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#121 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 11:53 AM
 
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oh my goodness butterfly! that's so exciting and i'm so amazed at how well you asserted yourself to a total stranger online at that! how do you find time to date? i'm envious of how much extra time you seem to have to at least grab a cup of coffee and i do love living vicariously through you! i really hope this turns into something. it seems like sparks and time flew for you. owwwweeee. haha. i think that's better than nail biting.

i'm on okc again and i'm a little nervous about it. it's where i met my ex that turned out badly but its not the sites fault but i am being way more wary now. i used to be sorta ok meeting someone in a kid public place (like the play place at the mall or the park) but after the reaction my kids had to my ex the first day i really am not letting it happen like that for a while.

anyways i am messaging with someone on there (and another person asked me for coffee) but i wish i could get out for an hour and do coffee or something instead of just waiting around till my ex takes the kids. who KNOWS when that will be anyways this guy wears glasses too! (and so does coffee date!) weird! seems like a cool guy but i'm unsure. i don't know if i'm just extremely jittery because of my previous relationship or what. the new guy has said a couple things that make me jump...almost literally. i'll have to write them out and ask you guys later as i'm going to be late for a MW appt. oh gosh and that's something else i gotta ask about....how to break that news? write it on my profile or just not mention it until a face to face?
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#122 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 12:17 PM
 
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Wow, butterflymom, that sounds like an awesome first date.
So I am utterly, totally smitten with the jazz composer. God, I'm like a schoolgirl right now. He was supposed to come over last night, but he came down with a 101 degree fever (swine flu, maybe?). But we wound up talking on the phone for two hours, having the most amazing conversation about all kinds of stuff. And we both admitted how into each other we are. He was talking about extending his trip, and saying he was thinking about moving back down here.
I'm really stoked about this. It's early, and I'm pretty paranoid about relationships that get too intense too fast. But I really, really like this guy and I'm so enjoying getting to know him. It's just driving me crazy that he's sick. I'm dying to have him in my arms again. I keep on watching these youtube videos of him playing and just mooning over them.

Jen, journalist, policy wonk, and formerly a proud single mama to my sweet little man Cyrus, born at home Dec. 2007 . Now married to my Incredibly Nice Guy and new mama to baby Arthur.
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#123 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 12:18 PM
 
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Butterfly!

Way to take initiative. He sounds like potential.

And as painful as the waiting is, I like your strategy. YOU made the first move, now sit still and wait for him to chase you! You've had run arounds with too many lazy men this summer -- see if this one will step up to the challenge!

and Mama Jen : hooray!
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#124 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 02:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Those youtube links better show up, privately, by my bedtime tonight. MamaJen you have four-six hour to notice this decree and include the rest of us in this musician-ogling.
DanishMom, report in here about the date last weekend! Social scientist's wishy washy crap and mr. Ready. The girl's here deserve the skinny.
Dhinderliter, I have far too much time without my children to fill. when to tell someone you're pregnant? I think perhaps whenever it feels like information they deserve. When it seems potentially relevant to them because you two just might still be involved in april. I have burned out from telling my entire custody drama situation with new dates so I kind of avoid talking about it on first or second dates.
And um, yeah. Nineteen hours since I've seen him and no move to contact me. Argh! He's so perfect for me, it's killing me not to talk to him or know when we'll meet again.
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#125 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 02:34 PM
 
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You got it. One jazz composer ogling, coming right up.
It is an interesting experiment to let the guy be the guy and do the pursuing. I'm usually so forward, so I know what you mean.

