*~*'~* February Dating Thread - Where is Cupid? *~*'~* - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 101 Old 02-11-2010, 09:17 AM
 
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Nice to see all the updates! I am interested in checking out those books -- I ecently started therapy again, but I'm not sure that a weekly sit-down with therapist is actually what I need, and frankly, if I'm going to prioritize something (besides work) for my child-free time, it would be going to the gym (which does at least as much as therapy for my mental state, and is good for my body as well, of course)...so thanks for the recommendations!

Things continue to be good with ATG. This past week he has been stepping up his attentiveness (not that it ever really slacked much, but there is some kind of improved quality to it, or something), which has been nice.

He is actually going to babysit for my youngest tonight -- I have to work and my childcare fell through. I felt a bit awkward asking him, but he was really sweet about it and seems really eager to do it, actually. He is def. closest to my youngest at this point, partly cause they've spent more time together than he has with any of the others, and partly because it is the age he has the most experience with.

Anyway. We'll see how it goes, but it is really nice to have his help with this.

I also half-jokingly invited him to come on vacation with me this summer -- I told him I was planning to use some of my tax refund money to rent a cottage by the ocean for a week this summer -- he said "oh, that sounds so nice" and i said well, you can come..my friend O is coming with me, with her kids...don't you think a vacation with 7 kids sounds relaxing?? He laughed, but then said "actually, that sounds really fun". Ironically, my friend O has just started dating a coworker and friend of ATG's who is a single dad of a little girl.....so now i have this funny daydream where we all go on vacation together!
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#62 of 101 Old 02-11-2010, 03:46 PM
 
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We should start a book rotation. I say that because I'm so broke but would love to read these.

momanderson, glad to see you say that about your neighbor. I just don't like that guy! Good riddance!

I go so back and forth with the dating for fun and dating for something more thing. I would love to find someone to be with. But it just seems so impossible sometimes, that if I don't do it for "fun" I may just stop dating altogether.

Seie, sugarmoon.. yay for things going well! sugarmoon, that vacation DOES sound fun! And if he could actually handle it, mad props to him.

LoveOhm, the guy lives largely in his head. He's spent a lot of time writing about philosophy, mathematics, and that sort of thing. He's very passionate about it and it's interesting to talk about which gives him points, but if he can't properly function in life and lives with his mother... well, yuck. I've got enough kids to deal with.
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#63 of 101 Old 02-12-2010, 02:44 AM
 
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Popping in after a loooong break. Just read the last couple of posts and wanted to respond.
Sugarmoon: I think the vacation sounds like a fun thing to fantasize about. His wilingness to join in on the thought is nice too. Who knows, it could come to pass.
mumblemama: I have not had the thought of dating for "something more" in quite a while.

As shallow as it may be ( and telling of other issues) I really date to get attention from men and pure entertainment. I almost want to cringe admitting that, but it has been so long since some one really interested me. Dating for me is really just a superficial way to feel good by flirting and having fun. I really do wish I could date for more subsatantial reasons, but I just haven't made it to that place yet.
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#64 of 101 Old 02-12-2010, 07:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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..........been traveling this week. So behind on everything--sorry!!

I am not in a dark place, Seie! I am very cool.



I am enjoying Germany with a girlfriend this week....
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#65 of 101 Old 02-12-2010, 02:42 PM
 
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We should start a book rotation. I say that because I'm so broke but would love to read these.

momanderson, glad to see you say that about your neighbor. I just don't like that guy! Good riddance!

I go so back and forth with the dating for fun and dating for something more thing. I would love to find someone to be with. But it just seems so impossible sometimes, that if I don't do it for "fun" I may just stop dating altogether.

Seie, sugarmoon.. yay for things going well! sugarmoon, that vacation DOES sound fun! And if he could actually handle it, mad props to him.

LoveOhm, the guy lives largely in his head. He's spent a lot of time writing about philosophy, mathematics, and that sort of thing. He's very passionate about it and it's interesting to talk about which gives him points, but if he can't properly function in life and lives with his mother... well, yuck. I've got enough kids to deal with.
Oh I do understand about all that! Hopefully he can properly function no one has time to raise another child...

about the books have you heard of www.swaptree.com ---- I am totally addicted to Swaptree!

