I have been thinking of writing on here for months, but was not sure given the nature of my case.
I am devestated, as I was a single parent for two years. My ds father would come into town and visit, but mostly at my begging and provided I let him stay at my home. When I met someone new and would not let him reside at my house, he threatened me, called me evil, and tried to break up my relationship.
I have simplified a lot that occured, but it gives you an idea.
Then, when it was apparent that I was not going to come back to him as I was pregnant by my partner, he decides that he should go to court, and try to get FULL custody based on lies that he got his friends to back up, that I denied him the ability to see his son, which never happened. He also stripped me of my lawyer and requested a GAL while I was in the hospital giving birth to my premature ds (who's prematurity I am pretty sure was due to the stress of the situation).
He works long hours and travels long distances all the time. The judge was apparently buying his lies and awarded him 50/50 temporary custody. And I have been floored. I am a stay at home mom, I make my meals from organic foods, he is wheat and dairy free, I don't have a tv, I don't vaccinate, I am still breastfeeding him (he is 2 1/2 yrs old). It is a nightmare. His dad does not respect my opinion and uses every thing I tell him about my ds in court against me, like his restrictive diet.
I am struggling with the idea that I have to deal with this man who is also seemingly telling my son things because he comes home saying that he hates me, that it's all his fault, and at the same time is clingy and cuddly and says he doesn't want me to leave. He is extremely confused and is a very sensitive boy. I am at a loss to help him and help myself. I feel betrayed by a court system I felt would uphold the best for my child and it appears that is not so. My exs attorney actually asked me if I thought the reason he was acting out is because he didn't want to be with me.
I am in immense pain, and I have a beautiful 5 month old who needs me as well. I have all these dreams for my children and now I don't know how to make it happen.
I have tried to be compassionate and generous toward my ex, but it ends up backfiring and he twists it to be I am somehow taking things away from him or endangering my ds. I am at a loss with how to discuss anything with him. As an example, we live 3 1/2 hrs away from one another and he was ordered to meet me at my home. I offered to drive halfway because I was going to the town he was staying at anyway. He stated in court that he wasn't sure where I was living because I didn't want to meet at my house.
I don't know how to help my son and myself. I am at a loss. I may end up deleting this because even this may be used against me by my ex.
doula mama to my turtle love, with a who came when he wanted 9/12/09, 33w 5d, NICU strongman!.