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Old 08-02-2010, 01:59 PM
 
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I completely agree with having a witness who videotapes your exchanges. I think its a great idea. The pillow thing is ridiculous. You do not have to provide the materials to facilitate his vacation plans. I know its hard with your abuse history to be able to say this to him. I just feel for you. Anyone who believes women always get what they want in court is a fool. I just never really see that happen.
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Old 08-02-2010, 02:19 PM
 
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I just spoke with my lawyer. She said he can't take our son to get his cast off. I have sole legal and primary residence. He can't switch dr's and dentists especially when he lives 1200 miles away. I told her i was sticking with the fri-wed and i would be getting our sons cast off before they leave. If my ex doesn't like it and if he takes me back to court again oh well. I guess i'll deal with it then. Thanks everyone. It sucks dealing with an abuser and custody.
I am so sorry you are going through this.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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Old 08-02-2010, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It was a violation of our court order. He had left my lawyer a message Saturday saying he was taking the kids to Portland and keeping them an extra week. None if which was ever brought to my attention or agreed upon. My lawyer is calling him now to tell him he's in violation and to get the kids back in ca bow and he must return them to me by Sunday.
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Old 08-02-2010, 03:08 PM
 
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It was a violation of our court order. He had left my lawyer a message Saturday saying he was taking the kids to Portland and keeping them an extra week. None if which was ever brought to my attention or agreed upon. My lawyer is calling him now to tell him he's in violation and to get the kids back in ca bow and he must return them to me by Sunday.
Keeping them another week??? What is he thinking!?


Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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Old 08-02-2010, 03:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For an extra week and took them out of the state. He illegally is doing both. If he doesn't have the kids here Sunday then we will file kidnapping charges.
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Old 08-02-2010, 03:30 PM
 
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Oh good gracious. That is insane and I hope the Judge catches wind of this and throws the book at him. I hope the kids are doing okay, despite all this upheaval in their lives right now.

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 08-02-2010, 03:37 PM
 
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Mama I have been watching your story and praying...your ex is so much like mine. : many prayers
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Old 08-02-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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For an extra week and took them out of the state. He illegally is doing both. If he doesn't have the kids here Sunday then we will file kidnapping charges.
I'm so sorry for you and your kids!

I'm a mother to one, stepmother to one and wife to my one.
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Old 08-02-2010, 06:08 PM
 
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How are you holding up? I can't imagine what this must be like for you. I hope you have friends and family to surround you with love and support.

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Old 08-02-2010, 06:54 PM
 
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i'm so sorry you and your kids are going through this.
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Old 08-02-2010, 06:58 PM
 
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Oh no, can't you do anything before Sunday since he is in violation by being in California?
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Old 08-02-2010, 07:13 PM
 
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Avani,

Did you know when he took them that the camping trip was out of state? I ask only because your crazy judge could see that as implied consent for the trip. As to the extra week I am worried. I think that the police need to be involved ASAP. My father once tried to kidnap me. It was my own very vocal objections that prevented it. I am praying for you and your dear children.
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Old 08-02-2010, 07:15 PM
 
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I feel for you and the kids but perhaps this one time HUGE violation will indicate to your judge just how messed up and toxic your ex is thus reducing the chaces of this ever happening in the future.

MY HEART DOES GO OUT TO YOUR KIDS AND YOU!!!!! This has to be tough.

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
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Old 08-02-2010, 07:26 PM
 
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I was often terrified when my father had visitation that he wouldn't bring me home. I'm hoping and praying things turn out okay for you and your kids.