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
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#66 of 101 Old 02-12-2010, 03:52 PM
 
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Quick update: ATG did great babysitting, and actually had all 4 kids longer than I'd planned for him to, and did the whole bedtime routine for everyone -- I got home to find the youngest asleep, in his bed (!!) and the others in bed with ATG just finishing the last bedtime story!
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#67 of 101 Old 02-12-2010, 09:51 PM
 
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Quick update: ATG did great babysitting, and actually had all 4 kids longer than I'd planned for him to, and did the whole bedtime routine for everyone -- I got home to find the youngest asleep, in his bed (!!) and the others in bed with ATG just finishing the last bedtime story!

Sugarmoon that is wonderful that he did so well!! Yay
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#68 of 101 Old 02-13-2010, 12:48 AM
 
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Woo hoo Sugarmoon now that is a sexy man!

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
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#69 of 101 Old 02-13-2010, 11:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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ATG rocks!!!!!
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#70 of 101 Old 02-14-2010, 02:09 AM
 
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Yes, ATG is so swell and you deserve it!!

sbphotogr, you know... I think you're just being honest.

I think I am just realizing more and more my major relationship issues. I am attracted to all the wrong sorts of people.
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#71 of 101 Old 02-14-2010, 07:17 PM
 
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Butterfly: That is great! I was hoping it was something like that, but isn't it great that someone is worrying about you

I spend friday evening and even saturday evening and sunday morning with Manager. I met his two sons who were there over the weekend. Honestly - I cannot say enough good things about the guy. I really can't. He is a joy all around. And a wonderful father is my impression - there was a good cosy atmosphere in the house with the boys there. Manager made us all lasagne -a great lasagne I must add and I really enjoyed his company, being around him and his kids and just sucking in all the good vibes. He really is so sweet and attentive to me - and wrote me a really cute valentines card and put in my bag as a surprise.
I really really like him a lot. Still not sure if that is enough. I am really really thinking hard about things right now and the harder I think, the fewer answers I have.

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#72 of 101 Old 02-14-2010, 10:15 PM
 
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I am really really thinking hard about things right now and the harder I think, the fewer answers I have.
Stop thinking. Seriously, Seie, just stop thinking about everything and enjoy what you have NOW.

You should just be enjoying these amazing, fun moments of connecting with someone... NOT thinking, overanalyzing, planning and/or preparing for something that you cannot control.
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#73 of 101 Old 02-14-2010, 11:34 PM
 
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Seie- I agree with Holland, stop over analyzing the situation and have fun, open your heart and soak up all the affection and attention! I know much easier said than done!! I am an over analyzer so I know what it's like!

I hope everyone had a nice valentines day! I did, even though I had no date and all I got were 3 roses from the grocery store from my xh. That was his big woo me back attempt
I spent the day with one of my girls and it was great!

I have had a bit of a change in attitude the last week or so. Neighbour is out, he's not worthy of me! Xh has been a total P/A pain in my butt, and I am just done there, like a switch has flipped and I feel no guilt what so ever for moving on with my life

I put my pof profile back up earlier this week, got a message within minutes. I chatted back and forth all week with the guy but then he just started coming on to strong and has no pic. He also lives 2 hours away. All of those are turn offs so delete!

Yesterday I decided to message some of the guys that had looked at my profile! One of them messaged back and we really seem to have a lot of the same views, upbringing etc. He's just finished going thru for paramedic, writing his licensing exam this week. Hello I love a man in uniform!! He's already a volunteer fireman in his town. So I am feeling really good about him, I'll call him Medicman!! He writes great long messages too!

Still emailing with mudpuppy The closest I can get out of him to any hint of getting together is today he said he "wished he could join us". We were going to go on the lake to see the ice sculpture display by the local art gallery and out for chinese food! Oh well it's a hint towards wanting to get together! I'm going to change mudpuppies name to the "health inspector" cause that's what he does!

Another guy that had messaged me months ago of pof also messaged me yesterday! He hadn't responded at all last time, I'm gonna put him in the looking for a 1 time girlfriend group though, his message had nothing to it and he wants to MSN chat. Thanks for telling me I'm cute but nah I'll pass!

I am feeling good about medicman and health inspector, they are very different guys so we shall see! I feel like I am in such a better place mentally now that I have no space in my brain for my neighbour! He was my rebound man and thats that!!
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#74 of 101 Old 02-15-2010, 05:58 AM
 
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Momanderson: Im so happy to hear you are finally over neighbourgh! You are really better off without him. I am wondering - did you ever meet up with health inspector or has it been all online communication? Phonecalls? Didn't he seem to loose interest at some point? Or? You have been talking about him for a long time - if you haven't met up I would say now is the time! Good luck with the medicman too. Being a paramedic is kind of a sexy job actually - hmm..

