Originally Posted by Cybercere
ThiS is the worse thing that has ever happened to me. It makes me not want to wake up. VisitAtion is ok. Having her live away 50% of the time isn't. At her age that would be extremely detrimental to her well being. I am desperate to do anything I can to protect her. I just feel like I'm running out of options
You're not running out of options. You are just panicking now and not thinking straight.
If your husband's name is on the birth certificate, he is your daughter's legal father, and there isn't diddly squat this other guy can do about it unless he petitions for custody and a paternity test is ordered. And depending on the laws of your state, your husband, as the presumed legal father, might be able to quash that.
You say you don't want the guy's money, so don't take it, don't ask for it, drop that issue entirely. Your lawyer, btw, doesn't sound too bright. I would look for a new lawyer.
Since, in the eyes of the law, your former affair partner is not the legal father, he actually has zip, zero, zilch claim to your child. You do not have to allow him visitation anymore than you would have to allow some random dude off the street visitation. Legally, your ex has no standing to demand anything from you.
So calm down, stop panicking, get a better lawyer and just do nothing and let the bio-dad make the first move.