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#1 of 6 Old 02-11-2010, 01:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I utilize OKCupid. Although I don't normally believe that a women should initiate contact, I made an exception and messaged a guy(I had been getting frustrated with the uneducated losers who were contacting me) He is 29, a nursing student and single(claims he likes kids and has a teaching background). He messaged me back and we have been emailing for the last few days. He knows that I am 36, in the medical field (something in common!) and a single mother. I also have posted a full length body shot so that he can see that I am curvy.

Ok.....the last time I heard from him was Monday and he was online last night. It has been a long time since I have been in the dating world and I don't remember all of the rules. He obvio
usly is no longer interested. I was friendly and lightheartened with my messages.

Did he lose his nerve? Just lose interest? I don't know what I did wrong..the emails were fine....nothing too heavy or deep....sigh....
I have been divorced for several years and am lonely. I know I am a mother first but that doesn't take away the sadness I feel. When does it get better?
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#2 of 6 Old 02-11-2010, 02:32 PM
 
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I know, mama, the online dating scene can be brutal.
My best friend did a lot of online dating, and she said the key rule is not to get at all emotionally invested until after the second date. Even if you have a nice correspondence with someone, that doesn't mean you'll click in person, and even in the first date is pleasant, that doesn't mean both parties will want a second. You really sort of have to keep your emotions in check at the start of it.
Do you want someone here to take a look at your profile and see if we can make any suggestions?

Jen, journalist, policy wonk, and formerly a proud single mama to my sweet little man Cyrus, born at home Dec. 2007 . Now married to my Incredibly Nice Guy and new mama to baby Arthur.
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#3 of 6 Old 02-11-2010, 02:59 PM
 
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I've not gotten back to people, I was married so long and have so much other stuff going on that seems more real than the internet. Don't be worried and take it personally HUGS
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#4 of 6 Old 02-11-2010, 03:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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MamaJen-I sent you a copy of my profile
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#5 of 6 Old 02-11-2010, 03:34 PM
 
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Join the dating thread if you haven't. We all deal with disappointments in dating, online or not. And I agree, don't invest in someone you haven't met, you never, ever know what will come of it...

Sorry you are hurting. I'm a strong believer in finding our own happiness, without the need of dating or someone else. Dating should be fun. Not that I always listen to my own advice.

People are at different places in their lives, it doesn't mean it reflects badly on us or who we are, either.

Hang in there!
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#6 of 6 Old 02-11-2010, 06:22 PM
 
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It is difficult, when we feel like we're really connecting with someone and they just don't get back to us.

Heck, years ago, I dated a man for 3 months and he just decided he was done without contacting me!?!?!?!

It definitely stings when that happens, but the way I've helped myself feel better about it is by realizing that the earlier on we know it's not going to work with someone, the better. Whatever reason he felt it wasn't going to work for him...you're far better off knowing now than after more time and more connection.

Online dating is definitely not for the faint of heart...but there are good guys out there and some that will think you are amazing! Good luck.
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