July Dating Thread- Let the fireworks begin! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 47 Old 06-28-2010, 10:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Where is it?
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#2 of 47 Old 06-28-2010, 11:33 PM
 
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We're all waiting for you to start one

Single mama to a 5yo and 8yo

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#3 of 47 Old 06-28-2010, 11:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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are you serious? no june? might as well wait for the July fireworks then! I've recently broken up with my wonderful longtime sweetheart, which is really sad, and I'm putting a toe back in the dating world. How's swimming guy??
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#4 of 47 Old 06-29-2010, 06:50 AM
 
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Swimming guy and I have just celebrated our one year 'anniversary' of knowing one another. He gave me a nice silver bracelet.

I haven't really been on the 'dating' scene at all. I don't know what has happened to all the other gals here, though I bet if a July dating thread was started we'd hear some updates!! (Hint Hint!!)

Zeta, I am sorry to hear you broke up with your wonderful longtime sweetheart. I hope you will find a nice caring partner

Single mama to a 5yo and 8yo

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#5 of 47 Old 06-29-2010, 11:19 AM
 
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Well, I'm still here making an effort and coming up short. I had two dates last month, both of which went no where. I met them both online. One seemed like a very nice guy, excellent manners, reasonably nice looking, but talked about money the entire. time. As in, "I went to a wedding 18 years ago that cost XX/plate," "When I redid my bathroom 5 years ago, I got 3 plumbing estimates that ranged from $XXX-$XXX, which is outrageous," "My brother paid $XXXX for his condo in 2002, he pays $XXX for the monthly hurricane insurance" and so on and so forth. Such a shame, because he had a lot of other stuff going for him, but I was thinking, if I had to listen to this everyday, I'd off myself.

The next guy seemed promising, but I wasn't too keen on his suggestion for a first date. 9 o'clock on a Wed night at a bar/grill, that is really only men watching sports at that day & time. I had suggested a nicer place, but he didn't know it, so wanted this place. Well, he was late, so I left. I didn't wait long, but hey, I REALLY didn't like waiting there alone. There were NO other women. I looked like I was trying to pick someone up, and men were approaching me. He saw me driving away and emailed me. I agreed to try again. We went to a different place. He was at least on time. But then, it turns out he's getting divorced, not already divorced, as his profile had said. He complained bitterly about his wife for quite a while, and then acted bored the rest of the time - watching the ball game over my shoulder, and I saw him checking his watch. After I finished my glass of wine, I said I had to get home b/c my babysitter was going out. Thanks but no thanks buddy.

So, that's been it. I went to a party and was introduced to a guy who seemed really nice, but he's a youth minister, who wants to become a priest after getting married, and I don't know if I'm up for that at this point. A few of my friends have some other thoughts, but I haven't met any of them yet. We'll see!
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#6 of 47 Old 06-29-2010, 11:58 AM
 
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Well, my "dating" life can be summed up to one word: Saxman.

We've been dating each other since March and it's gone wonderfully (I was *about* to say "swimmingly" but then thought of HollyCran's man and decided not to ). We've gone to a wedding together, to the Jazz Festival together, he spents time at home with me and DD, and is always ready with a massage, cleaning up/dishes and of course, some jazz music, after I put DD to bed. I went to his album launch recently and got drilled by one of his family friends (i.e. "What are your intentions with regards to Saxman??"). Hehe, I almost answered something lewd but then thought better of it.

So it's rather quiet on this front for me since I'm only seeing Saxman.
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#7 of 47 Old 06-29-2010, 12:53 PM
 
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Hope it is okay if I crash your thread lol. I love living vicariously through all of you that are dating. Hopefully one day I can join this thread for real and have my own interesting dating stories to tell. You ladies give me hope.

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#8 of 47 Old 06-29-2010, 06:19 PM
 
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removing for privacy
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#9 of 47 Old 07-02-2010, 06:24 PM
 
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Well, I just wandered back onto match, and lo and behold, there seem to be some MUCH more appealing options! Not sure why, because I've been there for nearly 9 months, but I've gotten a few winks and messages from some interesting prospects! Exciting. Hopefully I'll have a date later next week. Right now I'm enjoying a beach getaway with the kids & my family for July 4th!
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#10 of 47 Old 07-03-2010, 01:54 PM
 
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Hi everyone. After a disappointing end to a fling a few weeks ago, things are looking much more promising. I met a lovely guy at a camping holiday 10 days ago and we have been in contact since then, and are meeting up in a week (He lives about 2 hours away by train). I'm determined to take things more slowly than I have done in the past, and to my relief he feels the same, although we are both obviously very interested in each other. I'm also still on a dating site and have been getting some promising -looking guys interested on there, but no dates as yet. Had a very disappointing date a couple weeks ago with a guy I gelled with well on email, but turned out still to be living with his ex wife and planning to continue doing that for 6 years! What!! Needless to say I told him where to get off (gently). I'm quite excited about this new phase. My ex is still interjecting his stuff all the time though, wanting to get back with me, but he's slowly starting to accept this is not going to happen.
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#11 of 47 Old 07-05-2010, 03:58 PM
 
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........I really vanished! sorry!

