I don't think it is just this easy -- or gender specific! OUR SYSTEM NEEDS A LOT OF CHANGE!
If you start listening to the other side of the coin with compassion and without accusing/assuming the guys being "evil" of "at fault" (which is often done). You hear and understand that PEOPLE can be flat out cruel.
I have a male friend that has custody of his children. His wife abandon them. He was divorced using abandonment laws. He got full custody with her not having any rights because she could not be found/refuse to come to court. He has been accused of abusing her and that must we why she left. When she decided to reappear she has caused him nothing but h*ll. She refuse to pay child support of $50 a month, until threaten with jail. She refuses to get a job. --he was told by the court to get over it he is a guy. She lives in a $500,000 with new husband. Because she was a snot and accused him of sexual abuse he could no longer bed share -- her daughter always question why dad would sleep on the floor right outside her door when ever she asked. Now that she 12 she understands what her mom did to cause them (him) grief. He almost lost custody because a judge presumed kids need their mom--especially daughters. At one point, these kids figured out that all this legal crap is why their dad had 2 job. They started visiting mom, having her buy them stuff then they would return it so they could have money for food...she could buy them an X-box while not paying $50. in child support.
There are many cases of men paying child support for kids that are not theirs. If a woman has an affair while married the husband is screwed.
There has been and are cases were because MOM thinks XYZ is dad he is listed and hunted down to pay child support and back well fare. Even when prove they are not dad they do not get any money (garnishment) back. I find that wrong, especially in cases were they can prove the mom purposefully was deceitful.
We have another friend (more friends with his sister). He found out when the child was 2 he was a dad. He was 1 of 3 possibilities. He was 18, not to bright, and potentially under the influence of alcohol (that she provided) at the time of conception. She was 21. He had no problems with child support. When he sued for visitation with a graduated schedule to slowly increase visitation she said never mind to the child support. She was angry that the judge said that is not how it works. She later lost custody because she refuse to allow (show up) for visitation.
My husband has a friend that found out when the child was 17 that it was his. He asked, she said no. His savior was he manage to still have the letter were she said so. She told him, "DC is not yours, so you don't need to worry about child support or visiting. There was no DNA at that point (I don't know if sperm donation existed). Even though she said it wasn't his at 17 years of age she wanted back child support and for him to pay for college. He paid for college, but manage not to have to pay back child support. This kid now has very little to do with his mom. The truth came out, his dad did want him she kept him away from him. He has been asked why? What he did wrong? Something has to be wrong with him, it can't be that she is selfish.
We know another father that gained custody of his children because mom decided in the middle of the summer to take the kids to Disney, during his count appointed time. He had very little flexibility on rescheduling were she had a lot her her trip to Disney.
We have friends that have custody because bio-mom dropped the 15 year old off at their house will nobody was home. She didn't have the key because bio-mom would use it to search their home and was arrested 3 times with trespassing and once for B&E.
I really can go on with these stories. These are people we know. People can be mean. When you hear women tell their stories please, please remember there are 2 parts to the story. Please remember their are many good dad's, like moms, that struggle and get screwed by the system. Then there are many lousy dads and moms.