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anyone done d.i.y. divorce?

526 views 6 replies 7 participants last post by  lilyka 
#1 ·
STBX says he wants to do a d.i.y. divorce via on-line legal document software. He says he'll agree to whatever I want. I think he just wants to make this quick and painless as possible. Has anyone done this, any suggestions?
 
#2 ·
I say you should consult an attorney (maybe even several) before even seriously considering this as an option.

I found my ex wanted things done quickly and it was for a reason...... in the end I am glad it did not happen. Some items that were decided before I spoke with an attorney like him signing the delcaration of paternity and giving dd his last name at birth are things I would have done otherwise had I consulted an attorney and knew what those actions fully meant should things ever not be so "happy go lucky"....
 
#3 ·
Look up my past threads if you want to see how that story goes. I did d.i.y., ex agreed to mostly everything, etc. Now? He's taking me to court for the 4th time in a year. Quick and painless in the short term often becomes neverending, expensive drama in the longrun. Please seek a highpower attorney or two asap to go over your situation. Even if you don't end up going that route, you won't regret the money spent, and it may well save you from the kind of money drain cycle I'm being dragged through....
 
#4 ·
I did... sort of. we did it the "cheap" was since neither of us wanted lawyers and such. and we agreed on everything. I went through a divorce place that does the paper work for you called We the People. Im in CA and not sure if this is nationwide. They charged me $400 for their services. I of course had to pay another $300 to file with the court and so did my stbx. They got all the docs ready and we signed and that was that. we had everything in there as to who gets what and custody arrangements.
 
#5 ·
I'm doing it now so I can't really give you full btdt advice. I would suggest consulting an attorney to make sure you have your bases covered. It was very helpful to me.

We don't have any assets so I feel comfortable doing it. He has also consistently paid CS and spousal for three years now.

If we had assets, or were not amicable, I would use an attorney.
 
#6 ·
This depends on your situation. I am doing the diy divorce and most everyone I know has done it this way. How it works here is: I went to the courthouse and searched through the divorce papers (all public record) to find a set that said what I wanted mine to say. I got copies made and typed the papers as they were with our names, dates, etc. in them. We agreed on everything so it was easy to do this even the custody/visitation and child support arrangements. Once they were typed we went to the court house together, both signed in front of the notary public and it was $57 to file it. We have to wait 60 days, then turn in financial docs the courthouse gave us and 2 checklists saying yes we agree on this this and this yadayada. They will set a court date and the judge will go over the papers and sign.

Its really easy to do and much cheaper this way but only if you are willing to agree to everything. If you have a lot of assets to divide or any disputes I'd get a lawyer. Here though it was $750 for a noncontested with an attorney and starts at $1500 for contested. Yikes!!!
 
#7 ·
Its a good starting place but I wouldn't sign anything until it has been reviewed by a lawyer. he does not need a lawyer but definitely get one for yourself. xh and I hammered out almost everything by ourselves. our lawyers would look over it and say "address this like this" and when things came up (harassment) it was nice to have someone with more teeth than me say "knock it off or I'll file a restraining order" ans she could have stuff like that done far faster and more effectively than I could so when she said it stopped right away.

but definitely get as much sorted on your time as possible. use your attorney when you need to but really, so much of it is fill in the blank. might as well do that yourself. mine was good about giving me homework. she did not mind letting me do as much as possible on my own to save me money. but I do not regret a single penny I spent on her. I would never finalize without a good attorney.
 
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