September Dating Thread. Let's keep it going ladies!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 63 Old 09-02-2010, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Here we are!! Its September and I am ready for LOVE.
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#2 of 63 Old 09-02-2010, 03:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't have much to report because my new love interest (MO) is out of the country until later this month. I have been trying to just let it be and not do too much future planning/worrying even though he is on my mind A LOT. I don't have much interest in dating anyone else right now. It just doesn't feel right. I am definately loyal when it comes to those I care about even though a quick roll in the hay sounds good right about now
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#3 of 63 Old 09-02-2010, 10:41 PM
 
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Well, I'm starting September with a thud. I had been on 2 dates with that guy, what did I call him? The shy commuter, I think? And was happy that things weren't sucking, thinking there was potential, but...I think he is married. Or something. So I've called it off, natch.

I realized after our 2nd date that I still didn't have his last name (we met online) and when I emailed him to ask him about that, thinking it was really no big deal at this point -- I'd already been to his place, talked politics, whatever....He wouldn't tell me. Said it was b/c of google and his work and wanting me to get to know him for who he is, not what I find out about him on the internet, etc. I was skeptical but was sort of like, whatever, if he's got a secret, it'll come out. But then last weekend he was "unavailable" all weekend. Again, kind of weird that he didn't have *any* time, but not a huge thing...we made plans for this coming weekend (hiking/swimming on Sunday) but this morning I got another email that he was not going to be able to get together.

I can't think of anything other than a wife that keeps you completely unavailable, not even time for breakfast, or an afternoon beer, with someone you say you're into. Combine that with no last name and the fact that he lives/works 3 hrs away during the week, it all seems pretty darn sketchy.

And I'm mad that I let myself get played for so long.

Grrr.
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#4 of 63 Old 09-03-2010, 12:52 PM
 
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I told you to ditch him! Sorry, sug. Sucks.
you totally caught my married-man-magnet. Get rid of it pronto! Nothing but heartaches come from that crapola mojo.

My birthday is tomorrow and I find myself letting it be "a test" of sort in my subconscience to gauge how much SweetieSweeterson cares about me. We can't see each other all weekend (his friends from out if town are staying with him and I'm with the kiddos throwing my older his birthday party anyway, & SS is a bit spooked about dating his first single mom & understandably slow & cautious about kid exposure). So I wonder if he'll call, text, send flowers, or show up after bedtime with flowers & champagne to have a quick toast with me before re-joining his friends who are w/ him for the weekend. I mean, he lives 5 minutes away; my place is Even on the way for him & his buddies to go out to the city bars/clubs/etc.... He could swing by somehow & drop off a gift or just give me a birthday kiss if he cares about holidays & such. I'm certain he knows that I do. But he is NOT mr smooth & romantic. A romantic gesture would be out of character for him. Correction, a cheesey romantic gesture that would make me melt (as per I just described) would be out of character. His attentive presence in my life these last 5 weeks & all the favors he's done to help me get settled into this city after I moved 4 weeks ago have been amazing. He holds an ice scraper, I swear. But has never said a compliment & never gets verbally mushy. But his warm, endless embrace & accompanying caresses are mushy when we're hanging out at my place or his, usually in one another's arms. But the lack of really opening up verbally gets to me; I feel at arm's length whereas I express everything to him. He soaks It up like an eager sponge & there are no "games" or "rules" to worry about which is amazing but.... I wanna know some intimate thoughts and vulnerable feelings of his, too.

And I want him to make it clear that I'm important to him tomorrow on my birthday, somehow. :/
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#5 of 63 Old 09-03-2010, 01:19 PM
 
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awww sugarmoon, that really sucks. But good for you for calling it off as soon as those red flags showed up.

AFM, I'm still seeing Saxman. Last week, he mentioned something about our "anniversary", which prompted the question "What anniversary??". He shyly told me we'd been seeing each other for 6 months. WHAT? How did that happen? Time sure flies when you're having fun.