Holland and Momanderson: Thanks for telling me to chill a bit. I guess I should. I am just really scared if I will be leading him on - I know he really likes me and the way he looks at me - with so much vulnerability and trust - it scares the s*** out of me. He has never been pushy about anything - he just seems to have a big heart and - well he is so easy to read and it all spells "I LIKE YOU VERY MUCH" - in those big letters. And it scares me. I know what I have been through with LL and i am terrified to end up in the opposite position - eventually having to dumb some really sweet guy and break his heart. Still I do still feel there could be something more in this. I wish it was easier to get to know him without involving the kids and making it a family project, but that is really hard considering we always have kids. Either he has kids or I do. And it is just practically impossible to get to know eachother without introducing kids. So we both already met eachothers kids and on one hand it feels so natural and I really did enjoy meeting his boys - and seeing him be a father definately hit home with me. But on the other hand it complicates things. Makes it not just about us but about 5 other people too. 6 if you include his ex who appearently still believes she should be allowed to yell at him for introducing me to the kids. Sounds like she could be a potential problem down the road. Not one that scares me all that much at this point though as I have a similarly crazy ex that we will have to deal with so I guess one extra crazy person will just balance things out.. But still..

Rambling here.. overall I had a great weekend and actually miss his company now..

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#75 of 101 Old 02-15-2010, 12:47 PM
 
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Seie- Yes I am over my neighbour!! Yay! He really is not what I am looking for in a man, he's still very much a boy I think. I have learned from the experience though, which is good!
No I haven't met up with health inspector yet. It's been pretty much online comm. and one phone call. I kind of put the brakes on with him though because I was still waiting and hopeful with neighbour. Well no more!! So I'll release the brake and see where it goes! I think of my current prospects he might be the most stable and mature to take on all that my home life involves! He has no kids which is maybe a plus? Who knows!

Exchanged # with medic man this morning so we'll see where that goes! If nothing else he'd make a great friend!

I put my pof under friends instead of dating and wow I've gotten more contacts in the last day than the 6 weeks I had my profile up before! I'm hoping friends doesn't mean something I don't realize! Just last night I had 3 more guys contact me I'm loving this, although I don't think I want to jugle to many guys at once! Maybe narrow it down to a few solid contenders!
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#76 of 101 Old 02-15-2010, 12:56 PM
 
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Sugarmoon: Yay for ATG!!!

Seie: Just go with the flow and be honest... with yourself and him.

Momanderson: Nice prospects. A paramedic would be crazy cool to date, but I have a strong interest in all things medical. My xbf was a psychiatrist and I absolutely LOVED talking to him about neurobiology, psychopharmacology, etc. Love it, love it, love it!

Valentine's Day was great. Ordered myself some beautiful tulips. Ds and I went to the Jelly Belly Factory and to the outlet stores to pick him up some new pants for school. And, after months of searching for a purse (I am very particular about my purses)... I finally found one AND it was marked down from $120 to $50!!!!

As for me and dating... yeah, just not too interested in dating right now for a couple of reasons:

1. I was admitted to grad school last week. I cannot tell you how excited I am, as I am finally following my passion! Unfortunately, since then, I have been busy freaking out about how I am going to do it all: full-time mommy, full-time teacher, full-time grad student and everything else that comes with life as a solo mama.

2. Some X factors have been rearing their ugly heads lately. 'Kind of' reconnected with an xbf (the one before S) and it has been stirring some past feelings/reflections with both that relationship and the one with S. All of this is good, of course, as I feel like it is finally starting to uncover some issues I never dealt with and buried deep within, due to my history of jumping from one relationship to the next. But, at the same time, it has been a bit overwhelming and needing attention (and some tears).
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#77 of 101 Old 02-15-2010, 05:39 PM
 
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Holland- Yay for Gard school that is wonderful!! No advice on juggling life other than it will all work out!! I'm hoping to go back to school in the spring to and have the same fears of juggling it all!
And great score on the purse! I love a sale, especially on purses or shoes!
And yes a paramedic man in uniform oh my!! He's talked a little bit about the job, well what he did on his field placements. He writes his licensing exam this week and then will start working with our local service here! Although the health inspector's job is very interesting to me too! food borne illness, west nile, water quality! I'm going to try to set up a date with one of them this weekend!
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#78 of 101 Old 02-16-2010, 01:40 AM
 
