Horrible, awful, terrible dilemma. - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 42 Old 04-07-2010, 04:36 AM
 
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#32 of 42 Old 04-07-2010, 05:17 AM
 
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I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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#33 of 42 Old 04-07-2010, 06:23 AM
 
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I saw this in new posts - I'm not a single parent but I hope it's okay for me to come in and offer my support. Huge hugs.
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#34 of 42 Old 04-07-2010, 10:26 AM
 
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Just another I hope you're doing ok today and that you're safe.
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#35 of 42 Old 04-09-2010, 11:23 AM
 
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wow. just. . . . . wow. I am so sorry. I know this would break my heart. I am pro-choice as well but for myself personally I could never be anything but pro-life. And to be honest, I think this would just break my heart to make this decision. But I think you've already made it. I think you are mostly looking for someone to say it's okay. Yes? I do know that we don't know each other but I personally wouldn't judge you. I think you've already made the logical choice that you know will work for you. And I don't know what I would do in that situation but I know that your reasons sound logical and right even if they are still heartbreaking. I wish you peace in whatever you choose. We are never given more than we can handle. I know you can do this, whichever road you take. I just couldn't read and not respond.

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#36 of 42 Old 04-09-2010, 08:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So today I went to the clinic. They sent me home without an abortion because they said I was "too conflicted". They told me to come back in a week. Right, because in a week I won't be conflicted anymore.


mama of DS(3) & DD(2)
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#37 of 42 Old 04-09-2010, 09:22 PM
 
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Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
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#38 of 42 Old 04-09-2010, 10:21 PM
 
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S~ Peace loving, natural living, FuNkY vegan mama to Keiran bouncy.gif 23/Dec/06:
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" ~~ MLK
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#39 of 42 Old 04-10-2010, 01:10 PM
 
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Well, if you are conflicted then you really are going to have to fully come to terms with what you truly want and need. Resentment and trauma from an abortion can physically and emotionally lead to more issues. Do you have a therapist or a good friend that you can sit down with and really come to terms with what you need to do? I know for me my pregnancy was really traumatic for me but i couldn't bring myself to abort. I found a really amazing midwife who had also been left while pregnant and she gave me so much strong support throughout my entire pregnancy/labor/postpartum that it got me through it all in good shape. Building a group of strong women was the one way that i got empowered in my decision to keep the baby and be a single parent. So perhaps you have a strong soul in your life that can help you with making the decision you need to make so that you can be empowered in whatever choice you do make.
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#40 of 42 Old 04-16-2010, 01:05 AM
 
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i'm sorry.

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#41 of 42 Old 04-16-2010, 01:16 AM
 
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#42 of 42 Old 04-16-2010, 02:05 AM
 
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I'm really sorry, Honey-Lilac. What a terrible decision to have to make. From your posts, it seems that you are quite thoughtful so I don't know if what I am writing is going to add anything that you haven't thought of already. I do have some thoughts on grief and regret that I'd like to share. Regret doesn't always mean that you wouldn't do the same thing again, it also can mean that you wish things/situations could be different so you could make a different choice. Does that make sense? You've not written a lot about it and I don't want to presume to know but your feelings about having an abortion seem to fall into the latter camp: you want the situation to be different so that you could make a different choice. That part of regret has a lot in common with grief. Grief hurts and can rip your heart out but you can come through it, too.

I wish you and your family the best.
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