Even though it's been 6 months, I still get all giggly when I receive an email from him, and I still get that rush when I see him after a week of not having time to see each other.

Anyhow, we're not going to be high school about it and celebrate every month, but it was nice to know he was aware about the specifics of ..."us". Whoa.

Oh, and our families have met. Saxman's parents always have dinner with the kids on Sunday, so they invited my folks and my daughter to join them one lovely Sunday afternoon. Everyone seemed to get along swimmingly, the food was awesome, and since then, Saxman's mom and I have been chitchatting through email. I'm trying very hard not to overthink this and not to give into the "OMG what if this doesn't work" thoughts...For now, it's all good
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#6 of 63 Old 09-03-2010, 05:44 PM
 
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Sugarmoon, that does sound like your instincts are prob right - sounds really frustrating. Hopefully September will bring a more solid prospect into your life.

Ferra, how long have you been with the current love interest? If he is inspiring loyalty it must be a good sign...

I met with Musician guy y.day to break up with him - he already knew I was going to do that as he'd basically got it out of me on the phone, but still wanted to meet and discuss it properly. And when I saw him, guess what - suddenly he looked very attractive to me, and the whole conversation we had, I just felt like it was so natural for me to be with him. He accepted my decision but said he'd been thinking that we could try a 3 week 'contract period' where we write a list of what we want from the other person, and then see what (if anything) we want to do from that list for each other. As an experiment to see if it can work. I'm considering this idea, I figure what have I got to lose - he knows where I stand so I'm not leading him on, and I find it kind of revealing that now that we're NOT in a relationship, suddenly I want to be with him - just shows that it could well be my issues playing out here and nothing to do with him. So...watch this space. Indecisive, or what???
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#7 of 63 Old 09-03-2010, 07:25 PM
 
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sugarmoon, I wouldn't be suspicious of the privacy on the last name alone. I never liked to tell people I met online my last name for a while, mostly to protect the privacy of my kids. Combined with all the rest, it seems like you might be right. And regardless, he keeps blowing you off.

HAM, it's so nice that you are still giddy after 6 months.

Devaya, do you know what you would want from him? It sounds like he really likes you and you like that, but you aren't crazy about him for himself.

I am trying to stay away from dating for a while, because I am recently out of a very strange relationship, but I'm finding it hard to avoid. Last weekend, I spent a long time talking to a guy I met. We hung out at the beach for a little while a few days later and as I was leaving he said he hoped we could get together again. He gave me a really nice hug and a little kiss, which I dodged a bit, but I said I would like to see him again. A couple of days passed and he didn't call, so I called him last night. By the time I went to bed, it had been several hours and I hadn't heard back. I figured he had changed his mind about wanting to see me again and I was actually relieved since I was breaking my "no dating for now" rule. But he called while I was at work today to say that he was on his way out of town for a wedding, but definitely wanted to see me again and would call me when he got back in town. So, we will probably get together next weekend, which is perfect because I need to go really slow. And I have my kids tonight and tomorrow night anyway.

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#8 of 63 Old 09-04-2010, 02:34 PM
 
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A guy that I know I'm not interested in has asked me to go to an art fair with him tomorrow. We went out once after we met and I had fun, but I know he is not for me. I want to turn him down gently, but firmly. I'm really insecure about my ability to communicate clearly and honestly but kindly. Especially via text, which is what he always uses to communicate with me.

I was thinking of just saying, "No thanks. It sounds like fun, but I don't think we are a good match."

Anybody around who can give me some feedback on this today? I could really use a critique on my message to him. I could also call and leave a voicemail or tell him over the phone, but he has always only texted me to get in touch.

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#9 of 63 Old 09-04-2010, 03:55 PM
 
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Give him the friendship option. Say you enjoy being friends & have fun doing things together, but you don't see it ever becoming romantic, in case that's perhaps something he had in mind. Follow with, "would you be interested in going to the art fair as friends?"