No news here. I guess I'm meant to be single forever!
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#12 of 47 Old 07-05-2010, 10:25 PM
 
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I actually went on my first 'date' post-divorce. My two year old threw up all over me about 2 minutes before he got there. Luckily my parents were watching the kids and were ok with me going still. He walked in and I ran for the door - cause my babe is never sick for just one night.. had a good time - dinner and chatting. Met him at a local summer festival and gave him my real phone number But really I see no future - when I asked him what makes him happy he said : his motorcycle (that one was ok) his kids (great) and hunting (I'm a life long vegetarian as are my kids)... just not enough in common I'm afraid. Ah well ~ its a good start to my dating with children life...
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#13 of 47 Old 07-06-2010, 04:01 PM
 
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I haven't been dating, broken hearted from my last relationship. Not sure I've ever let it get to me like this, but it sucks. May start dating again once I finish moving... but ugh, so tired of the online dating. I wish someone would just ask me out.

momanderson, glad to hear things are working out again with paramedic.

and good luck to all.
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#14 of 47 Old 07-06-2010, 07:39 PM
 
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I'm around. I actually have several irons in the fire, but no-one with the kind of sparks and connection I had with ATG (who has, actually and really, turned into a good friend). I'm really busy in my own life and don't really have time for sparks right now anyhow -- I've got politics covered by some people, and companionship by others, and that will do, for now....
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#15 of 47 Old 07-07-2010, 10:46 AM
 
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Question for any of you ladies who have done online dating:
How long do you talk to someone online before meeting them?

I wasn't planning on trying to meet someone. It's only been about 2 months since I broke up with my boyfriend of the last year (and there may or may not still be some feelings there.) But I set up a profile on okcupid after reading about it in another thread here. So far I've gotten messages from a lot of losers and one really interesting guy. I'm still feeling a little weird about the whole Internet thing, and I guess I'm just wondering how this sort of thing usually works.

Single Mama to Vincent 3/30/09
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#16 of 47 Old 07-07-2010, 02:33 PM
 
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SamiPolizzi - I like to meet someone from online ASAP after a couple emails and perhaps a fairly brief phone call (10-15 minutes). I am absolutely not interested in a pen pal or phone call buddy, and don't want to invest time in someone I'm not going to click with in person.

JunipersMom - It's nice to at least have a "not bad" date!

As for me - it looks like I probably have a date Friday evening with a guy from online. He seems intelligent and well-educated. He is divorced with one child, whom he sees weekly. I have a pretty good feeling about him, but we'll see.

I have been talking to two other guys. One is very local (huge plus) and seems nice and looks fairly attractive (plus), but I'm a bit turned off because he recently went to the casinos for a weekend (pretty big drawback if this is something he's really into). I'm NOT a gambler, and have zero interest in going to casinos. What do you think? Worth meeting? He wants to get together next week.

The other guy is a surgeon (good - I get along with doctors) a little further away (not so good), but I got a good impression from his profile. At least "on paper" we seem to be a good match in a lot of ways. He hasn't yet proposed a meeting - we've exchanged a couple of very brief emails. We'll see where it goes with him.
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#17 of 47 Old 07-10-2010, 10:12 AM
 
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So excited!

I've joined a couple of internet sites, and have met 2 guys with whom I'm texting and speaking with on the phone.

The first one lives a few hours away but is moving a bit closer next week (he travels a lot for his job). We're going to meet halfway after he moves. This guy is the charming sort, good looking, good job, (except that I don't like the traveling part). I get a little weirded out sometimes talking to him bc the convo sometimes becomes a little risque, sorry if this is tmi, really it's nothing that bad, bc of the fact that we haven't met in person. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying it. I'm finding this to be a little confusing. ADVICE??? I see you're nicknaming you're guys, I'll call him JT bc he reminds me of Justin Timberlake

Ok, the other guy, he's SO SWEET. I've spoken to him on the phone once and we texted, but I didn't connect like I did with JT. I'll call this guy S. He has this innocence about him, he seems so happy-go-lucky.

It's almost as if I'm looking at a case between the good guy and the sexy bad guy!!!

Well this is going to be fun at least. I haven't dated in 10 years!!!