Jen, journalist, policy wonk, and formerly a proud single mama to my sweet little man Cyrus, born at home Dec. 2007 . Now married to my Incredibly Nice Guy and new mama to baby Arthur.
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#126 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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So happy for everyone here! Keep the updates coming girls. I need the entertainment.
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#127 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 03:28 PM
 
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Glad everyone is having such a good time! I hope things keep going so well. Butterflymom I'm sure you'll hear from him soon. Keep it coming girls. I need the entertainment.
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#128 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 03:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm totally gigi from the movie, 'He's Just Not That Into You' right now... Checking my email every thirty minutes to see if he's contacted. Pathetic!
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#129 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 05:32 PM
 
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You got it. One jazz composer ogling, coming right up.
It is an interesting experiment to let the guy be the guy and do the pursuing. I'm usually so forward, so I know what you mean.
Ooo, ooo! I want to see too! Are you in private land?
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#130 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 06:09 PM
 
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poor butterflymom has butterflys...lol. i'm so witty *snort*

i wish i had some time without the kids. that may be horrible to say but i've been hook, line and sinker for 5 years and i deserve some time for myself! i think that's why college is going to be so great. ahhhh adult convo and real words ooowwweeee! haha

so just having random convo's with this new okc guy. havent met him yet since i don't have the time yet but here's a couple of quotes i kinda jumped at.

"so why could you be better and what can i do to fix it?"
"if you live on the SW side i could bring you some" (i had a horrid headache he said take tylenol; i mentioned i may not have any then that i also i don't have people i've never met over at my house
"oh didn't even think of that. i'm just trying to help..."
i asked if he had recieved my email (first email as we used okc mail before) and said not to worry about replying just checking unless he's bored
"it's not like i need to be bored to enjoy corresponding with you" <---- that didn't freak me out but i figured i'd throw it in.

so i'm just being really jittery right? these are normal, sweet, considerate comments right? and yes i am perfectly fine with all of you saying WTH is your problem you crazy pregnant lady? haha. i know i'm jumpy and weird after the last relationship (for good reason) and analyzing every sentence with girls is what dating girls do right? plz tell me i'm just being weird.

still don't see any video links....*taps foot*
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#131 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 07:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ahhhhhhh, musicians......

Should be available for us all soon. Right, Jen?

speaking of privately available images..... DanishMom insisted I share many of Spectacled Smarty so enjoy.
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#132 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 08:17 PM
 
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Ladies - I need some help! So the guy I had the nice first date with suggested a squash game for the second...BUT, I have not played squash in years, and was never very good to begin with. I'm not comfortable doing that at this point. I suggested a hike - he said that sounded good. However, the weather looks crappy! It's going to be in the low 50s with showers! Really not hiking weather. What other ideas do you have? The other sort of sporty things that we both like/do are biking and kayaking, neither of which will work in this weather. Any other ideas?? I REALLY don't want to go the squash route for a second date....
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#133 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 09:48 PM
 
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mamajen i'd love to see those youtube videos!
jazz trumpet player here, i can give my humble assessment, hahaha...

i'm having a hard time having no communicado with CG till saturday, so i have to entertain myself with your stories meanwhile
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#134 of 295 Old 10-14-2009, 11:37 PM
 
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Hello ladies, I've been lurking here for months now enjoying all the tales of dating! I'm recently separated and ready to give dating a try. Although as a mama of 5 it scares me, I guess fear of rejection based on the number of kids I have?
I've been messaging a bit on fb with a single neighbour, then we chatted on fb the other night after I had a status that the kids were with dad, and again for over an hour yesterday morning. He is a super sweet guy,I've been crushing on him for a long time! I think he is cute and hot and he's really tall, yum . He has his 3 kids 50% of the time. He was complimenting my pic and we flirted a bit, but then it seemed to get a bit intense after he asked how many kids I had! Turns out he thought I had 3, he also thought I was about 5 years younger than I am! He asked a lot of ? like if they all have the same dad, what the visitation schedule is, are we separated. I don't really know what to think about the way it went. I think he may have given me the " you've got how many kids?" brush off, single mama friends think it didn't go to badly! Gosh I feel like a teenager all over again!!!
I'm not ready for POF type dating sites but did join are you interested on fb the other night! Haven't clicked anyone yet but got lots of clicks on me, a really nice ego boost
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#135 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 01:18 AM
 
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Been a little bit since I've been here, but wanted to drop in.
Butterflymom: I really think I need to see that movie...that sounds a lot like the way I behave when I have a crush. Oh and I hear my text message ringer in every song!
Rosehip:All that's coming to mind is bowling...sort of competitive, sort of sporty, safe for all weather...IDK just a suggestion
momanserson:Sounds like he is interested to me. I mean he wants to know about you, curious about your situation...stay excited and in contact.