SS is on his way over post-bedtime with champagne & such. I presume. He had had plans tonight w/ out of town guests who pooped out early and left already so he was suddenly free & hinted around about coming over so I told him point blank that if a gentleman were to show up w/ birthday trinkets (champagne, flowers, etc...) then positive consequences could ensue. He promptly texted back, "What time?"

I'm about to text him that now is the time. But I oh so wish he would have figured that out (dropping by after bedtime to deliver flowers/gift/champagne & offering to come in and spend time) on his own. Sigh. I guess I'll spoonfeed him the way to be romantic & meet my needs if he continues to eat it up so willingly. He is worth it, after all.
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#10 of 63 Old 09-04-2010, 04:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflymom View Post
Give him the friendship option. Say you enjoy being friends & have fun doing things together, but you don't see it ever becoming romantic, in case that's perhaps something he had in mind. Follow with, "would you be interested in going to the art fair as friends?"
Nah. I don't like him. He seemed okay when I met him but he did a few things that made me uneasy when we were out last week. Your advice would be awesome if he seemed like a nice guy, but he seems like kind of a jerk. I've gone the friends route several times before. Besides, I already know how I want to spend my day tomorrow and it doesn't involve hanging out with anybody but myself.

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#11 of 63 Old 09-05-2010, 05:17 AM
 
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mimim sounds like your original text was more than enough. If he's a jerk I'd go with simply, "I'm not interested."

so last night was amazing. One wake-up/temper tantrum AND a phone call from my ex spoiling the birthday night somewhat, but.... Nah, no spoiling was possible. He looked so handsome I even felt a giddy, fun nervousness around his hotness.... He came with obviously pre-purchased gifts which were perfect & thoughtful, huge smile when I opened the door, amazing champagne & presents in arms and then he even initiated the first hug (did I mention that he is RESERVED??? I waited 10 dates for him to finally kiss me/hold my hand and since then I have initiated 95% of all hugs/kisses which he never seems to mind even if I can be a bit overwhelming to a typical guy, much less a super shy guy who is reserved about mushy stuff to put it mildly). Then he and I went to the kitchen to pour champagne & toast my birthday and talk and I couldn't help myself, I climbed into his lap for a straddled, face to face conversation right up where I could smell him and snuggle here & there. We both sported goofy grins and silly jokes and giggles throughout the conversation. He seemed so happy to see me and so breathtakingly gorgeous that I couldn't help but grin like an idiot myself and was practically blushing from the sheer severity of my crush on this man. He kept grinning back with twinkling, smiling eyes and I felt so happy to see this warm, sweet, glowing-with-goodness guy is in my life. Best birthday ever. I got plenty tipsy, we drank whiskey, and were basically glued to each other and in conversation the whole time. Bliss. He was being loving to one of my cats and I started tearing up and he noticed my swell of emotion instantly(!) and scooped me up inti his lap and kept asking me what the matter was in the most caring, concerned voice ever and I just cried a bit and he asked if I was crying from unhappiness and I said "no" emphatically through my little happy sobs & he just relaxed then and held me and coddled me. He is so nurturing & gentle & loving for a man who a) plays in a death metal band, b) has never had any kid-exposure/any kids in his life thusfar, and c) has been single & woman free (outside of a handful of first dates and even fewer second dates but nothing really going anywhere with anyone & certainly not to the to the point of snuggly intimacy)for six years!! So he has zero practice for 6 years with being cuddly and sweet to anyone and has never had any experience with being nurturing and soft to any child, yet still it seems to come so naturally out of him as if he's done nothing else in his life.
Sigh. I adore this man!!!!
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#12 of 63 Old 09-05-2010, 05:00 PM
 
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Butterflymom, sounds amazing... what a birthday...and I'm impressed that you managed it all with (apparently) your child(ren?) in the house. I find it pretty distracting when my son is around, but my time to see people without him around is very limited. My first serious boyfriend was a bass player in a death metal band and was (underneath) the softest, most cuddly good-hearted guy I've prob ever been with so yeah, it just shows not to go with the appearance of things. Bonus that he is so hot!

