instead I would ficus on building the bond with your dd. the bond she has with your parents is great. what can you do to improve your bond with her even while being the parent?
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
rejecting one parent for the other (in this case gparents) is pretty common.
but i am so sorry. it still hurts.
however dont take it personally. look upon it as your child growing up and trying to figure out life.
She is also getting to the age where she will see herself as a separate being from you and may just be testing boundaries to make sure that you will still be there no matter what and will love her no matter what. And as the mother of 3, I can tell you that those first steps towards independence never get any easier.
Try not to take it personally (easier said than done I know). Look at it as sign that you are doing a great job raising an independent, well-loved, secure child who trusts those around her. I had a friend who was a horrible mother and her ds would just sit on the floor and cry wherever he got hurt because he knew asking for comfort was pointless. She would just look at him and tell him he was okay and go on with her life, no kisses, no snuggles, no support. It broke my heart.
I felt like DS stopped listening to me and he always wanted them. They became the fun/play people, and I became the constant nagger... time to get dressed, time to brush your teeth, etc. Before we lived there, I felt like DS and I were a team, in this life adventure together.
Some of it is the age/stage they are going through too.
I was lucky and moved back on my own last Spring and things got much better pretty quickly.
Hang in there and know that your DD loves you and knows you are there for her. Here are a few ideas in case any of them sound like they might help:
-plan special you and her time a few times/week. Build it up as special event if it's just taking a walk, reading books together, going sledding, baking cookies, etc.
-If you think she's old enough to understand, make a sticker chart for some behaviors that are driving you nuts if she's not listening to you. I had to do that with getting dressed in the morning, because he would immediately run into my parents' room and climb in bed with them 1st thing and it was a nightmare trying to get him dressed and ready for the day. The sticker chart really helped. He got a sticker for "no fuss no muss" getting dressed 1st thing. And he was really proud of himself. I started using that for brushing teeth, etc. At her age, you don't even need a prize other than the sticker probably.
-If there's anything you can think of that your parents can do to help, talk to them calmly when your DD is sleeping or not around. If they are not backing you when you set a limit or something, ask them to support you.
I hope some of this helps! Everything goes in phases with little ones... this too shall pass. And at least she knows how much she is loved all around. What a gift.
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