I went out for drinks with a a guy that I used to see a while back. He is very smart which is really what attracted me to him initially, but there is nothing suave about him, and I like some suave. Conversation is always really smooth, and he seems to really like me. He invited me out last weekend and it's been a while since we got together. Last time we had a date he took me to a bar that was just not the kind of place I would hang out. Very much a young party crowd which is fine but not me. So after that date I let him know that those kind of places weren't my thing. Where does he take me to? A bar that is exactly the same. OK OK, maybe I'm just not as cool as I used to be, but did he think I would enjoy myself? And then a group of his friends and his BROTHER show up. He was so casual about it, and they all acted like they had heard about me before. It was just awkward for me so I found an out after an hour or so. He keeps texting me for drinks. I am sort of halfway about this guy. He's finishing medical school, dresses really well, very polite, very into me, but kind of a dork really. I usually really like dork, but expect a bit more social intelligence. I don't know if there is potential in there, or if I would just be dealing with a lot of awkward moments with this guy.
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#136 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 02:16 AM
 
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sbp~ i would say if his game isn't on right now then A.) he thinks he's already got you B.) that he doesn't have any or C.) that he doesn't care whether you think you should continue to date anyways. so I'd say if you just HAD to have something to do maybe keep his number but if there's no zazazoom (is that what is these days instead of spark? hehe) you don't need to pour energy into it.

momanderson~ uh cute hottie involved dad right next door...where do i sign up! i'd say if he's asking schedules it's so he can see when he could mesh it with his....course i'm no expert but that would make sense to me! and i think the difference between 3 and 5 and the point you 2 are at is pretty nil. it's like hmm....there would be at least 5 kids if he were dating a "regular" (i.e. 2 kids) single mom! and if he's a next door neighbor why are you chatting on FB? go out in the moonlight when his/your kids are asleep and talk! lol. i like telling other people how to date cause i can't fail at my own!

rosehip~ i'm not sporty so i'm not sure what to tell you but i always thought a cool/fun/nerdy date would be to go to a borders/waldens etc and get a coffee and read comics or something to discuss. find your childhood fave's, something that was a weird fave in high school, something you haven't picked up in forever etc.
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#137 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 03:45 AM
 
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Wow at all the messages I missed today! Rosehip I think the idea of bowling that was posted is good.

momanderson: I agree that he was probably just making conversation, getting to know you better, and trying to figure out how to mesh the two schedules together. Can't wait for more updates on him!

Okay ladies... I think I've completely lost it. I took everyone's advice and set up a profile on POF a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't gotten back on there to look until today and I saw where a couple of people had looked at the profile. One of them looked interesting so I sent him a message. *gulp*

He actually responded back and after a couple of short messages back and forth I said there had to be a better way to do this and he asked for my #. He texted me a few times after that and then asked if he could call. We sat on the phone for a little while talking until I had to go but he seems nice. Looks kind of cute too. He works off so he's out of town right now but he's still home on weekends and asked if we might could meet Sunday. I'm so nervous!!! What on earth am I doing?! (I guess we'll call this one Nemo since I don't know enough about him to give him a real name and he came from POF ) And photos are available privately immediately!
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#138 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 10:12 AM
 
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What on earth am I doing?!
getting out there and having fun, mama!

so while i eagerly anticipate meeting CG, i have another hot pursuer, a guy form south america, photographer, divorced, teenage kids, handsome, intellectual, intriguing. i tolf him upfront i wasn't sure where i was at dating wise right now and he said no pressure, we can just hang..then within 24 hrs he was writing "i won't lie to you, you look gorgeous" and "sweet tired kisses for you"..ah, these latin guys

so he wants to meet for coffee this weekend, and i don't have the kids so it's entirely possible but it feels funny. not like CG and I have made a commitment to each other, but..I don't know...then again i can't put everything on hold for someone i've never met, right? and it might give my confidence a little boost in preparation for CG. a little practice run...!

