Single Teen and Young Mama's Thread - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-04-2010, 08:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey any young mama's out in the mdc community lurking around? I shouldnt say "teen" i forgot about the rule 18+ for the site.

How about single young mums or you were pretty young when you had your first

A Toronto born young mama blowkiss.giffreshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy superhero.gifand her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babenono02.gif attending college for early childhood educationwhale.gif   and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Dayheartbeat.gif pos.gif

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Old 07-06-2010, 10:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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82 views and no young single moms??

A Toronto born young mama blowkiss.giffreshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy superhero.gifand her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babenono02.gif attending college for early childhood educationwhale.gif   and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Dayheartbeat.gif pos.gif

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Old 07-06-2010, 11:37 AM
 
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I think there's a young mothers thread in Find Your Tribe. Used to be anyway.

Lots of the views are probably just curious what you were posting. If they're not a young mom, they're not going to respond. (I'm definitely not in that category--had my first at 30!)
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Old 07-06-2010, 05:33 PM
 
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I think it depends on what you mean by young. I'm a 25yo single full time law student mama. My story is long, so I won't get into the whole thing, but you'll see traces of it here and there.

I don't know how many of us single mama's are young - maybe a few more will respond?
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Old 07-06-2010, 06:05 PM
 
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I think it depends on what you mean by young. I'm a 25yo single full time law student mama. My story is long, so I won't get into the whole thing, but you'll see traces of it here and there.

I don't know how many of us single mama's are young - maybe a few more will respond?
I had my first at 20 and I'm now 24(almost 25) and expecting #2.

ETA - sorry just realized you were looking for single mamas.

wife of 8 years to DH geek.gif, mama to DD blahblah.gif (2006) & DS jog.gif (2011) angel1.gif (Dec. 2012) rainbow1284.gif due Nov. 2013 

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Old 07-07-2010, 11:45 AM
 
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Naw, I'm an "old" single mama (had DD at 30)
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Old 07-07-2010, 12:04 PM
 
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*raises hand*

I'm 21. I was 19 when I got pregnant and 20 when I gave birth.

There's a young moms thread in parenting, but it hasn't been active for a while. I'm also pretty sure I was the only single mom who ever posted in that thread.

Single Mama to Vincent 3/30/09
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Old 07-07-2010, 12:41 PM
 
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I got pregnant at 18, had my daughter at 19 and am have recently become single at 21.
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Old 07-07-2010, 12:49 PM
 
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I'm not anymore. I was for a few years-had my youngest at age 17, next at 18 and was basically single and then completely single until dh came around. Good luck, girls!

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Old 07-09-2010, 12:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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oh ill have a peek in the other forums, im new, i didnt know if there was any other tribes for us young pups

well welcome mamas! im 21, i got pregnant at 19 and have been single since conception practically. As far as my son's father, he unfortunately fills the stereotype of being a lazy, alcoholic, drug addict, welfare case. I has a serious lack of judgement and felt like I was in love. I knew him for 3 years prior to getting pregnant, was close with his family, close with his friends, went to all family functions with him but he ran away from me and my baby like a dog with its tail between its legs. I tried living with him for 3 months 7 months after my son was born, which was a huge disaster. He never went to work, he never went to school, he barely helped with our son, never cleaned up our apartment, spent our money on alcohol, and number of other things, the things no one wants to hear about.

But thank god Im not the one with the problem! lol I graduated highschool on time with all university level courses, I had two jobs in between graduating and getting pregnant, I lived on my own when I could, payed my rent did my grocery shopping all that. I didnt know what I wanted to do for schooling, so I went to the school of life experience until my decision was clear. Well isnt having your own child the biggest way to make your future clear. I finally decided on teaching ( only a couple of months ago), pay is not to bad, Im home for his dinners, off on weekends and holidays and I feel comfortable working around children, it comes naturally to me. I was originally going to wait till my baby was 2, but after all the bs with his daddy i moved back to my parents house and am working again and applied to college within a week of being back. So i start the 5 year journey soon, and Im so excieted to be able to get my career going, create the best junior grades classroom EVER and provide the best for my baby.

