Ex put 11 mo. old in front seat against my wishes - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-31-2010, 08:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel so sick to my stomach. I don't know what to do or if this is even the right place to post this.

My soon to be ex has a pickup truck and is constantly asking me to borrow my car so he can bring DS to parties (where I am sure there is drinking). He asked me today and I said no, I need my car and I am trapped here without it. I need to do work and run errands that are easier w/o a baby.

Well, he kept threatening me saying if I didn't let him borrow it he would just get his own car seat and put it in the pickup truck in the front seat.

I repeatedly told him no, that even though it's not illegal (it should be) it's not safe and not recommended. He just kept threatening it, which makes me feel sick itself cause he's using our baby's safety to seemingly "get back" at me.

Help! Anything. I don't know what to do. We have court orders saying we have to co-parent and agree on things for the welfare and safety of the child and he is not complying.

Elijah Mercury (7/2009), TTC #2 with my new soon to be DH! Tattooed, 29 year old cancer survivor! treehugger.gif

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Old 06-01-2010, 12:12 AM
 
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If it's not illegal than you don't really have much to stand on. Trust me, I'm a stickler for carseat safety and I would be PISSED in your position. But you can't expect him to never take the kid anywhere, right? And it's not illegal to put the carseat in the front seat (grrr.... wish it were sometimes!). Are there airbags? Can he turn the passenger airbag off?

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 06-01-2010, 02:17 AM
 
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I'm afraid it's not illegal, so I don't know that you can really force him to not do it. I would certainly ask him to make sure the front airbag is deactivated, and of course the car seat needs to be rear facing.
There are a lot of families have a pick up truck as their only vehicle. I don't see the state outlawing babies or children in single row pickups anytime soon.

Jen, journalist, policy wonk, and formerly a proud single mama to my sweet little man Cyrus, born at home Dec. 2007 . Now married to my Incredibly Nice Guy and new mama to baby Arthur.
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Old 06-01-2010, 02:32 AM
 
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when he asks to borrow your car, can you two "switch" cars so that you have use of his pickup truck while he is toting your child around in the safety of your car seat? that way you can still get your errands done.

the bringing the child to drinking parties is another matter. if this is what's happening, i would make sure he stays sober, and if he doesn't find out what you can do about that legally speaking.

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Old 06-01-2010, 06:31 AM
 
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It mseems like he wanted your DC to be safer in your car, but you didn´t let him borrow it. I can completely understand that, espcecially since you said he was going to be drinking. He doesn´t really have a choice: it´s either front seat in his pick up, or borrow your car. Try to look at it from his point of view, he wants to see his DC and only has a pick up truck. If both of you are unwilling to trade vehicles when he takes your DC, then at the very least make sure he gets the front passanger airbag deactivated. If the airbag were to deploy, it could potentially kill an 11 month old in the front seat.
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Old 06-01-2010, 02:43 PM
 
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i am sorry about having to deal with a situation like this. if it is illegal in your state, i would document it and bring it to the authorities or protective services. i second the deactivitation of the airbag. how disturbing...

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Old 06-01-2010, 02:48 PM
 
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that really sucks but i'm also wondering about swapping cars so you'd still have transportation. maybe it's a stick and you don't know how to drive it, or something . . . idk. but if you can drive his truck, it seems like an okay option to trade.
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Old 06-01-2010, 02:53 PM
 
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if the truck has no airbag then putting the car seat in the front REAR FACING is just as safe as putting it anywhere else in a car.

  

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Old 06-01-2010, 02:56 PM
 
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I think the bigger issue here might be that he is drinking and driving with your daughter in the car! Is there any way that you can document this? A witness from the party? Calling the cops to report it? Anything? This could seriously help your custody situation.
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