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Sugarmoon: ATG sounds great. What a nice thing to do for you!
Seie: Yeah, put all those doubts on the back burner for now, and just go with it. Some things just need time to be answered.
Momanderson: Glad that switch was flipped! All those messeges seem like fun. Hopefully one of them breaks through for you.
Holland73: I LOVE that you got yourself tulips. I'm writing that down for next year. Or maybe just next week. Hooray for Grad School!!!!!! I'm a firm believer that solo mamas are the most ambitious group out there. You are going to rock it!

I
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#79 of 101 Old 02-17-2010, 11:47 AM
 
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Have a date with the health inspector this weekend! Well maybe more a meet him type thing than a proper date. Coffee or lunch, we'll see closer to the weekend.
I'd like to meet up with the paramedic guy this weekend too if I can. He's busy writing his exam today, hopefully I can talk with him tomorrow night. He said if I want to talk just text him and he'll call me right back, it's long distance and he has free long distance!
All the other guys fizzled out, but that's alright none of them really interested me anyway!
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#80 of 101 Old 02-21-2010, 08:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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See what happens when I stop dating?

Check out my blogs, ladies, when/if you ever miss me......
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#81 of 101 Old 02-21-2010, 04:07 PM
 
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Hah, Butterfly, I'd had that thought, as well, when I saw we'd fallen to the second page.

I'm waiting for an update from momanderson, on her date with the paramedic....

Things are just rolling along, pleasantly, for me with ATG, which is why I don't have a lot of updating to do.

to everyone!
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#82 of 101 Old 02-21-2010, 10:54 PM
 
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Well Sugarmoon not a lot to report!
Went for coffee with paramedic last night, it was ok. We were there a couple hours I'd say. We went to the same highschool, but he's a few years older than I am, so I don't really remember him. I'd say no real spark on my part. He's def. not 6'2" like his profile says! and he's over weight, which I don't find very attractive. It was nice to get out of the house but I don't see any real romantic potential in him.

I was also supposed to get together finally with the health inspector today. He didn't get back to me with a time or plans all week. Then he emails me yesterday morning saying he was going to visit his mom and would be back after noon today. Wanted me to send him my number again. I didn't! I don't like being the back up girl This afternoon I got an email after 3pm saying he's back and did I still want to do something this afternoon. Umm no thanks! Seriously? Why do guys seem to think us single gals are just sitting home all day hoping one of them calls to take us out? Like our time is of no value at all! I might be hormonal again but this just rubs me he wrong way! Make some flipping plans ahead of time! I get 24 hours kid free a week, it tends to get booked up in advance thank you very much!

So that's where its at! Back to the drawing board I think!

On a non dating note I am hopefully going to register for school this week! I want to get my PSW ( health care aide I think it is called in the US). It is 24 weeks and starts in May. I would be done and hopefully able to work and support us without having to rely on CS before the year is over
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#83 of 101 Old 02-22-2010, 07:55 AM
 
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Momanderson: Shame about both health inspector and paramedic guy Sounds like it's time for some new contenders?

Not much new here. I did spend the weekend with the Manager and not much new to report. I am still torn about the whole thing. Not sure what to tell really. He really seems like he thinks I am his girl and he is doing pretty much everything right. He calls me daily to chat. Wrote me the cutest valentines card, asks me out, plans our dates ahead, is interested in me and my kids. All that stuff. I already said all that. He is still great and I really do enjoy his company. I am scared by how fast this is going. I have expressed that several times and he keeps claiming that we are still just checking eachother out. But I guess I just have the feeling that he already checked me out and feels certain that I am for him. Pretty much the way I used to feel about LL. I knew already on our second date that he was my guy. I don't have that kind of certainty now and I am not sure how much time I should give it to allow those kinds of feelings to develop? I still feel there are many aspects of his personality I would like to explore more. For instance when he is with me he is just a big softie - but I know there are many more sides to his personality. I am as confused as ever, but at least we had a talk this weekend where I told him about all my doubts - even about it only being 3 months since LL broke up. So he does know where I am at, and he is still around. Scary! Anyway now we wont be seeing eachother for the next two weeks and our next date is a whole weekend without kids. Should hopefully bring more clarity?
Another part of me is telling me to just break it off before I end up hurting him more - and before getting the kids more involved than they already are. I don't know. I feel like a pretty horrible person - like I am leading him on somehow even though I guess I know eventually - at the end of the day - he is just not LL and he wont ever be and nomatter how hard I try, I wont have with him what I had with LL