Mimim, sounds like your instincts are intact with this guy - no point wasting your time even being friends with someone that sends off any 'jerk' radars. Anything further happening with the other guy?

I'm still a bit confused about Musician Guy, but having had a few days of no contact with him and really nurturing myself with lots of time alone while DS was at his dad's, really helped. I ended up calling him tonight bc I just genuinely wanted to connect with him, and we had such an amazing (but very 'normal', not deep or heavy) talk - he's such a brilliant listener - I was in quite a bad mood before that and it lifted me right out of it. He seems to have that effect on me...maybe it's a bad thing...but I'm starting to realise I need to allow myself the need for intimacy. We are going to just 'date' for now, and see where it goes. No heaviness, just taking it one step at a time.

As for what I want from him, Mimim, yes, maybe it is that he likes me and i like that - but I think it's more than that. There is something special about this guy, and I want to give it a chance to develop - if nothing else a good friendship (as he's indicated he would be happy with too). I've spoken to a few friends who ended up dating or marrying guys they didn't find 'wow' attractive or sexy in the beginning, but it really grew...and I know my usual 'taste' is very much coloured by my liking for 'bad guys' - which I want to avoid!
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#13 of 63 Old 09-06-2010, 11:59 AM
 
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Devaya, attraction definitely can grow as you get to know somebody better. And from what you are saying about him he seems like an incredibly nice guy. I hope things work out in the best possible way with him. How great is it to have somebody who can cheer you up like that?!?

I haven't seen the other guy again yet. He's out of town at a wedding this weekend. But last night I got restless, so I decided to go out and get a drink. I ran into this guy's friend while I was out and hung out with him for a while. We talked about the guy I am interested in a bit. Turns out he's not good at being able to tell when somebody is interested in him, so he's being really cautious about me. Good to know that, because he was sending some mixed signals to me and I was able to tell his friend that I am interested in getting to know him better. According to his friend, the main reason that this guy is a little insecure about women is because he has a visual impairment. I don't know the details on that, since we just met, but in a lot of ways I see it as a bonus. I have a problem with the way that men (or everybody really) are so focused on women's appearance and have always had a fantasy of finding someone who is initially attracted to me for reasons other than what I look like. I used to argue with my exbf about his obsession with what women look like all the time and it made me extremely insecure about myself and his attachment to me and it was shallow and creepy. I probably will not have that problem if things go anywhere with this new guy. I've only spent a few hours with him so far, so I really have no idea if anything will develop, but his friend and he both seem very cool.

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#14 of 63 Old 09-08-2010, 02:11 AM
 
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ferra I relate to having no desire to play the field since you are sooo into your new love interest MO and I am keeping my fingers crossed for an amazing time when he returns!

sugarmoon I really wanted to rationalize other options other than marriage for this guy saying maybe he is private after all you met online, etc. That said, I dated and lived with a married man without knowing it for several years....... until after our dd turned one. SMH! I did think at times there was another woman but never had proof and also never followed my intuition..... CHEERS to you for following your intuition. I think we women were blessed with it for a reason! Don't beat yourself up.

Butterflymom what a nice birthday, I have to say this birthday is very different from last years and I wonder if that reflects some sort of shift in where you are in life right now. I have seen a lot of growth in you and you are very worthy of all you desire. SS sounds AMAZING with your birthday you said that you wish you did not need to give some many hints to SS and while I understand that know it's a tough balance. Some moms (like me) have a hard time and feel odd when a man ask to come to my place when my child is clearly here all single mom's approach that differently and all men approach how they date a single mother differently this is new for him and in some way he may not know what is and is not okay when it comes to your time with your boys! Regardless the hints paid off you seem elated and that makes me happy!

Halfasianmomma congrats on your six month anniversary with Saxman. He seems really committed to being there for you and I think has proven to be more than a rebound so really enjoy the journey and shelf those "OMG what if" moments on a shelf.