A little rambling, I know. I just wanted to share how I landed in the teen pregnancy/ single mother boat. I wish I chose a better father for my son and a better man to spend my life with, but Im happy to be a single mother because the alternative sucks. I havent really spoken up about this to alot of people, but maybe you mamas are going through something similar? Or youd like to share your story a bit?

As far as me coming involved with all good things organic and natural, I really became familiar with attachment parenting and all that when I first got pregnant. The first book I got after the positive test was a water birth book. I completely love this way of life, it fits in with exactly what I feel people need and love. My baby is thriving with our lifestyle and I am too.

A Toronto born young mama blowkiss.giffreshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy superhero.gifand her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babenono02.gif attending college for early childhood educationwhale.gif   and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Dayheartbeat.gif pos.gif

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Old 07-09-2010, 03:37 AM
 
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I had my son at age 23 (I'm now 24). We were actually married for several years before planning our son...but my ex-husband pretty much had a freak out and turned into his own father (drinking, smoking, being abusive, getting fired from his job, etc)--the marriage was good for several years but then he just started going downhill and I did not want to go down with him.

So right after my son was born I moved in with my parents so I could stay at home with him... I finished my B.A. when I was 20 actually, so now I am just applying to grad school to become a midwife and nurse practitioner...it's a very ambitious 3 year program, but I'm very dedicated to it, so I commend you for getting your education and doing the single parent thing...it is hard, but there is a reason women are strong...
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Old 07-09-2010, 01:26 PM
 
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im 22 had DD at 21. i dont have parents been on my own since 15 raising DD as a single mom although she sees and loves her dad

 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

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Old 07-10-2010, 01:02 AM
 
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I shouldnt say "teen" i forgot about the rule 18+ for the site.
We make exceptions for young parents

Not all those who wander are lost 
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Old 07-12-2010, 11:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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iLanaRose, thats a great accomplishment to have your BA by 20, is your ex-husband still involved with your toddler? You were strong enough to leave, it can be easy to get sucked into the ground with them and stay, so many women do.

anielasmommy09, I cant believe you've been on your own since you were 15, thats really good your able to have the daddy there for your baby, what kind of arrangement did you figure out?


Thank you abimommy

A Toronto born young mama blowkiss.giffreshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy superhero.gifand her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babenono02.gif attending college for early childhood educationwhale.gif   and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Dayheartbeat.gif pos.gif

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Old 07-13-2010, 01:03 AM
 
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My ex has been living all over the place and his interaction with our child is spotty... he just saw him for the first time in 8 months the other day but then moved yet again and is still jobless. I have full custody only because he didn't fight for any custody; I let him see our son only with someone else there such as myself or parents... on the one hand it's disappointing because you want their father to WANT to be there for their child and more than anything I don't want my son to have to feel the pain of feeling like his dad doesn't love him or something... but on the other hand I know my son is being raised safely and responsibly in my care.
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Old 07-14-2010, 10:50 AM
 
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we dont really have an arrangement i just let him see her unlimited. he temporarily moved back in b/c im going through ome PPD which i did not know could hit anytime in the first year....shes 9 m/o now. we were together for 7years before we broke up and were living together since we were 16 so we aren't so malicious to eachother. it can be rough at times though. he gives me $400 a month for support.

you are sooooo lucky you can live with your parents and go to school! definately do it.

 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

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Old 07-14-2010, 04:54 PM
 
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I didn't know my DS's dad very well when I got pregnant. It was pretty much a summer fling, and I had never planned on seeing him again. He met DS once when he was 2 or 3 months old, but hasn't seen him since then. He occasionally will send me a text or facebook message asking how DS is and saying he wants to come visit, but then he never does. We're better off without him.

Single Mama to Vincent 3/30/09
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Old 07-14-2010, 05:01 PM
 
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I got pregnant with DD at 19, had her at 19 and became single yesterday at 21.