i tell you, once you get those pheremones going you start attracting people like crazy, i think. my best male friend came on heavily (sweetly) the other night and told me he's v attracted to me..it's v mutual, and now we're both separated so can finally admit it, but i also know it wouldn't really work and we can talk openly about it while i also show him pictures of CG. he gave his approval
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#139 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 12:20 PM
 
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So I am new to the thread! I have been trying to read and keep up but I am getting confused lol. Running on no sleep. Anyways, I am Emi mama to 2 girls who are 2 and 4. I am separated after being married 5 years. I have put up a profile on POF and okc but none of these people even remotely interest me lol. I am talking to a guy I worked with last year (Lets call him Lowes boy). We haven't hung out since I quit working there in April of this year. He ask for me and the girls to join him at a local park that is like a HUGE hiking trail the other day so we all went and was gone for like 3 hrs just walking,talking,enjoying the nice day.AMAZING is all I can say. Can't get enough of this boy but def. not falling in love,etc.He is 28,no kids,never married,lives alone,depends on noone and phew can't get much better LOL. I will post a pic on the FB group if someone will send me the link for the group please? Nice to meet you guys!

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#140 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 03:00 PM
 
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I woke up this morning to a good morning message from the POF guy with a rose on it. How sweet! He's been texting my phone all day. This is so strange talking to someone I don't even know like this. You'd think being a bartender I'd be use to it. Did anyone check out the privateland photos? Did ya did ya?
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#141 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 03:08 PM
 
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Muse: I think a trial run with the latin boy sounds like a great idea. Maybe it'll make you more comfortable when you meet CG. I can't wait for an update on the meeting with CG though.

Averysmomma: Your friend sounds great. Its nice to connect with someone like that when you've already known them. Its amazing where you can find someone. When do you see him again?
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#142 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 03:39 PM
 
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Muse: I think a trial run with the latin boy sounds like a great idea. Maybe it'll make you more comfortable when you meet CG. I can't wait for an update on the meeting with CG though.

Averysmomma: Your friend sounds great. Its nice to connect with someone like that when you've already known them. Its amazing where you can find someone. When do you see him again?
well believe it or not we talk every single day for 5+ hrs through out the day so we mostly just play it by ear. He works 3rd shift,has some medical problems right now so sometimes he can't go out from dizziness,feeling sick. The other day was TOTALLY random he got off work at 6am and ask me at 7am if I was to tired for me and the girls to come to the park. Since hes such a WONDERFUL friend I didn't mind bringing my girls which wouldn't be normal for me usually but they LOVED him. He carried my youngest the whole way,showed them turtles,duckies,etc. The walk was about 5 miles and I was tired but I loved it. He is off on Wed, and friday nights so if hes not sick or has time we hang sometimes but I am busy with the kids,etc. We are hoping to go a hr or so away to flea market. Oh, he did ask if I wanted to go to his sisters (in Delaware, we are in North Carolina) for the weekend of halloween but I can't because of things with the kids. Wonderful boy lol.

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#143 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 03:46 PM
 
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Brittneyscott: Sounds fun! Good for you. Let us know how it goes. I saw the photo, but it was too small for me to make out the face
Muse: Umm…if things don’t work out with you and the hot latin photographer, could you please send him to Texas? Sounds right up my alley. I say go ahead and practice on him until the real deal comes around.
Averysmommo05: Hello there. I pop in and out, but it’s always fun to read about new adventures, so keep posting!

I had lunch today (I gave in) with MMM. I am so ridicoulously into him it's just not funny. He's gorgeous, nice, well spoken, and conversation was so easy and fun. *sigh* BUT....he's not into me
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#144 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 03:52 PM
 
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I am waiting on add a pic of him on the group as soon as I join the group. Butterflymom is going to send me to info!

