly helpful as this is all very new to me. There has been no need for any mention of his father up until now.

Peggy: full-time shift-working mama to Kiddo (Nov|04) and Babygirl (May|11). Fiancée to Babe. Step-mom to Tween, my bonus daughter (Sep|00). Currently TTC - http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3c1739

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#10 of 13 Old 07-16-2009, 03:05 PM
 
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yes, it was that simple. I walked (I didn't do it through the post or by phone) into the passport office with my son's birth certificate (on the cert - where it says fathers name - it says N/A. I told the clerk that there is not a father and they asked me to sign a letter that there is no father and there is no court case or suit pending. It was that easy. I did not have to prove paternity..nothing. I didn't have to prove it..that went on my word, and of course my signed letter.

I got a lawyer so I could have sole custody of my son. It doesn't matter if the father's not involved, having formally court documents signed by a judge means alot. You prove that the father is not involved in your child's life..you have the father of your child served with papers and you go to court (unless he agrees to sign off on the legal papers a lawyer draws up). In your legal papers, you have stipulated that you want sole custody, you want to leave Canada without the father's consent and you want to obtain a passport for you child without the consent of the father. If for some reason down the road, the father moves, having these stipulations in a legal document will have you time and headaches.
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#11 of 13 Old 07-16-2009, 04:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, Princess41. The nearest passport office is 4 hours away in Toronto. We have a little kiosk here in one of the other gov't offices (SIN, birth cert., etc) who have applications, can answer simple questions, and take straightforward applications to send on but when I attended there in person they told me my case wasn't straightforward and I'd have to speak with Passport Canada directly. There is an office in Thunder Bay waaaaaaaaaaaay north of here and a bunch in Southern Ontario, with Toronto being the closest.

I have been thinking a lot over the last few days and I do agree that having something formal/official that I am the sole parent would alleviate so many possible future problems or difficulties.

Peggy: full-time shift-working mama to Kiddo (Nov|04) and Babygirl (May|11). Fiancée to Babe. Step-mom to Tween, my bonus daughter (Sep|00). Currently TTC - http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3c1739

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#12 of 13 Old 07-24-2009, 12:56 AM
 
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Nevermind, I just realized you are in Canada and I was posting US info.
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#13 of 13 Old 07-30-2009, 04:05 PM
 
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Just wondering how this is all working out for you?

I just came across the following at http://www.albertacourts.ab.ca/go/Co...9/Default.aspx

"I want to go on a holiday with my children to the United States. Do I need to have the other parent’s permission?
Most of the time, you need the other parent’s consent to cross the border with the children. The only times you do not need to get the other parent’s consent to leave the country with the children is if you are the only parent listed on the child’s birth certificate or passport or if you have an order for sole custody. In all other cases, you should have an order permitting you to travel outside of the country with the children or a statutory declaration signed by the other parent allowing you to travel outside of the country with the children"

And thought of you. I Hope this helps.
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