I guess I belong here now.

Bethanie, Single Mama to Clementine Aislyn born via waterbirth.jpguc.jpg on 11/23/08. Hoping to homeschool.gif We cd.gifsaynovax.gif
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Old 07-15-2010, 12:37 AM
 
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*

he's here; kaine (11/9/09)
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:27 AM
 
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hey canadianhippie since your sig says legalize it does that mean you smoke while your BFing? i know some woman do but it does send a concentrated amount of THC to your baby and IMO its not worth the risk...they say if you do it occasionally its safe but idk i really wouldnt bother. i smoked almost everyday since i was 12 but quit when i got pregnant and havent smoked since. once DD weans i probably will smoke a couple joints a week or a month or w/e when DD goes to bed. anyways just felt compelled to say something...

 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

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Old 07-15-2010, 05:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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we dont really have an arrangement i just let him see her unlimited. he temporarily moved back in b/c im going through ome PPD which i did not know could hit anytime in the first year....shes 9 m/o now. we were together for 7years before we broke up and were living together since we were 16 so we aren't so malicious to eachother. it can be rough at times though. he gives me $400 a month for support.

you are sooooo lucky you can live with your parents and go to school! definately do it.
7 years wow, that sounds not to bad, i hope its working for you, the child support sounds great too.

SamiPolizzi, I know people thats happened to, where it was just a short little relationship but a baby came out of it, sorry he never stepped up to the plate but your right about being better off without him if hes not 100%.


welcome to the group madeofstardust, we're all going through the same thing so your not completely alone on this, were your little online mom group. Were you with the daddy the whole 2 years?

hey anielasmommy09, you should come on over to the Summer Cannabis Mamas and Mj Lovers in the finding your tribe forum, lots of like minded mamas, I reserve mj talk for in there.

A Toronto born young mama blowkiss.giffreshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy superhero.gifand her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babenono02.gif attending college for early childhood educationwhale.gif   and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Dayheartbeat.gif pos.gif

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Old 07-16-2010, 01:42 AM
 
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I have been with the father for about 3.5 years, up until a couple of days ago.
It's such a huge, relieving feeling that it's FINALLY over!

Bethanie, Single Mama to Clementine Aislyn born via waterbirth.jpguc.jpg on 11/23/08. Hoping to homeschool.gif We cd.gifsaynovax.gif
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Old 07-16-2010, 10:10 AM
 
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omg im soooooooooo stupid i slept with the ex last night......wtf am i doing ahhhhhhhh

 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

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Old 07-16-2010, 11:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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madeofstardust, well its seems you have the right attitude, its good to hear your in a better place

lol anielasmommy09 dont sweat it, did u have a good time?

A Toronto born young mama blowkiss.giffreshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy superhero.gifand her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babenono02.gif attending college for early childhood educationwhale.gif   and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Dayheartbeat.gif pos.gif

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Old 07-16-2010, 01:01 PM
 
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omg im soooooooooo stupid i slept with the ex last night......wtf am i doing ahhhhhhhh
Eh. It happens. I don't know about you, but I find that when there is no sex in my life, I am generally more stressed out.

I wish some of you lived close to me. I have yet to meet anyone who A) is close to my age B) is single and C) shares my parenting philosophy. And usually C ends up being the most important. Most of the moms I've met who I get along with well are married and twice my age. Which is fine, but it would be awesome to have some mama friends who I have more in common with.

canadianhippie, I'm pretty sure we would be BFFs if you lived next door to me!

Single Mama to Vincent 3/30/09
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Old 07-16-2010, 01:56 PM
 
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it was pretty good haha hes such an emotional guy though of course it turned into oh i love you and im like aha thanks you can go now lol im such a guy.

my bff is in the same boat as me but we dont have the same parenting style shes a formula feeder and is very much a "typical American mom"
shes embarrassed when i wear DD in the wrap and BF in public, im also nuts that i BF past 6 wks old and that im going to BF until DD weans herself...
and im nuts i had a drug free birth and on and on and on

honestly i didnt think there were any moms like me my age...

