I told DH yesterday that I wanted a divorce. This has been a long time coming. We've been together for almost six years, both have kids from previous relationships plus a 4yo together. We've had lots of issues- different ideas raising children, handling money, ect. We were both very committed to making things work, and I feel that those problems were all fixable. BUT he's gotten back into drugs... after a 12 year sobriety... he's been using again for about a year and a half. He told me about it last fall, said he wanted to quit, he was GOING to quit... I thought, okay wow, this sucks but let's get through it! He stayed sober a very short time and then started using again. He left (my idea) for just a week, we seriously talked about splitting up, but I believed him and said give it ONE more try. Well, yesterday, he confessed to me that he's been doing it again.
My first husband was an alcholic, so I understand the whole addiction thing (as well as any non-addict can, I guess) It's a deal breaker for me. DH knows how I feel. He knew what I would do. He keeps saying he's sorry, he doesn't want to leave, he doesn't want to lose me, but... That's it. It's over. I'm done.
In my mind I've been playing this out for several months now, mostly just coming to terms with it mentally. I'm grieving the loss of a dream. I never thought I'd be a single mother again. I never wanted to be. I've been a SAHM since 4yo DS was born and I loved every minute of it. I'm not happy about having to put him in daycare and rejoin the workforce. I don't even know where to start! What am I supposed to do?
How do I tell my 4yo? He loves his daddy tremendously. DH is not a bad person... just not a person I can be with anymore. What do you say to a 4yo?
I guess I'm just looking for support here... encouragement, advice, just a hug. Assure me that I'm doing the right thing and it'll be okay. TIA