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#145 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 03:55 PM
 
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Brittneyscott: Sounds fun! Good for you. Let us know how it goes. I saw the photo, but it was too small for me to make out the face
Muse: Umm…if things don’t work out with you and the hot latin photographer, could you please send him to Texas? Sounds right up my alley. I say go ahead and practice on him until the real deal comes around.
Averysmommo05: Hello there. I pop in and out, but it’s always fun to read about new adventures, so keep posting!

I had lunch today (I gave in) with MMM. I am so ridicoulously into him it's just not funny. He's gorgeous, nice, well spoken, and conversation was so easy and fun. *sigh* BUT....he's not into me
Sorry I must of missed it in back replies but can you update me? any reason why you think MMM isn't into you? Was lunch good? I am glad you had fun!

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#146 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 08:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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BUT....he's not into me
why do you think so? :

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Did ya did ya?
mmmhmmm. Yum. and cute dog. You NEEDED a new prospect so this rocks. Give it a whirl.

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now we're both separated so can finally admit it, but i also know it wouldn't really work and we can talk openly about it while i also show him pictures of CG. he gave his approval
Would you feel differently about giving things a go wit him if you weren't over the moon about CG? :


As for me, I heard from Spectacled Smarty and he just dropped me a line on facebook, nearly 48 hours after we saw each other..... in his note he mentioned that he was awfully tired the next day after meeting me (yesterday) and then put a frowny face emoticon after that. Then said a bit of blah blah about his week, he's really busy and has even more work coming, and he hasn't found tickets to go to London yet. and then 'cu'. and that's it.

Didn't say 'but meeting you was worth it' or 'your company was worth it' after putting the frowny about how tired he was the day after our late night tea date. Didn't say anything about me at all actually. Just whined about work and weariness and abruptly signed out with a 'cu' ........ F that! Can we all say it together now, class? "He's just not that into you....!"





On the bright news, Sensitive Engineer called (not texted, not chatted me up on facebook, didn't email me, no --called me) and asked me how my kids were doing (he knew they had a flu) and how I was and told me he'd like to know when we could see each other again and he had something for me from his trip (remember all the flirty cute stuff about wanting a souvenier from a weekend away? I guess he figured i like him to remember me on trips, in general, and bring back proof that I crossed his mind. Smart guy.) So I told him next week I could see him and we agreed to touch base back together in a few days to see what day it would be.

So...... I'm thinking that since the first two dates were him hanging out at my place after work, drinking beer from my fridge and eating food from my kitchen, if he wants to see me again, it'll be an actual friggin' date. He'll just have to work it into his schedule if he wants to see my face again. We've said nothing thusfar about *what* it'll be at our next encounter, so when he contacts again to see about that, I'll make sure I hint and send the message about my new rule. It's easy. If he asks if I'd like to see him I'll answer, "Oh yes, I think it's been long enough since a man as handsome as you took me out on a date. I'd love to go out with you." or "I'd love for you to show me your favorite spot for a bite to eat on whatever night you dont' have other dinner plans" or just simply, "I'd love to go out. Where shall we go?" and he'll get it that him just 'coming over' after work and hanging out and sleeping over is not gonna fly if he wants to take this thing forward. I was so into him in the beginning that since the first meeting was 9pm and the second one was even later and I knew about his super long 12+ hour days at work I just kinda felt the urge to play hostess and accomodate/pamper him a bit and just that girly/feminine thing to nurture, I kinda dropped any 'game' I have about my dating rules and gave him teh wrong message about what's acceptable. Now I've sobered up and am willing to cut him loose if he can't show a little pursuit and wine and dine me a bit. 3 years younger + student or not. One hot meal is all I'm asking, to start with. He can swing it.

