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#1 of 10 Old 05-06-2010, 12:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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not that i ever wanted to join, but here i am

after going through lots recently, miscarriage, high risk pg with 3m of bedrest, dh gets a job transfer several states away, we just got settled and now 2m after we closed on our home i find out husband has hooked up with his reciptionist, from the day he arrived (i stayed back in our old place for 20 days as dd2 was 1 w old and i was trying to get the house ready to sell)

still in shock, truly thought his new job had the same long hours his old one did.

so now i'm in a new state, with a new baby, 9yr dd and a cheating man.

still trying to get an attorney, but have kicked dh out. sadly, the gal was also married and dh is wanting to use "our" dream home as his love shack.

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
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#2 of 10 Old 05-06-2010, 02:44 PM
 
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ugh, I am so sorry you are going through this right now! It will get better, though....with time.... sending you hugs from afar!
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#3 of 10 Old 05-06-2010, 03:35 PM
 
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i'm sorry he's making such poor decisions. what was he thinking? and how on earth can he ask that he be allowed to stay in the house with this other woman? he hasn't got his head on straight. you and your girls belong in the family home right now. stand your ground.

have you met anyone in your new town? through dd1's school maybe, or fyt, or a mom and baby group? even if you don't end up staying there, it would be nice to have some irl support, in the mean time.

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#4 of 10 Old 05-06-2010, 03:51 PM
 
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If I were you I would file for divorce in your previous location. Usually you can file for divorce in your old location as long as you haven't been in the new location for more than 6 months or so. Is your house there still on the market? Perhaps you could take it off the market and move back there with your kids.
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#5 of 10 Old 05-06-2010, 05:33 PM
 
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I like Nola's suggestion.

I'm sorry you are in this situation. I hope that whatever you choose to do works out well. It will get better in time.
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#6 of 10 Old 05-06-2010, 06:38 PM
 
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I'm so sorry that he's doing this to your family. It stinks mama, hang in there.

Mama to one 2 yr. old tornado banana.gif
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#7 of 10 Old 05-07-2010, 10:57 AM
 
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My cheating ex lives in our marital house with her and her three kids .. I feel for ya... It may seem impossible now ~ but you'll find a way.
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#8 of 10 Old 05-07-2010, 01:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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told him he couldn't stay at the family home, he wasn't happy, but did leave.

the state we left has a 90 residency requirement before filing, so i can't go back. just have to wait it out here. since ex came down a month early, it's only 3m to go.
one attorney said we can do the paperwork and decide everything now, just can't be legally binding till then

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
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#9 of 10 Old 05-07-2010, 05:59 PM
 
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Why wouldn't you still be a resident of the other state, you haven't lived in the new one for 90 days yet? Did they tell you otherwise? is your name on the mortgage tying you to the new state?
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#10 of 10 Old 05-08-2010, 12:27 PM
 
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i am sorry. do whatever you have to do to begin the healing process and check your state laws as to where to file, but i would think that since you are there and have established residency, you will probably need to file there. i am truly sorry, mama.

Former dreads.gifwearing, treehugger.gifing, pole dancing, read.gifpushing, ribbonpurple.gifsurvivor & single mama extraordinaire to energy.gif.  

Now that's a mouthful!!! computergeek2.gif & follow it!   

 

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