How would you respond??? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 04-29-2002, 01:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DD (6 yrs) has some serious questions regarding her bio-dad, and though I've tried to answer them, they are still coming up, so I know she's not hearing what she needs to hear. Without thinking of the consequences, I let her watch 'the parent trap'--bad idea!! Now she has elaborate fantasies (and who knows, she may have already had these ideas??) about her dad and I getting back together. I've already explained the obvious to her--that we have both remarried--but this seems to be only a minor inconvenience to her plans. She thinks that I could just fall out of love w/ dh and fall into love w/ her dad, or my dh could marry her stepmom. This would be amusing if the thought of it weren't so revolting to me, and sad that she thinks dh, who loves her and is a stable part of her life, is so disposable....She also asks if I still love/care about her dad, and whether someday her little (step) brother could come on visits to her dad's w/ her (no way!!). How can I answer her w/out giving away my true feelings about her dad? How do I tell her what she wants to hear?? Also, I am concerned that what I tell her will get back to her dad. Any suggestions??
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#2 of 3 Old 04-30-2002, 04:09 AM
 
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((hugs!)) Wow! Sounds like a tough age! I have no advice but wanted to offer some support! Is that the why why why age? Personally, my divorced and remarried parents hated each other but never ever did I hear anything negative come from either of them until I was a adult. Sounds like you're already enacting that idea, though.

She sounds extremely smart and calculating, can you divert those little head gears of hers into another problem? I used to love solving problems as a kid, for example, how to design the garden for the season or create a new game or system. *grasping at straws here*

Good luck!
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#3 of 3 Old 04-30-2002, 12:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your support Maurica! Yes, she a very sensitive and perceptive little girl, she notices and questions everything. Which is great but difficult when it comes to sensitive questions like these! Hmmm, put her mind in gear, I'll work on that...Thanks for the input!...Oh and funny you should talk about how your parents handled their divorce w/ you. My parents just told me they were no longer together because they fought too much and I just accepted it. I've tried telling this to dd in so many words, but it's not enough for her. :
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