 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

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Old 07-16-2010, 06:53 PM
 
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We make exceptions for young parents
Oh good! I was lurking and read that and was upset this place was closed to young parents! Glad to know it isn't!
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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SamiPolizzi, i get stressed without sex too lol. I would love to be able to be with moms my age and are natural mothers. Your right, I either am with older moms who go home to their husbands and have their house and all that established, or Ill meet teens moms who really, really are the type that give a terrible name to other young moms. Smoking while pregnant with their 2nd or 3rd child before 18, cursing, on welfare, highschool dropouts, ugh. Cant relate to them at all, i always feel stuck. When I am on that rare occasion able to go out without my baby, Ill be with ppl my age without children and I still dont relate to them. Canada kicks a** if your up for a move,neighbor lol

anielasmommy09 thats funny, your ex with the i love yous, id feel the same way if i was in that situation "ohh,thats nice....well, its been fun...see ya later" I find it hard in my area to meet any other hippie moms, they breastfeed and babywear for the most part, but Im definitely the only nonvaxer and noncirc mum. I think there is one other mom who trys to follow attachment parenting. I feel like were in a very small niche mothering catergory, were single, were young and were natural parents. Hard to come by!

A Toronto born young mama blowkiss.giffreshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy superhero.gifand her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babenono02.gif attending college for early childhood educationwhale.gif   and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Dayheartbeat.gif pos.gif

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Old 07-17-2010, 10:14 AM
 
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seriously hard to come by! i KWYM about the welfare smokers and all that. most of the other moms my age go out clubbing and partying and im like hello i have a baby i cant go anywhere! its been real rough not having anyone to help me ever except her dad...
all i really have is my sis and shes has alot of mental issues i just would not feel comfortable having her watch DD. im screwed with trying to find a job though i can not afford daycare and im on some waiting list for reduced but its going to take 1 yr + they said if its even still offered b/c they are trying to do away with the program! so im thinking of doing my own at home one but hello stress....ahhhh its so hard im losing it!

 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

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Old 07-17-2010, 11:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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ugh i know subsidized daycare can take a long time. Well, when i was living with my baby's father and ends werent meeting, I posted a nanny ad on kijiji and had 3 calls in a weeks for a position. I did have experience as one, but I also put on the ad that I have a baby who will be accompanying me. What about that? Going to nanny with your babe at someone's house? Or even private home childcare? Throw an ad up on craigslist or kijiji w/e you prefer and see what happens. It can seem like a stressful situation to dive into, but Im sure once you get your first paycheck it will feel worth while.

Do you go to baby groups and things? In Canada theres places called Early Years centres and its a government funded place for children birth-6 years and they have all free activities, I go almost everyday. Is there anything like that near you? It is helpful to talk to other moms, I find in general, they treat me as a equal, not a young immature mom. You could work out babysitting-swaps if you meet other moms you feel comfortable with, you take their babies one time, they take yours the next, that way you get free childcare. Sounds like you need a better support system, Im lucky enough to have my own family (3 brothers, 2 SIL's and my parents) to help. I dont get shiot from my son's family, not the dad, grandma or granddaddy, aunts or uncles. I moved back up where I am 2 months ago and I still cant find "friends" to chill with, its a rural area and I dont have a car so I dont get to meet alot of people. I go out alot on my own with my baby, lots and lots of walks. Keeps my mind off my son's father, because I find its a constant, constant battle to keep him out of my head. Whether I have feelings that I miss him so much and want to talk to him or I think about how hard Im going to punch him in the face and how angry I am at him, I have to keep busy or I go crazy thinking about it.

A Toronto born young mama blowkiss.giffreshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy superhero.gifand her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babenono02.gif attending college for early childhood educationwhale.gif   and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Dayheartbeat.gif pos.gif

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