Custody based on precedent of night care? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 10-02-2009, 06:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks

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#2 of 7 Old 10-02-2009, 06:38 PM
 
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He's going to drink himself wasted at night while he's the adult on deck for two sleeping children? Or am I mistaken, and there will be another adult around, to be present/act in case of emergency?

: You're already anticipating a custody battle with an alchoholic dad? You can prove his drinking habits, no? ......you're not so sure you're going to leave him, ever? More details, please?
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#3 of 7 Old 10-02-2009, 06:40 PM
 
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Hmmmm....Well, I guess it depends on your state child support enforcement agency.. when we had our trial, custody was based on the total number of overnights that each parent had with the children. Even if I watched them more hours, they were sticklers to the overnight rule as far as we were concerned.

Do some research under your state..good luck!!

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#4 of 7 Old 10-02-2009, 07:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#5 of 7 Old 10-02-2009, 07:55 PM
 
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I'm not a single mama anymore, but I used to be.

I'm sure your lawyer can help you figure out what is the right course to take, maybe they take into account the night shift that some parents have to work!

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#6 of 7 Old 10-03-2009, 03:45 PM
 
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has there been any talk of divorce?

have you met someone else?

do YOU want a divorce now?

to me it seems like you are in a good place now. why would you want to rock the boat, unless it was unbearable for you. the reason why i ask is divorce really brings out the nasties in people - no matter what. in most cases.

bottom line - it all comes down to the lawyer and somewhat to the judge. no matter what your situation if you get a good lawyer which also means mucho bucks, then you can get almost what you ask for provided it is within reason. i have seen incredible work lawyers do.

you say you havent started working yet right? take the job. start working. and see how it goes. give it a couple of months and see how it all fits in. if you can manage teh time.

honestly if i was in your shoes i would love that schedule.

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#7 of 7 Old 10-03-2009, 05:25 PM
 
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before I got a divorce I was working a 10-6 shift. I quit shortly after finding out about the affair (i lost my everlovin' mind). Having worked overnights before the divorce did not effect custody at all. I was still the stay at home parent and primary care giver. HOWEVER, the minute I filed for a divorce my overnight shifts ended. If I worked overnights now the kids would spend the night with him and that would make it their permanant home and he would, by default have custody (which sucks because I love that shift and working that shift would also garuntee me full time and benefits which would have me out of debt within a year!!!!) . I still do overnights every other weekend when he has the kids (I am telling you the manager is a superstar) but otherwise I work the day shift. a shift I will likely never be full time at or have benefits.

If you are not divorced yet a night shift might be a good choice. you would likely get a differential and make more money. you would be able to save up for a good lawyer and transitional money. if their dad is a bad influence you will minimize his amount of time with them but being their all day and only beiong gone while he is asleep. if you are still living together don't worry about the precedent. but be prepared to quit that job the minute you file for a divorce.

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