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#84 of 101 Old 02-22-2010, 11:26 PM
 
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Quick newsflash here mamas for anyone that remembers me/my story..Chicago Guy/My Potential is booking his flight and coming out here to meet me for 4 days at the end of March! After 5 + months and hundreds of hrs of conversation, we finally meet! I'm a bundle of nerves!

LOL, i meant *Mr* Potential but maybe "My" is good too!
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#85 of 101 Old 02-23-2010, 06:15 AM
 
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I am tired so I am catching up on you ladies quickly..... I will fully respond soon but there were some things I could not wait to comment on.....

Congrats Holland!!!! Muse I am excited to hear an update now that Mr. Potential is booking his flight, how exciting for you two!!!!!

Momanderson sorry both guys did not pan out, I agree new contenders sound like a stellar option. Seie it sounds like things with the Manager are gliding along, how are you?

Butterfly I am happy to see you on here. Miss u.

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
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#86 of 101 Old 02-23-2010, 06:37 AM
 
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I myself am actively working toward maintaining a relaxed approach to dating the Artist (so Seie you are not the only one trying to chill out and not over think). Things between he and I are so rich and bring a wealth of happiness! I am quite smitten with him and love the way he treats me and how we interact together ~ everything is just so effortless!

I do still feel my insecurities creep up on occasion especially since we are not to the point of being exclusive (and I think we are both still dating other people), but in taking things slow I really feel like I'm allowing myself the opportunity to build a deep friendship....... in fact, possibly growing a best friend, which will be at the base of anything we become beyond that. In dating the Artist I have come to see that I truly want my future husband/boyfriend to be my best friend. I did not even think this was possible because I already have a male best friend but I am realizing there is room in my life for an even deeper friendship than that of myself and my childhood friend and it appear the Artist is trying to build toward that.

So we have been dating since November and still no political conversations but I'm still smitten...... boy does it feel good to know my feelings are not (yet) clouded by the physical. We will see where it leads but overall I am happy in the moment!

I am still conversing with the Agent and 2ndHusband an occasional dinner or lunch here or there but only because I care for them too! I know they are not right for me but I do still care and I like the attention, LOL!

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
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#87 of 101 Old 02-23-2010, 01:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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There's a Short Baldie who is treating me like gold these days. He's intelligent and sweet, and I love the stories he tells me from his travels through Africa......

There's a Kuwaiti (that's the way you describe someone from Kuwait, right?) sweetie (lives in London) who calls me often for a week now, who I met online, who wants me to fly in to have dinner with him on thursday. Let's see if it pans out.

There's a nerdy engineer dude who is taking me out to a very, very fancy restaurant tomorrow night who also has been really rollling out the red carpet treatment in terms of wooing me.

I don't feel any butterflies, or even baby butterflies with any of these guys, but I love the attention. Just passing the time while I wait for someone who takes my breath away.......
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#88 of 101 Old 02-23-2010, 07:03 PM
 
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Hi ladies.

muse, glad you two are finally going to meet.

Seie, things sound sweet. I hope you're not stressing about it too much. Just enjoy the man.

LoveOhm, sounds good! Good for you.

It's nice to see you posting, Butterflymom.

Nothing much to report here... not dating anyone. I took down my OKC profile because I was just tired of dealing with it. I made a mistake at a conference this passed weekend with an unavailable man I've known for years. Struggling a bit to let it go, but it can't happen again. Gah, so nice to feel intimate with someone you actually like... butterflies and all. Why it occurs with the wrong people is beyond me.
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#89 of 101 Old 02-23-2010, 08:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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mumblemama, I had an affair last summer with a married man that gave me those kinds of butterflies. I'm sorry it clicked with the wrong man. It sucks, I know.
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#90 of 101 Old 02-23-2010, 08:53 PM
 
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Thanks butterflymom... it's tempting, as bad as it sounds, but my willpower (since then) is holding steady thus far. I'll get over it in a couple days hopefully. Not only did I break one, but two rules, and now I've got to see him every couple weeks/months at industry events and conferences.
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