transitioning from SAHM-ing - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 03-31-2010, 06:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mama_Meme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have been a SAHM since my DD was born (she's now 2.5) and I've been totally financially dependent on my ex. He makes quite good money so I've gotten a little used to budgeting with a higher income.
Now, I am looking at being on social assistance as I haven't worked in over 3 years, and am just NOT ready to get out there and work. However, it's a pittance and I need more if I'm going to be able to live on my own. My ex has said that he will help me for a little bit (we are, luckily, on really good terms), but I have to get it together in the next few months to be supporting myself and my daughter...
I don't know the first thing, anymore, about the workforce. I don't have any education beyond high school and really, there's nothing else I want to be doing other than raising my child.... I feel so bonded to her and I can't imagine being without her, much less having her in daycare/pre-school etc. I wanted to homeschool and be a stay-at-home mom until she was old....

Now, how do I transition out of that? I have some ideas of little side projects that I can do, while still being home with her, but I don't think that will generate enough income to competely support us.

Anyone else who used to be a SAHM? How did you do it? A part of me is so tempted to get back into the loveless relationship just for the money... OI!
Mama_Meme is offline  
#2 of 5 Old 03-31-2010, 07:10 PM
 
FiveLittleMonkeys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 367
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is your ex forgetting that he'll be paying child support? Are you not asking for spousal support? If you have been home for your marriage and have no skills, I would ask for spousal support, at least for what is called "Rehabilitative spousal support" - which is for a finite period of time (usually while you go to school).

Talk to your attorney.

And I'm sorry....I'm having to give up staying at home with my kids too. I think that is what is the most devastating about all of this.

FiveLittleMonkeys is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 03-31-2010, 10:50 PM
 
meandmine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 944
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, he needs to provide child support and spousal support. Here the ss depends on how many years you have been married. In my state it is generally 1/2 as many years as you have been married.

Mine paid SS until I got a job (about a year).

It breaks my heart, too, to have made all these changes in my children's lives. It was the main reason I stayed in the marriage.

We are surviving. My children are doing well. Life would be less stressful if I didn't work and commute, but we are ok.

Transition slowly; maybe work pt. See if additional schooling would reap the benefit of higher pay.

Hugs to you!

M
meandmine is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 04-01-2010, 01:47 AM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,751
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)
by far that was the hardest thing i did. putting dd in dc. it was really hard on her. but as i shared with her, i had no choice. and she understood that. she told me even though she knows she has to be in dc she is sad that she cant be with mommy.

you put one foot in front of the other and do the best you can within your circumstances.

 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 04-01-2010, 03:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mama_Meme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the support all. I will look into how much spousal support I should be getting. We're trying to do this without too much legal intervention, as we both think this will be less stressful.

One foot in front of the other seems the way to go. Hopefully I will be able to avoid much child care....
Mama_Meme is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off