Do you have any way to contact him/the kids? Shouldn't he have to provide you with a way to call the kids on a regular basis?
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Old 08-03-2010, 02:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So my lawyer called and texted him that he was in violation of the court agreement and to return the kids asap. His response? 9 different text messages saying how dare my lawyer and I attempt to dictate whete he xan take his children during his visitation. If we have complaints or proof that he is doing something wrong then we should fax the complaints to his mom. He continued with I am a liar who still his children from him because I was upset he had an affair. That I would pay in coyrt for being so gross and that he has done nothing wrong. He said my lawyer and I were only attempting to scare him and ruin his time with his children and we had no rigjt doing so. This is from my phone so please excuse the typos. If he doesn't return them by Sunday we will file kidnapping charges. It is a violation of a court order but we are giving him the duration of his visit because of whatever reaction from the judge. My lawyer thinks the judge will side with my ex no matter what. Sigh. I'm worried for my babies. I hope they come home Sunday.
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Old 08-03-2010, 02:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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He texted me he would be camping at shasta which is most defintely in California not Oregon. I have that proof. He said nothing about leaving the state. But clearly he feels he has the right regardless of what the state law says. Obviously he is way too empowered by the court.
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Old 08-03-2010, 02:40 AM
 
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Do you have any proof via text from him that they are now out of state? I know your children told you but it might be nice to have proof that he cannot deny.

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
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Old 08-03-2010, 03:15 AM
 
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Ugh god mama I am so sorry. I hope that time flies and he brings them home on sunday. I am also really, really really hoping that your freak of nature judge quits in october.

M : proud mama to B (16) : and G (8) and : x 2 :
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Old 08-03-2010, 03:15 AM
 
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Avani,

If you had an aggressive attorney, she would have you file charges for kidnapping now. Why wait till Sunday? You know that he has taken them out of state, the attorney has received a message from him that he is taking them for one extra week. What more evidence does the court need?

Appeal to the court for a new judge due to the new evidence. Call the police and file kidnapping charges. They will find him and escort him back to his state, and then on to your's with the children. My ex tried this last year, to go three states away and have my then 9 year old daughter to call me and inform me at midnight AFTER they had arrived.

I panicked, thought he was going to try to fly with them out of the country, and called Washington, called my local police precinct, and they escorted him (and my children) back to my city.

This year he traveled again, but gave me notice, his travel plans and the phone number where they would be staying.

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Old 08-03-2010, 04:04 AM
 
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Avani - Have you looked into seeing if you could revoke your ex's drivers license due to excessive back CS? I know in many states you can have the person behind on support given a license suspension and if it gets bad enough, even their US passport taken away. I know this would hamper his ability to work most likely, but he's not paying you anyway...

I'm sorry that he has done all of this. I agree, I'd file kidnapping charges now, this is criminal activity. Your lawyer should be able to subpoena his (your ex's) cell phone records from the service provider which would show without a doubt where your ex is based on the location of the cell sites used to transmit and receive calls and messages from his phone.
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Old 08-03-2010, 10:38 AM
 
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Avani - Have you looked into seeing if you could revoke your ex's drivers license due to excessive back CS? I know in many states you can have the person behind on support given a license suspension and if it gets bad enough, even their US passport taken away. I know this would hamper his ability to work most likely, but he's not paying you anyway...

I'm sorry that he has done all of this. I agree, I'd file kidnapping charges now, this is criminal activity. Your lawyer should be able to subpoena his (your ex's) cell phone records from the service provider which would show without a doubt where your ex is based on the location of the cell sites used to transmit and receive calls and messages from his phone.
: There has to be something to get a new judge. Have you called you congressional representative? Were I you, I would camp out at his/her office and get a meeting. They have more influence than you think. You NEED a new judge. Call your state attorney general and see if they have any advice for getting a new judge.


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Old 08-03-2010, 10:59 AM
 
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I wouldn't think twice about, I would go down to the police station and file charges NOW. With or without your lawyer, who you should replace asap.

Heathyr hang.gifBlessed Catholic Wife to DHwheelchair.gif Devoted Mama to DS1 biglaugh.gif(3/17/08) and DS2blowkiss.gif (8/5/2010)familybed1.gifcd.giflactivist.gifribboncesarean.gifx2 
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Old 08-03-2010, 12:28 PM
 
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Avani,

If you had an aggressive attorney, she would have you file charges for kidnapping now. Why wait till Sunday? You know that he has taken them out of state, the attorney has received a message from him that he is taking them for one extra week. What more evidence does the court need?

Appeal to the court for a new judge due to the new evidence. Call the police and file kidnapping charges. They will find him and escort him back to his state, and then on to your's with the children. My ex tried this last year, to go three states away and have my then 9 year old daughter to call me and inform me at midnight AFTER they had arrived.