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#18 of 47 Old 07-10-2010, 12:02 PM
 
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So, I had a date yesterday - lunch date that lasted nearly 3 hours! I like him. He's clearly very intelligent, has two masters degrees from top notch schools and may be getting another. There was a bit of chemistry. I'm not blown away, but I'm favorably impressed enough for a second date. He's divorced, with one child and is a good age for me - 4 years older. I'll call him Mestizo. I have to say, though, I'm still comparing people to Squash Partner who moved in April to a city 3 hours away by air, and neither of us would consider long-distance.

I'm talking to a couple other prospects online...
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#19 of 47 Old 07-12-2010, 07:45 PM
 
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I met a guy at work, of all places. He's here to perform an inspection of our facility and is only in town for a few days but we CLICKED! Early days yet but...he's very nice. Divorced, one kid, working on his PhD, and gainfully employed.
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#20 of 47 Old 07-12-2010, 09:56 PM
 
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I met a guy at work, of all places. He's here to perform an inspection of our facility and is only in town for a few days but we CLICKED! Early days yet but...he's very nice. Divorced, one kid, working on his PhD, and gainfully employed.
Sounds promising Minxie!

So, after having some time to think over the date, I'm starting to suspect that Mestizo is a bit of an embellisher or perhaps a fraud. His profile said that he had a masters from a particular Ivy league school and a PhD from another, non-Ivy, but prestigious school. He works for another university - a public one, and said he has serious political ambitions. A couple of times, I asked questions or made comments about his two degrees, and his answers were either vague or sort of lack luster, especially after I mentioned that a relative of mine went to the Ivy, and asked why he had joined a club other than that school's club (I was surprised that someone with his purported ambitions hadn't joined the club).

When I google him, his name comes up as a STUDENT of the public school (a business school). So, my suspicion is that he may have taken classes at the other two places, but never graduated and is currently an employee of the public school getting a graduate degree for free.

I want to make clear that NONE of this bothers me. High end degrees are certainly not necessary to date me!!! What does bother me is that I'm pretty sure he's lying about it, or at the minimum stretching the truth liberally to impress people. I'm almost positive he doesn't have a PhD. I've asked a friend who went to the Ivy to check out the alumni database to see if he's actually an alum.

So, how do I handle this? I had agreed to a second date for this week, but hadn't set up specifics. He's been very persistent about texting/calling since the first date. Do I explain why I'm not interested? I just really think he's a charming fraud, and BTDT, not interested in riding that train again.
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#21 of 47 Old 07-12-2010, 11:52 PM
 
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Hope it is okay if I crash your thread lol. I love living vicariously through all of you that are dating. Hopefully one day I can join this thread for real and have my own interesting dating stories to tell. You ladies give me hope.
Me too! I want to date so badly, but I am fat and I still have my STBX's voice in my head telling me that I am worthless Like, how much therapy until that goes away?

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So excited!

I've joined a couple of internet sites, and have met 2 guys with whom I'm texting and speaking with on the phone.

The first one lives a few hours away but is moving a bit closer next week (he travels a lot for his job). We're going to meet halfway after he moves. This guy is the charming sort, good looking, good job, (except that I don't like the traveling part). I get a little weirded out sometimes talking to him bc the convo sometimes becomes a little risque, sorry if this is tmi, really it's nothing that bad, bc of the fact that we haven't met in person. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying it. I'm finding this to be a little confusing. ADVICE??? I see you're nicknaming you're guys, I'll call him JT bc he reminds me of Justin Timberlake

Ok, the other guy, he's SO SWEET. I've spoken to him on the phone once and we texted, but I didn't connect like I did with JT. I'll call this guy S. He has this innocence about him, he seems so happy-go-lucky.

It's almost as if I'm looking at a case between the good guy and the sexy bad guy!!!

Well this is going to be fun at least. I haven't dated in 10 years!!!
That is so nice, I admire you. You are getting what you want and that is awesome. As far as the phone calls, well, I think that probably just means that you have crazy good chemistry going on. Good for you!

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#22 of 47 Old 07-13-2010, 03:19 AM
 
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I haven't been dating, and have pretty much given up on finding a boyfriend--too much work.

That said, I went out to dinner last night with an old friend/flame that I hadn't seen in about 15 years. We'd almost dated back in the day... Ok, no, we "dated" but I hit the panic button and ended it within a week. Last night, we got the friendship part caught up on the past 15 years, and "put out a fire or two" after dinner.

I think we've arrived at "friends again", with an option for "benefits" from time to time if/when circumstances are right. We shall see. He's heading out for vacation today, though, so I doubt we'll see each other again in person until next summer.
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#23 of 47 Old 07-13-2010, 07:07 AM
 
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Sounds promising Minxie!...

