Working? School? any SAHM's?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 06-09-2010, 02:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Trying not to recreate the wheel here...

I've been an at home mom, I've homeschooled some, and now am a single mom trying to navigate this new lifestyle without losing the bigger pieces of my hopes and dreams.

I'm sure you've heard it all before... I want to fight the status quo... Does being a single mom mean I have to work full time or more? Does it mean home schooling is no longer viable?

Or maybe the better question, how do you make ends meet? What is possible? Does anyone have any great ideas about earning a living with a kid-friendly schedule?
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#2 of 13 Old 06-09-2010, 04:22 PM
 
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I work FT outside the home, and currently live with my parents to save up enough money to move out on my own and be able to repay a large chunk of the debt I accumulated while married to XH. I'm very unhappy with the way my life is organized and am currently searching for a different career path because the 9 to 5 groove is just...soul sucking. I'm thinking about dusting off my teaching degree and hopefully to find a full-time teaching job, which, in a few years, should give me more free time with DD and summers off by the time she's of school age. Aside from that, I really don't have that magic solution...
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#3 of 13 Old 06-09-2010, 06:00 PM
 
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I'm a single SAHM. I receive a small income through a legal settlement. I am still considered as below poverty level. But I have a Sec8 voucher so my rent is affordable, I live frugally and it allows me to stay home with my toddler. I know there are a few of us who are single sahms. Each situation is a bit different though. I know there are also some single wahms. Do you have a skill that you could use to let you wah? If it weren't for this settlement, I'd have to woh/wah. So it's been a blessing in disguise really.
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#4 of 13 Old 06-09-2010, 06:26 PM
 
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Go to school, make your own class schedule, and live off your financial aid. That`s what I do. My DD still has to go to daycare, but not for a full day. And she loves getting play time with her little friends.
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#5 of 13 Old 06-09-2010, 08:43 PM
 
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I've been a stay home mom the entire time I've been a single parent (9 years). I went to school in that time and recently I have been working to build my career and continue to be at home. So far, so good.

I have a few extenutating circumstances though. I was very secure and set up well financially BEFORE the marriage and got more solid financially during our marriage. I live in a country where we are given government funds to help aid low income families with children and I am given money to homeschool. All of these things have helped me immensely.

I did online school for a long time when the kids were quite little, then I went to school part-time and my mom helped with the kids. I did receive financial assistance for school and that helped too.

I know Dar has been a very resourceful single, homeschooling mama for many, many years. If you search old posts by Dar, you may be inspired by her.
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#6 of 13 Old 06-10-2010, 12:24 AM
 
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I've only been single for a month. I was a sahm and I plan to continue until dc start school. we are living with my parents right now. I am making no plans for my own housing until I know if and what child support will be. I plan on cleaning a few houses and applying for food stamps and possibly tanf/welfare. I went in with some friends on a flea market booth, selling vintage and handmade items. I plan on doing local craft shows as well.

I feel extremely fortunate in that my parents value my desire to sah as much as I do. They have invited us to stay here indefinately and we all get along.

 Single mama to two wild and sweet toddlers 2/08
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#7 of 13 Old 06-10-2010, 05:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot View Post
I've been a stay home mom the entire time I've been a single parent (9 years). I went to school in that time and recently I have been working to build my career and continue to be at home. So far, so good.

I have a few extenutating circumstances though. I was very secure and set up well financially BEFORE the marriage and got more solid financially during our marriage. I live in a country where we are given government funds to help aid low income families with children and I am given money to homeschool. All of these things have helped me immensely.

I did online school for a long time when the kids were quite little, then I went to school part-time and my mom helped with the kids. I did receive financial assistance for school and that helped too.

I know Dar has been a very resourceful single, homeschooling mama for many, many years. If you search old posts by Dar, you may be inspired by her.


Where do you live Mama? Funds to homeschool? Wow.....sounds like a greta place to live!
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#8 of 13 Old 06-10-2010, 07:02 AM
 
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When I was a single mom I was in school full-time and lived off financial aid. It had its benefits and drawbacks: fairly flexible hours, but money was tight and I often had to stay up late into night to get schoolwork done that I couldn't get to earlier. I was tired the entire time, but it was worth it.

I don't know how old your child or children are, but if they're school-age this becomes even easier. Campuses also often have on-site, inexpensive daycare options, but we were never able to take advantage of this due to the massive waitlist (she was finally offered a place about a term before I graduated).
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#9 of 13 Old 06-10-2010, 08:31 AM
 
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It is rough no matter how you slice it.

I have two kids, and I work full time and go to school full time and we're way below the poverty level. I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel and remind myself that within a year, I'll be finished with school and have better job opportunities (hopefully the economy will pick up a bit by then).

If you have family and friends who offer to help, take them up on it. I don't really have a support system, so things are pretty stressful.

Day care for my youngest is by far my biggest expense. I'm waiting anxiously for the Voluntary Pre-K program to kick in in the fall, because it will cut that in half. It will be even more of a relief next year when he's old enough to go to school with his big brother.

I will have a huge amount of student loan debt when I finish and while I want to get the degree, I regret having taken out so much in financial aid. If I could do it again, I would probably have either stopped at the MA level or gotten a degree/certificate in something practical rather than literature.

It is tough, but we can do it. Your child looks to you for nurturing and love, but also as an example of how to live life. That's why I try to keep my chin up and keep tackling things to reach my goal.
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#10 of 13 Old 06-10-2010, 02:24 PM
 
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I'm a teacher and once my dd started school it has been a breeze in terms of working and being a single parent. Highly recommended.
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#11 of 13 Old 06-10-2010, 03:40 PM
 
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I don't have the most exciting job in the world, but the benefits are good. I work at a university, in a very family-friendly department, so everyone completely understands when there are times you have to come in late, leave early, or otherwise need to be flexible with your schedule due to kids.

I'm working full-time right now, but I've considered going 3/4 time in the past and it has been fully supported. Plus, we get a lot of time off...no full summers, but we're off for every major holiday, including 2 weeks at Christmas. Also, generous personal leave and medical leave.

Mama to DS (5)

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#12 of 13 Old 06-10-2010, 10:59 PM
 
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I am currently living with my parenst so I have been able to homeschool and work from home watching some kids after school for the last six months. It hasn't been an ideal situation. If I could just stay home with my dd I would, but that isn't reality because we need to eat. Watching other kids in my home was very stressful. I couldn't be picky about the kids I watched because I needed the money and the kids I watched were very difficult kids. I came out of three days a week watching kids more drained than I was when I was working and going to school full-time. I am very excited to be back in the workforce because it is something I am used to. I can't wait to come home from work to only my child like I did before. I am also eager to be in our own home again so it is just my child I am coming home to and not the rest of my family every day.

Whatever you choose to do I am sure that it will work out. I think it is important not to beat yourself up or talk badly about the choice you find yourself needing to make whether you are able to stay at home and not work or whether you need to work full-time out of the house. Many moms make staying at home work for them and their children and many make working full-time work.
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#13 of 13 Old 06-15-2010, 09:04 AM
 
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I am a possibly soon to be single mom. While with DD's father for extra income as a stay at home mom, I took on cleaning jobs and nanny jobs (in home or at their home) so I could work with DD. I plan to continue this and to work out a schedule where I can work some nights and weekends while her father watches her.
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