I panicked, thought he was going to try to fly with them out of the country, and called Washington, called my local police precinct, and they escorted him (and my children) back to my city.

This year he traveled again, but gave me notice, his travel plans and the phone number where they would be staying.
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Originally Posted by Theia View Post
Avani - Have you looked into seeing if you could revoke your ex's drivers license due to excessive back CS? I know in many states you can have the person behind on support given a license suspension and if it gets bad enough, even their US passport taken away. I know this would hamper his ability to work most likely, but he's not paying you anyway...

I'm sorry that he has done all of this. I agree, I'd file kidnapping charges now, this is criminal activity. Your lawyer should be able to subpoena his (your ex's) cell phone records from the service provider which would show without a doubt where your ex is based on the location of the cell sites used to transmit and receive calls and messages from his phone.
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: There has to be something to get a new judge. Have you called you congressional representative? Were I you, I would camp out at his/her office and get a meeting. They have more influence than you think. You NEED a new judge. Call your state attorney general and see if they have any advice for getting a new judge.

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Originally Posted by KempsMama View Post
I wouldn't think twice about, I would go down to the police station and file charges NOW. With or without your lawyer, who you should replace asap.
I totally agree with these ladies, you are being held hostage by this judge and your ex is being allowed to continually break the law and abuse you with the OK of this judge. I would do what these mommas say, you have to take a stand, and since he is blatantly breaking the law, yet again, I would do it now.
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Old 08-03-2010, 12:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Revoking his drivers license is in the works. Child support has our case and we are all waiting on the august 20th contempt hearing. To see if he pays up or tues to jail and then child support will revoke his license. Today I will make a report with the police department. He is still within his rights of visitation time. Until Sunday per signed agreement. Leaving the state was violating the order but because his visitation us still legal kidnapping isn't the case. If he returns them Sunday we can file contempt for him leaving the state. Supposedly they are back in California. I'm going to try and get ahold of the kids to confirm, if they aren't I will file charges. I would love to switch judges, lawyers, jurisdiction. You have to realize this entire court business is being conducted 1200 miles away from me. I've never been to one hearing. As a very low income single mom to several little kids, who gets no child support, I'm doing what I can. I'm going to find out about switching jurisdiction and getting a settlement in place. Maybe if it is switched to here then he won't be able to continue to abuse the system. My lawyer said that kidnapping can not be considered until his visitation is over, she consulted with other lawyers who all agreed. I dont know what else to do. If I could have his visitation stripped I would. I'm going to meet with a lawyer here and see if she thinks I would have a better case here.
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Old 08-03-2010, 01:09 PM
 
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It sounds like you are doing or have done everything you can. I hope the new lawyer has good news for you.

I'm a mother to one, stepmother to one and wife to my one.
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Old 08-03-2010, 01:21 PM
 
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If you can't get a new judge - you SERIOUSLY need to APPEAL. Your judge is WAY OUT OF LINE!
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Old 08-03-2010, 03:51 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. Sounds like you are doing everything you can. Sending prayers to you and your kids.
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Old 08-03-2010, 05:16 PM
 
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I hope you can get the jurisdiction changed or something. Can you report this judge to the state? I know judges can be kinda hard to get into trouble.... but this one is out of line and I'm sure you're not the only person suffering from his unwillingness to uphold the law.

You are so strong and I know you will always fight for what is best for your DC.
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Old 08-04-2010, 07:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so upset right now. My lawyer just called and he's taking us in ex parte tomorrow. We don't know why but crazy judge will be in the house. My kids have their own cell phone so they can call me anytime and its been shut off since Monday a.m. I have no way to get ahold of them, I have no clear idea of why he is taking us into court. He signed an agreement. I assume he is going for more time. I want my babies back, this has been the,longest week as it is. I'm scared. The kids start schhol in 2 weeks and he's pulling all this crappy now and he won't let me speak to my babies. Tomorrow a.m. is the hearing.
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Old 08-04-2010, 08:14 PM
 
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Oh my word!!!!!!

I don't know what to say Avani, except you are in our prayers.

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