Give add'l time because ex going on vacation? - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-09-2010, 08:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wondering...This is his second trip this year and he wants extra time. His hours are 12-4 one day and 1-5 another; eight hours a week. The kids are in FT day care which I pay tons for and - honestly don't feel like paying for time they are not there sice Dad is taking a trip out of the country for a wedding. The last trip was Disneyland with GF and her kid and my poor girls are still asking when we are going. I am a fair co-parent and we normally don' have disagreements; I just am frustrated and feel like I am sick of him calling the shots for his convenience without thoughts of his kids. Thoughts?
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Old 05-09-2010, 05:17 PM
 
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for me it would depend on what kind of 'more time' he was talking about. If he wants them during a time you would be paying for daycare - just ask him to pay for the hours missing. I hear ya on the convience of parenting... while I was married I always said to my absent husband "you dont just get to pick and choose when you want to parent".. he sure as heck proved me wrong
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Old 05-09-2010, 06:58 PM
 
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For sure, I hear you on the Disneyland dad phenomenon. It's frustrating to feel like you do all the grunt work while he gets to be fun dad when it's convenient.
But I think in this case, I would let him have the extra time with the kids. If it's a choice between being in day care or making up time they had missed while his dad was out of town, I would definitely give them the time with their dad (providing that he's good to them, this is assuming he's not abusive or something). The kids are really the ones that would lose out if you refused him. They deserve to have a relationship with him. Also, going to a wedding is a pretty legitimate thing, not like he was on a gambling trip or something.

Jen, journalist, policy wonk, and formerly a proud single mama to my sweet little man Cyrus, born at home Dec. 2007 . Now married to my Incredibly Nice Guy and new mama to baby Arthur.
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