Let the games begin.
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#147 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 09:27 PM
 
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hmmm i'm buying butterflymom's "Single Mom's and Dating" rule book!

i'm aggravated at RR. very aggravated. idiots men are.... i guess we "got into it" because he was making lots of sexual comments this morning via text and last night (after a MW appt and being told i needed more vaginal tests) i was telling him how i'm sick of docs just thinking they know my body and wanting to do more tests and they everyone can keep their lilly fingered cotton picken thumbs off me and he seemed like he did well and got the clue that i am still recovering from my ex's abuse. i guess it all got lost in the muddle of his head and just everything we were saying was being interpreted wrong yada yada yada. so now i have to explain all my feelings on why i say this and that while still knowing what he's talking about all via TEXT. he said he was gonna come over tonight for a little bit but didn't cause he figured i was mad. well YEAH but that doens't mean DISSAPEAR so i have to text you! i'm an adult and adults have disagreements. i'm not some kid who's gonna slam the door in your face just cause i want to have a tantrum.

and We're not even DATING!

hmmm i like those big letters. makes me feel better.

i really shouldn't be dating...i should be having weekly "dates" with a counselor.
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#148 of 295 Old 10-15-2009, 11:24 PM
 
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Averysmomma05:MMM is a model that I enjoy photographing and also have a huge crush on. I did a few favors for him with his photos, and he offered me dinner in return which turned into lunch. It was really fun!
Butterflymom: Wow! I forgot that men actually do make real phone calls. I sometimes think it’s such a cop out to just text all the time. You absolutely deserve a full night on the town with sensitive engineer. Let him treat you like a lady.
Dhinderliter: I have had my most frustrating conversation via text. Pretty intense for someone who you wouldn’t consider yourself to be dating. I say forget about RR and focus on you. Sounds like you need some distress time.

Oh, and I’m not sure exactly why I don’t think MMM is into me. He’s a super nice guy and prob really nice to everyone, but I tell you he makes my heart melt. I guess I would need for him to ask me out other than in return for a favor, and that has not happened. Oh…but he remembered all kinds of details about our last conversation and was asking me about this and that. I sent him an email after lunch to saying “Thanks again for lunch, I enjoyed myself, you are great company”. Do you think he would be able to read between those lines and realize that it really meant “I have a huge crush on you and want to spend hours staring in your eyes”? His response was “No problem. You’re the best!” Makes me feel like a kid sister. He also informed me over lunch that he now volunteers his time building playgrounds for communities in need *sigh*
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#149 of 295 Old 10-16-2009, 12:04 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflymom View Post
Would you feel differently about giving things a go wit him if you weren't over the moon about CG? :

No, not with my friend... Well, i dunno, maybe in 10 yrs or something we'll end up together..but there's not the same sparks I'm looking for, it's a little too brother-sisterly.

But Amazon Man as I'll call him, definitely. He's very intriguing to me. Funny, he and Chicago Guy write similar kinds of messages. Both send sweet nothings in french and spanish..cute. Wait, i mean *sexy*

I didn't respond to his emails yesterday and today he wrote in the daytime, ie, from work, asking how my day was going. Sweet.

sbphotogr, we have to manifest an Amazon Man out your way!

So Ok i think i will have coffee with him this weekend if he's up for it, though it's a little awkward as CG and I are scheduling a 2 hr phonecall for sat pm. Oh well.

Wow, what an exciting thread this is, I can hardly keep up!
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#150 of 295 Old 10-16-2009, 03:09 AM
 
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Averysmomma: He sounds wonderful!!!

Sbphotogrl: I'm glad you finally took the lunch with MMM. I'd wait and see what happens now.

Butterflymom: Sorry things haven't worked so well with SS so far but I think things sound like they are picking up with Sensitive Engineer. Woohoo!

dhinderliter: It sucks you have to have an argument with him and even through texting!!! Ugh!

muse: I have a friend like that. He's my best friend and although he jokes we both know nothing could go on between us because we've been so close for so long. Craziness.


Well Nemo has been texting my phone all day. He sent me another photo of him and I sent him a couple of me. I really hope he comes out this weekend sometime so I can meet him. He seems really sweet. Gosh it feels good to actually have a decent prospect again. Of course I've heard from Country Cutie again today... ugh. I hope there are sparks with the new one...


Well
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