...So, how do I handle this? I had agreed to a second date for this week, but hadn't set up specifics. He's been very persistent about texting/calling since the first date. Do I explain why I'm not interested? I just really think he's a charming fraud, and BTDT, not interested in riding that train again.
Thanks; I hope so! I can't say what you should do but I'll tell you what I DID. I googled this new guy, asked him a couple of questions in a roundabout way to verify the info and then told him that I had googled him. The info on the sites might be old info. My new friend is married according to classmates.com but divorced according to him; he just hasn't updated the site and I don't have enough (of me) invested yet to ask for a copy of the divorce decree.

I say if you found something odd, give him a chance to explain. If he can't, or it doesn't have the ring of truth, RUN. As fast and as far as you can. Having been involved with a pathological liar, I can tell you it NEVER changes and you will ALWAYS doubt his word.
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#24 of 47 Old 07-14-2010, 04:02 PM
 
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Well I'm officially going on a date with a guy I met on OkCupid. I'll call him V. We're having dinner Friday night. I have a babysitter and everything! I'm a little bit nervous, only because I'm ALWAYS really awkward on first dates. But I'm excited too!

Single Mama to Vincent 3/30/09
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#25 of 47 Old 07-15-2010, 05:32 PM
 
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So, I was able to search the alumni databases from both the schools from which he claims to have degrees. He is not in either database. When I search the directory at the (much less prestigious) school he claims to work for, he comes up as a student and ONLY a student - does not come up if I search by faculty/staff. I honestly just don't want to even open the door to possible explanations. He's a liar. Would you just ignore texts in a situation like this?

I had another date Tuesday night. The guy was nice enough, but rather dull in terms of conversation, etc. That's not going anywhere.

Sigh.

Anything new with you Minxie?

Sami Take a deep breath and enjoy a glass of wine, and you'll be great I'm sure!
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#26 of 47 Old 07-15-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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He's a liar. Would you just ignore texts in a situation like this?...

...Anything new with you Minxie?

I would totally ignore texts from a liar IF you checked him on it and he kept the lie going. I say this because often people are trying to impress and may have exaggerated. If he doesn't correct the lie, I would totally dump him.

YES!!! We clicked so well and the sparks between us were so incendiary that it's a wonder everyone didn't realize. We didn't do a very good job remaining professional but we got through the week.

He came over Monday and we made out; Wednesday and we made love. He's supposed to come by this evening if he can shake loose his comrades. The problem is that we are both gun-shy when it comes to long-distance relationships, which this would have to be for the next four years. The good news is that he has already indicated he wouldn't mind moving here and learning from my mentor at work (he's in the same line of work.)

We'll see how it goes. On the one hand, I could totally see us together. On the other hand, I'm trying not to rush things.
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#27 of 47 Old 07-15-2010, 08:59 PM
 
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I love everyone's updates!
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#28 of 47 Old 07-15-2010, 11:21 PM
 
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Has anyone dated a widower? I'm looking for any tips/experience. It's really different than dating a divorced man. I've been dating "electric boy" (love the nicknames & this one relates both to his work & his abilities in bed) for just under two months. We get along great - similar sense of humors and enough in common to click. Enough not in common to experience new things from each other. His wife passed unexpectedly five years ago. He appears to be sufficiently through it. But I'm looking for some BTDT advice! Thanks.
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#29 of 47 Old 07-16-2010, 05:06 AM
 
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Well its back to the drawing board for me after my 'promising' start of a relationship ended a few days ago...we'd had a brilliant weekend together, everything I was looking for and more, and left with him making concrete plans with me for next 2 weekends (we live about 2 hours apart). Then he rang me two nights later and said that despite our excellent physical and 'energetic' connections and the fact he really likes me, he has a gut feeling something's not right for a relat with me and called it off. I was totally shocked. This is the second time in 2 months that I've been 'rejected' - altho the previous guy was still wanting to see me, just didnt have feelings for me and wanted a fling rather than a relat - this guy WAS looking for a relat but for some reason it didnt feel right for him with me. So...a bit burned but bouncing back. Might take a bit of a break from consciously looking for a man though, for a while. I feel really happy with my life as it is which helps.
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#30 of 47 Old 07-16-2010, 07:45 PM
 
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Might take a bit of a break from consciously looking for a man though, for a while. I feel really happy with my life as it is which helps.

I'm sorry it isn't going well for you. I think this is an excellent idea! Take care of you for a while and don't even think on it.

The week I decided I was finished catering to my ex and was finally OVER him (we broke up FIVE years ago), my new sweetie was hand-delivered to my doorstep. I don't know if it will work between us, but everything appears promising and at the least, it got me back into the dating game.
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