So who/where is your babies dad? - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-11-2010, 12:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not actually asking any of you this,but wondering what you may answer to strangers who may ask this. I might be pregnant and if I am I'll be doing it totally alone. The father was a brief boyfriend who has since moved out of town and married his x,the mother of his now 10 month old daughter. Or so that's what he told me his plan was last time we spoke a few weeks ago. He wasn't with her when we met,so he says. So if I am pregnant it isn't going to be an easy thing to answer strangers and I want to prepare myself.

I get tested tomorrow!!!
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Old 02-11-2010, 12:56 AM
 
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I just say their dad lives in CT and leave it at that.

Good luck, btw!
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Old 02-11-2010, 01:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by LotusBirthMama View Post
I just say their dad lives in CT and leave it at that.

Good luck, btw!
Only I saw he lives in MI. I'm very careful to stick to the facts and never say anything negatives about him, especially if ds is around or if it's possible it might get back to ds. (So I never say "the loser is in MI and hasn't seen ds in x amount of time and never calls to ask how he's doing and blah blah blah").

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 02-11-2010, 02:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well maybe I can say he's in Disneyland? That sounds like a fun place to be. lol

Yeah,if I am pregnant no matter how I feel about him I don't want to say negative things to anyone about him.
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Old 02-11-2010, 11:45 AM
 
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I actually got asked this by two police officers on two different occasions. (I guess its part of the small talk they have with you to make sure your not under the influence of anything) At any rate, I replied with, "thats a great question." He got what I was saying and left it at that.


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Old 02-11-2010, 12:05 PM
 
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I am just honest. We are divorced and he is stationed in Florida. He left me after he got home from Iraq when my DD was 1.

Honestly, it is no one's business. It is 2010, people are having babies in all sorts of unconventional ways, which to me are turning into the norm. There are all different types of families now, and they are all normal. As long as its a happy family then strangers should not care how it was formed/who is in a relationship with who.

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Old 02-11-2010, 12:15 PM
 
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I tell them that my son's bio father is in another province where he belongs and I leave it at that.

Krys(29) DP to Ad (32)
~Attachment, co-sleeping parents to CJ (10/08)~ Mama to an angel baby born at 25.5 weeks Sophie (01/10)

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Old 02-11-2010, 12:17 PM
 
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I say "In this city. He still sees her every day." because he does. Really it isn't anyone else's business! I did go through a phase of making replies up on the spot when we first split (i was feeling judged!). I would say "i'm a lesbian, she's a donor sperm baby" or "i took her from a pram outside the chemists" or "he's a politician and i'm afraid i can't talk about it".
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Old 02-11-2010, 11:41 PM
 
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I just say he's not involved and leave it at that, most people don't pry after that.

Seriously?
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Old 02-12-2010, 12:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Lastnight I thought of a good one....

He's in the FBI and I'm not sure where he is at the moment.

That or this one...

Sadly just before I told him I was pregnant he had to enter the witness protection program.

I just don't want people to be pushy and need answers for when and if they are.
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Old 02-12-2010, 12:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by missmich View Post
Lastnight I thought of a good one....

He's in the FBI and I'm not sure where he is at the moment.

That or this one...

Sadly just before I told him I was pregnant he had to enter the witness protection program.

I just don't want people to be pushy and need answers for when and if they are.
How about, "last time I saw him was on Americas Most Wanted, they'll let me know when they find him"

Seriously?
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Old 02-12-2010, 01:03 AM
 
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Wow, do people really ask that? It would never cross my mind to ask a pregnant woman that.

Anyway, I'd keep it short and sweet. Best wishes with everything!
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Old 02-12-2010, 01:10 AM
 
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Wow, do people really ask that? It would never cross my mind to ask a pregnant woman that.

Anyway, I'd keep it short and sweet. Best wishes with everything!
ugh, I got it all the time, I still get it a lot when I first meet people.

Seriously?
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Old 02-12-2010, 01:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well I just don't want strangers asking me that. I don't want to tell the story in any prenatal classes either. I'm hoping to get into one that is not for couples or maybe one for lesbians! lol I don't know. I mean I figure in a lesbian class (if they have them) that question may not be asked so much.

My name confuses many people and they assume that I'm married. See in BC where I was born my birth cert. has my first,middle and mothers maiden name. I haven't used that name since I was a teen,actually the last name I never really used. I use my middle name and fathers last name. ALL my ID has that name except that medical card. So in this province I must explain the name change and they do not respect it at all since it was not done totally legally on paper. They always assume I'm married and if I'm pregnant they will assume it even more.

It sucks and it must be done asap or my baby gets a name I hate as a last name. I don't speak to my mother b/c she is abusive,the name is French and people assume I must speak French (this is Quebec) and I can not spell the name (I have to think about it) and they say it differently and I can not hear it when they call me.
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Old 02-12-2010, 12:00 PM
 
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Wow, do people really ask that? It would never cross my mind to ask a pregnant woman that.

Anyway, I'd keep it short and sweet. Best wishes with everything!
ive never been asked while pregnant... they would see ds and ask


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