Best way to tell your children about parents seperating - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 04-23-2010, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am looking for advice or word of wisdom from others about how to best tell my children that thei mom and dad are seperating or not living together anymore. What should we say or not say in order for them to feel most secure.

My husband has been out of the house for almost a month now, seeing our children twice a week in our home. The kids are almost 7 and 4. They really don't ask where he is or anything, which I think is odd but I chalk it up to them having the security of my presence.

Whaddya got ladies?

Shelly DeMeo Birth Doula/Educator, Massage Therapist, Birth Assistant, Echo Tech, Future CPM! Mom to Dylan (6/03) and Sage Aria (1/06).
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#2 of 4 Old 04-24-2010, 12:01 AM
 
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My policy has always been to speak the truth, but in a simplified, accountable and age-appropriate way. When they ask questions, I make sure I only answer what they've asked. As the kids have gotten older, they've asked deeper questions as they can handle it. We've always had very open and upfront conversations, so they are quite comfortable asking anything.

I wasn't clear from your post if your ex left and no one's talked about it at all in this past month or if you did talk to the kids before he left and now you are wanting to tell the kids it's going to be more permanent.
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#3 of 4 Old 04-25-2010, 03:36 AM
 
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When I was in the middle of my divorce, my ex and I were required to take a co-parenting class. They gave us a really helpful book for explaining to our son what was going on. You may want to try it. "It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear" I think Amazon.com has it.
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#4 of 4 Old 04-25-2010, 03:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your replies... theat book looks like a good one and our main library has it

There has not been any talk to the kids yet... but just today for the first time our almost 7 year old asked when Dad was coming home.

Shelly DeMeo Birth Doula/Educator, Massage Therapist, Birth Assistant, Echo Tech, Future CPM! Mom to Dylan (6/03) and Sage Aria (1/06).
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