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#1 of 3 Old 10-26-2009, 06:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not sure where this should go but it's mainly about money so I'll try here and possible separation so I'm posting in single parenting and f&f.
I've been a sahm for 4 years, before that I was in school but I didn't finish (long story). I have 5 kids ages 9, 7, 4, 3, and almost 2 weeks. My 4 year old has global development delays and some mild physical disabilities, my 9 year old is dyslexic. We currently homeschool, the schools here are beyond awful. There are almost no resources for ds2's disabilities locally, no sped class, no therapies worth the trouble going through all the iep stuff for (we are talking 30 min a month or so from the schools). I have no friends here and very little family (my very busy sister). DP and I are not doing well, he's been laid off for almost two months, ue is not covering the bills, he HATES living here. DD was born on 10/14, I've been emotional/hormonal, the holidays are coming and the stress has been bad. This place isn't all bad though, it's a small town, the cost of living is really low. We have our home, the kids have their routine and friends. I could probably survive here on whatever min wage job I can find if I had to and if I could find childcare (that is a big if). My mom might be able to come stay here with me if dp and I separate but I don't know for how long.
My other option is to pack up some of our things and go stay with my sister in a different state where there are more resources, better schools, and more family that can help. The downside is obviously not having our own home right away or most of our things and the cost of living there is much higher.
I am already trying to prepare the kids for school and this is really tough, ds1 still struggles with basic reading even after completing 3 different phonics based reading programs, he has an awful memory and just doesn't retain this information from day to day I was really hoping to get him through this myself, I've seen too many people with these types of issues crushed by the ps system.
I honestly have no idea what to do and I'm terrified....
I've struggled with depression, I've isolated myself, and I have almost no work experience.
WWYD?? Which situation would be better if I do end up on my own?
ETA We have not separated, I just really need some big lifestyle changes to make sure I'm in a good place for myself because I'm no longer comfortable staying home and being financially dependent. We can all go to my sister's, we don't have to separate for that.
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#2 of 3 Old 10-26-2009, 07:38 PM
 
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i don't understand what you're asking. are you asking about work, the logistics of separation, if you should separate? are you looking for support?

this stuff is hard, sometimes it's difficult to organize your thoughts. be gentle with yourself, mama.
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#3 of 3 Old 10-26-2009, 07:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by josybear View Post
i don't understand what you're asking. are you asking about work, the logistics of separation, if you should separate? are you looking for support?

this stuff is hard, sometimes it's difficult to organize your thoughts. be gentle with yourself, mama.
Your right, it is really hard to organize my thoughts right now. I wish more then anything none of this was even happening. I guess what I'm trying to decide is what type of area would be better for us if me and my dp did separate. Low col and little help or more help with a higher col.
I also need to accept that my dp really hates it here, the stress that causes contributes to our current problems.
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