Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
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There is a womens pagan circle that I know of in my community, but I was told that they are not very accepting of children during certain rituals. Well, I'm a single mom, what am I supposed to do?
I know I'm going beyond the scope of the thread, and I apologize. It's just stuff I'm working on. My DD isn't even 3yo yet and so given the abuse and other craziness I faced upon entry to motherhood, in someways I'm not sure how much I've accepted that this little person who shares nearly every moment of my life is someone other than my child. IDK if that makes sense?
oh dont worry about the scope of the thread theia. its one of the reasons i posted this here and not in hte FYT or even the religious section of Spirituality. Yes I understand. being mama hen. its hard to let go. esp. when dealing with trauma.
I am a very spiritual person and really wish to find a community or group of friends who are at least supportive in the "free thinking" spiritual way.
I wish you all the luck finding it theia. I never did. In fact i only found it online. a group of truly supportive females. a group where i could truly go and express my sorrows and get the right kind of support. but otherwise to meet someone who 'gets' me - again not expecting to understand 100% - happened this summer. and its funny. its my anthro proff in magic and religion. ONE person IRL after over 6 years.
i just never fit in anywhere. to the level i needed to. i cannot truly talk about my faith to anyone IRL. i can talk about pieces and parts, but not the whole thing. and i have met some people who are kinda similar but then they are so different in the other realm that i dont just get it.
i mean actually for me its not even truly about faith. its been more about tolerances. aargh this is the one that gets me sooooo deeply. just accepting people for who they are.
that is why my inroad into atheism has been sooo fascinating. and i totally see where they are coming from and understanding the basis of their philosophy.
However i will say i did find something that met a lot of needs within me. i found a teacher who was willing to trade with me - training in NVC (Non Violent Communication). i am not asking you to join it. but its been a HUUUUUGE tool in my life. it gave me tools to create the world i could live in. to see the hidden meaning behind their words. my own words. it is a great conflict resolution tool, as that's the path i am following.
I hurt my abusive X when I told him I was leaving, but it was the best thing for all of us. It doesn't negate the pain that any of us felt (or will feel) wrt my terminating of the relationship, but I know in my heart that I did it for the right reasons. And that should be all that we ask of anyone, IMNSHO.
THAT is exactly how it was for me too. and while i have been able to deal with 'this is life' ex is still sooooooooooo angry with me. soooo angry. it was the best thing for dd and me to get away from emotional abuse but even today he doesnt see he is being abusive. he used to rant and rave until one time i told him i had gone to see a DV counsellor and they agreed it was emotional abuse and he finally shut up about the abuse.
If I could find a community to support me in my spiritual growth in such a way as I've described, I'd be very happy.
have you thought about instead of trying to find a spiritual place if you do the kind of things those type of people do? like community garden for instance? i dont know how to say this theia without coming across as judgmental. i live in my head. so in a sense i am a nerd, who does horribly in social group because i cannot do small talk. i like taking an issue and learning about it. before i even planted my garden i spent a month on research as i cleared up my plot. i crave some - for lack of the right word - 'intellectual' stimulation. its not about book knowledge, but something that comes from dwelling in it a lot or book knowledge. like the farmer who said you create a forest out of 4 trees. it even stumped the Ph Ds working with him. he was astonished. you dont know this. well just plant 4 trees in the 4 corners and over time the birds will eat the fruit or nest in your tree and bring seeds from other trees and in a few years your fallow plot of land will be teeming.