New to Single Parenthood-- Need a lifeline! :-) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 08-01-2010, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
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My Husband abandoned the family. (as in all out, go to work, never come home ABANDONED). I had a pre-schooler and a newborn when he did this. We had been married a decade. Never. Saw. It. Coming.

He did come back for a few weeks after a brief stay at someone's house. I am not sure why he came back- he said it was to try to work on things, but more likely, it was to get life in order before he really moved out.

The "friend" he was staying with ended up being an affair. DUH. I was so niave I actually believed he was staying on a buddy's couch. I told everyone how badly I felt for him , you know, everyone thinks about the mom when you have a new child, poor hubby got forgotten, he has feelings too. Poor guy...

That was several months ago. I have since gone to therapy, realized I am an enabler & hubby is a user, and filed for divorce.

I just need a friend. Anyone been though this hell and lived to tell the tale? I need someone to cheer me on and say, "Go Laurie Go!" I know I can make it, I just need a posse LOL. No one I know IRL has ever been through anything like this...
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#2 of 8 Old 08-01-2010, 05:14 PM
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What a crappy situation. My H decided to move out when I was 5 months pregnant and we have an under 2 year old. Lived together for 7 years, married for 3. It sucks. We're doing mediation and legal separation agreement now, but it's tough. Just talking about visitation and holidays gets the waterworks started.

Pretty sure H has been unfaithful as well. At least, that's what it looks like with his sharing 750 texts and dozens of pictures to one girl the month he moved out.

We will both get through this. Somehow.

DS 2008, DD 2010, DS 2013
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#3 of 8 Old 08-01-2010, 08:54 PM
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Oh, I'm so sorry...

My situation is a little different, but DH keeps surprising me with his general a**holiness... We decided to "take a break" over the summer to discuss our marriage, issues, etc., while I was staying with my parents with the kiddos. I haven't really heard from him since April in regards to our marriage, just general, "how are the kids, did you pay the oil bill?", etc. So, he came down for a visit a few weeks ago and wasn't wearing his wedding band. Then, this week, he tells me he doesn't think we're really married anyway (we got married in Jamaica) - I know we are, but, really, why is he in such a rush to act as though we're not married.

I'd be surprised if he were seeing someone else, but I can't help but be suspicious. I almost went through his phone while he was here, but couldn't bring myself to do it. Now, I kind of wish I had. *blush*

I hate that we're all going through this - but I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one!!

You can do this!! I can do this!! If you need a posse, let me know; I'm in! I could use one, too!
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#4 of 8 Old 08-02-2010, 01:11 AM
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Hey Laurie! You can do it! Go Laurie!

I'm going through a divorce for different but still sucky reasons. It's tough but there are empowering moments too.

 Single mama to two wild and sweet toddlers 2/08
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#5 of 8 Old 08-02-2010, 10:46 AM
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Go Laurie Go! You can do it!

I know how you feel, though...I don't have anyone IRL who has BTDT, either. Thank goodness for MDC!

Mama to DS (7)
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#6 of 8 Old 08-02-2010, 11:31 AM
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You can do it Laurie! Ra Ra RA!

I'm "on the other side" now, and though I left my XH for different reasons, I know what you're going through. Thank god for MDC!
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#7 of 8 Old 08-02-2010, 11:35 AM
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I just got dumped for another woman, so I completely understand your pain. And the other woman has an infant and they are all living at MY house. Obviously I am getting divorced

What I am already beginning to see, and hopefully you are too, is that they did us a favor. The affair was the last straw in a long line of emotionally abusive behavior. Like you I was CONSTANTLY making excuses for his behavior to other people. Although I am scared about the future right now, and the fight I have coming over custody, I already feel so much... freedom, since he left me. I know once the mess of the divorce process is over I will ultimately find a peace I would never have had staying with STBX.

You can do this. You will be fine

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#8 of 8 Old 08-02-2010, 03:28 PM - Thread Starter
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yes, i am scared but definitely think, "I am soooo glad I am finding out he is a slug NOW rather than in 30 years!!"

I am young enough to start all over again, even if all over again means a fabulous life as a single gal!

yeah, I guess my story is also helped by the fact that the other woman is older, not attractive and is seriouslt like 4 in. taller than my husband. I love seeing them together because they look so funny. Almost lie fate is saying, "No, nope, you guys dont belong togethe. Not at all. See, you dont even look good together. Go back home. try again."
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