I am a single working mom, well, soon-to-be-single. My husband moved 1500 miles away 5 months ago. Since he lives so far away, I get no evenings/weekends off. My parents do take the kids occasionally, but so far I've used that time to sleep or catch up at work.
People at work are nice, and I do talk to the receptionist as a real friend, but that's somewhat minimal. The rest of the time I am like a hermit at my desk, rarely interacting with anyone else. Weekends are catch up time for major chores, etc. It seems like the perfect time for friends would be after the kids are in bed, but the married moms are with their own families, and I would think single friends wouldn't want to do something so boring as come sit at my house. It just occurred to me that I could get a babysitter and go out, but there's little (or zero) money for that and my youngest is only 2 and would probably not take it well if he woke up to find me gone.
Am I just talking myself out of having friends? I've made every excuse there is. I have lots of online friends, but it's just not the same.
I would ask people to come over after the kids are in bed! Start small - ask a girlfriend if she'd like to come over to watch a movie or have a drink. I bet some people would love to!
Do activities with kids. Plan a park outing Sat morning with other kids/moms. You can also do zoo, library, etc.
I think the bottom line is you have to make socializing a priority. It can be tough - I know - but it's so worth it!
I also try to make sure I do something social when xh has the kids. even if I don't feel like I have time for it.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
one that involves your kids.
one that doesnt.
the doesnt part takes me a lot to organise since even though we coparent on the nights i dont have dd i have school.
otherwise most everywhere else my dd is involved.
i mean i would go stark raving crazy if i didnt. and you know what it really meets my needs for connection and conversation. since i have been doing it since dd was a baby (having an only certainly makes this easier) she kinda is used to having adults around. when she went thru the - your friends are my friends and i want to hang out with them too - i lost some friends. but otherwise now at 7 its easy. dd has many more playdates so she is not soo needy for company herself.
however she is part of our group - our life. compared to other two parent family, mostof my friends know that i am a two person family too. so whenever we go anywhere dd goes with me most of the time. when she was a year old we would go listen to music in cafes or places that were nonalchoholic. a couple of weeks ago i went ballroom dancing and dd came with our group. and danced better than i could
btw i would LOVE to come over to your house and hang out adn watch a movie or something. one thing we do v. often is cook together. i really love that. to have our dinner table surrounded by people.
in fact when i first became a single parent we somehow found some single parents in our area and we would have these clean up socials and take turns and go to each others houses and clean together.
today that i am back in school i have found many mor esingle parents. and even more babysitter help than i need at present.
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