Please tell me I'm not the only single mom on the planet with a 2 year old, 4 year old, and losing it. I don't even have a job yet (maybe that's the problem). I went from stay-at-home-mom to single mom a few months ago and I'm not handling it well.
My 4 year old keeps me up to 9 or 10 with her "spirited" behavior and my almost 2 year old is waking me at 4am (sometimes wakes in the night but not long, 4am is a long waking and I can't get back to sleep afterwards). So, obviously sleep deprivation is one issue.
Another is lack of support. I have no family here or really friends. Two acquaintances that have been very kind is all. So, I'm doing everything and trying to find childcare has been challenging to say the least. I was initially advised to stay close to daddy, but I'm rethinking that one... and just applied for a position closer to my mom, but even she can't really help. The only one that could help is my sister who lives out-of-state and I don't know if I could live where she does... feeling like I may have to go that way, but I don't know. I feel lost.
I know I may have taken on too much with an online course I'm teaching... not considering it a job because it actually COSTING me money to do when I factor in the gas and childcare costs... I'm dropping DD off at school, then driving to the other side of town for an hourly drop in center for DS and working at Starbucks. Then, try to get DS, go home and he naps, then drive again to pick up DD at 2pm and then take DD again across town to swim lessons (given as a birthday present by her aunt so have to use it up).
Then, I'm trying to get my kids in at the local child guidance clinic since DD is so hard for me to handle these days.... and I swear I never, ever, wanted to spank and here I am all of a sudden not able to handle her anymore without spanking or offering it as a consequence because I'm too tired and too uncreative now to think of any other consequences. It just goes against my soul to spank and I can't stand seeing my kids hitting and knowing it's because I've taught them to (well, maybe daddy was first at this and then DD and then I gave in and did it too). What's worse is I'm in the mental health field and filled with shame because I could teach a parenting class and can't stand what I'm doing with my own children!!!
If anyone is out there and relates at all, please let me know! Thank you!