Does anyone feel jealous around "happy couples" - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 42 Old 08-31-2010, 05:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Jessnet View Post
You COULD be happy in a relationship. And you could even maybe find a man who would let you stay home, oh wait, but you won't "settle" for a man who might make good money and let you stay home, but is just not edukated enough for you.

If you cut yourself off from men before even giving them a chance, you will never find anyone. A degree does not equal education or refinement. As a PhD student, I have been around a lot of educated and uneducated men. The difference is only important to those who are insecure about their own position in society.
Was this necessary? I mean, really? The mods shut down the other thread(although to be honest I feeling a bit censored but whatev) and here you are. Like I said, we all have our "non negotiables" and mine happens to be that I want a super motivated indivudual. Lay off.
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#32 of 42 Old 08-31-2010, 07:52 PM
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OP: No, not anymore. Of course, I was bitter about things for a (long) while and that contributed to my feelings.

I don't think there is a "right way" to do this thing called Life. Please don't beat yourself up about your choices! I've learned that the easiest way to feel badly about my self is to compare my life to someone else's. Everyone has things they are working on or need to work on. C'est la vie!

I've gotten to the point where happy couples bring joyous feelings into my body and I can't wait to get married, again! I worked on me and now, I feel ready to be a partner to someone else. Life is good!

Yes, yes.  I'm fabulous. loveeyes.gif  Moving on...

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#33 of 42 Old 09-01-2010, 06:26 AM
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Since I'm just starting this journey, a big resounding yes. I'm jealous and it just makes me sad. Especially my sweet families in my office with their new kills me. I want another child and now I know for sure that it won't happen. I wanted to be that happy family with dad, mom and kids, and I know that that dream is over. I'm jealous of their togetherness and happiness.
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#34 of 42 Old 09-01-2010, 05:44 PM
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More like wistful. Not jealous exactly, because I don't feel any resentment toward them. When I first was divorced, I felt relieved to not have that responsibility any more.

But someday, I hope to be half of one of those elderly couples that seems to have been together forever. I guess I better get cracking on finding a partner for that.

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#35 of 42 Old 09-01-2010, 06:12 PM
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Not with people I'm friends with. For me it comes when I see a smiling couple walking down the street with a stroller, heading to the park. (We live right by a park in a very family-friendly neighborhood, so this happens a dozen times a day at least.)

When it comes to friends, I'm either happy for them or a touch cynical, depending on how I evaluate the state of their marriage, keeping in mind that I'm an outsider and things may not always be what they seem.
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#36 of 42 Old 09-02-2010, 09:31 AM
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I've been through all stages of relationships. Single, married, divorced, single, and now back into a healthier relationship. What I have learned is this: Be happy for others when they are happy. Happiness, in even the best of circumstances, can be fleeting for ALL of us. You'd be surprised at how much your outlook changes in all areas of your life if can learn to let go of the jealousy.

"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead. Sometimes you're behind. The race is long. And in the end it is only with yourself." - Baz Luhrman

Not saying it will always be easy, but it will always be worth it. Good luck and remember there is a perfect stranger out there who hopes for your happiness.

(If there were an icon for chasing a little boy around 24/7 I'd post that one)
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#37 of 42 Old 09-02-2010, 11:36 AM
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PirateMommy -- what a great post. I'm adding that quote to my favorites...

Mama to DS (5)

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#38 of 42 Old 09-02-2010, 12:20 PM
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That is a great quote, PirateMommy! I need to add it to my quote list too!

I can say even since I last posted on this thread... I feel better about happy couples. I've accepted that my set of cards was to go this pregnancy alone, for likely a very good reason set by the Higher Powers that be.

I can see myself becoming a stronger person. I know that I have found a lot of answers from this past relationship in regards to my life. And that information/knowledge has been priceless.

So, I'm going to agree with some of the PP's who stated seeing happy couples/marriages makes them hopeful. That is how I feel at the moment. I'm a romantic at heart, and I beleive something better/more is out there for me yet. The time is just not right now. Right now, I'm regaining me, and learning/growing to be one hell of a strong Mama. lol

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#39 of 42 Old 09-02-2010, 01:31 PM
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I'm glad you both liked the quote. It is one of my favorites, and one of the best to live by. So very, very true.

And Phoenix~Mama - it sounds like you are doing a great job & going in the right direction! There is something better for you and it ALWAYS starts from within. It may sound overly simple or cliched but I've found it to be true. We are literally surrounded by an often hostile world going through some very dark times - to see ANYONE happy gives me joy, and I don't need to know who they are or why they are happy. It is just enough that they are. Because it is often so tenuous, everyone deserves whatever they can get for however long it lasts.

(If there were an icon for chasing a little boy around 24/7 I'd post that one)
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#40 of 42 Old 09-02-2010, 05:30 PM
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i don't know if my feeling is jealousy so much as feeling: i'm a good person. why am i still alone? but it comes and goes. i've kind of resigned that i am going to be alone for quite a while to come unless something really major happens. who is to say it won't, but it will definitely be totally unexpected!

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#41 of 42 Old 09-06-2010, 07:15 PM
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My mother has been a single head of household for most of her life and I periodically frequent these discussions. I often find inspirational things to share with her and I appreciate the insight that you all provide. Having said that, I was shocked to see SAHM bashing. Fo me the point of this community is to hold up mothers everywhere and acknowledge how difficult it is to navigate parenting in a world that devalues it so blatantly.

Originally Posted by trippingbillies View Post
OP-I feel your pain. I was a former military wife and the worst is to go on my facebook and she all these SAHMs to school aged kids whose husband bring in the money and they get to be ladies of leisure all day while I work two jobs and no man wants me....good times....
While I am not a single mother, both my husband and I were raised by single head's of household. Although my life has been very different than either of theirs (I am soon to be a WAHM), I will always admire and respect them. I have been a nanny and worked in managerial positions in luxury good sectors of retail (while at the same time getting my degree). In my experience taking care of children is as difficult as any other job or educational endeavor. I have to say that the idea of SAHMs being "ladies of leisure" is incredibly offensive. Working and being a parent is stressful and difficult whether you work at home, your work is taking care of the home, or you work outside the home. For many people taking care of children and a household is a full time job (meaning 7 days a week). Both my mother and MIL will attest to how hard it is to be single head of household. However, both of them will also say that their friends who were SAHMs worked their butts off. Perhaps if a SAHM is wealthy and can outsource things like cleaning, cooking, childcare, errands, driving, scheduling, decorating, and organizing a life of leisure would be within reach. However, most of the families that I know where one of the parents (mom or dad) stay at home do so with great sacrifice. The parent who does not bring home a paycheck generally makes up for it with TONS of extra work.

Mama~Blogger~Artist~Homemaker. Family = DH (married 6 years), baby Elinor, and our puppy Frances.
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#42 of 42 Old 09-08-2010, 01:21 AM
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Originally Posted by single_cj View Post
The way I'm starting to see it, I made a bad choice. When my husband proposed, turns out I gave him the wrong finger.*
this may have to be my new sig
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