Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Sleep Deprivation, USA
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The family, phony and contrived as it was, because that reality took me years to build and I razed it to the ground in just a few months time.
Big huge hugs to you. First and foremost. My heart hurts for you.
Now, go back and read what you wrote, paying close attention to the bolded. I could have written this myself. Phony and contrived simply is NOT reality. It's just... not. No matter how hard we try to make it so, it simply isn't.
You now have an opportunity. One that will likely take you some time to adjust to, mostly because ALL major life changes take some time to adjust to. But your opportunity is to build a life that is AUTHENTIC. REAL. GOOD. RIGHT.
In your darkest moments, never, ever forget what you left behind. Something fake and contrived. So you can now build something good. Yes, it will be different. That's GOOD. Yes, it will be hard. But won't it be worth it?
Drink your cheap wine. Cry if you need to. You've lost something, and even if it's an overall good thing you've made the choices you've made, it's still difficult to let go. To embrace something new and different, especially when new and different doesn't come with any guarantees.
Hang in there.
Proud Single Mama, Birth & Postpartum Doula
Student, Aspiring CNM
DD ~ 1/7/09 DS ~ 9/22/10
Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com
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