Devaya I think the Musician seems nice enough but maybe to be fair date a couple other people to make sure you are not unintentionally settling..... He could be a god like man but if he is not your ice scrapper then know there is one out there somewhere for you! Or perhaps you may need to address you desire for bad boys before you can truly offer the Musician what he deserves. Either way I love the book The Artist Way if you are considering doing any self-reflection / self-work.

mimim I respect that you are staying away from dating to work on yourself I think it's needed from time to time! Cheers to you. Sometime when we aren't looking.......

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
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#15 of 63 Old 09-08-2010, 11:51 PM
 
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Hey! I have been a member of MDC for a couple years, but not very active. I am so happy to find this forum and this thread! I just divorced in January after a long separation. I have a four year old son and I am in a new relationship.

I went on some dates through dating websites and it was sitcom bad. One guy told me I should meet his sister because she likes artsy fartsy stuff too. Another guy asked about my job and while I was describing it said, 'Are you a nerd?' and he was completely serious. Wow.

I was about to give up on the online scene and then I met a guy who seems like everything I have been looking for. He owns his own business in the construction field and he is an artist and musician. Great combo of sensitive type and manly man. We have been dating for about 2.5 months now. Things seem to be going well and I think he is really into me.

Then... my super hot neighbor (who lifts weights in the driveway with another neighbor because they keep their benches and stuff in the garages) came over and asked me out. He is a doctor, he was all shy and sweet, and did I mention he is super hot?

On the one hand I feel like I have a good thing going and don't want to mess it up. On the other hand I feel like, I have never dated around and maybe that's why I get stuck in bad relationships and I should check out all my options. But then again, I went on a lot of dates with people who looked good in description and then it was not good at all.

WWYD? I think another reason I feel like everything is so urgent and critical to decide now is that I really would like to be married and have at least one more child. And I am already 35 and I am feeling the clock ticking. Arg. The joy and torment of dating!
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#16 of 63 Old 09-09-2010, 12:47 PM
 
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COVegMom - Since you're considering hottie neighbor doc (HND is a cool acronym!), then I guess you're just not that into the guy you've been seeing. Or....is your ego just soaring from the attention of elligible men but you're happy with the guy you've been seeing?
Or maybe you're not ready for exclusivity and now wish to date casually multiple men? Has exclusivity been discussed with the artsy musical construction guy (AMCG)?
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#17 of 63 Old 09-09-2010, 02:01 PM
 
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COVegMom - Since you're considering hottie neighbor doc (HND is a cool acronym!), then I guess you're just not that into the guy you've been seeing. Or....is your ego just soaring from the attention of elligible men but you're happy with the guy you've been seeing?
Or maybe you're not ready for exclusivity and now wish to date casually multiple men? Has exclusivity been discussed with the artsy musical construction guy (AMCG)?
LOL, love the acronums! The more I think about it, I think I really liked the ego boost. I would have definitely dated HND if he had asked before this relationship started. But I really dig AMCG and I really like commitment, I am just afraid of holding out for something with him that I am never going to get and then feeling like I missed out on something.

And after I talked to AMCG about it (I just put out there as, someone asked me out and I didn't really know what to say because I'm not really sure what kind of relationship we have going on), he assured me that he is not dating anyone else or looking for anyone else to date. He said he was cool with me dating around if I want to, but asked for openness about it. And he seemed sad that I might go out with someone else. So I guess it opened a door to have a conversation that made me feel more secure in this relationship.
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#18 of 63 Old 09-09-2010, 02:48 PM
 
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Yay! It all worked out!!
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#19 of 63 Old 09-09-2010, 05:18 PM
 
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Devaya - it was after my kids went to sleep, FYI.
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#20 of 63 Old 09-11-2010, 11:11 AM
 
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COVegMom, you handled that so well. And it seems like you got what you actually wanted right? The guy you've been seeing is somebody who you want to be with and you found out that his intentions are to be with just you too, right?

So, what is with guys anyway?? Why do they refuse to take no for an answer? The guy who I turned down last weekend, by telling him clearly that we were not compatible, called me last night to see if I wanted to meet him for a drink. I didn't answer my phone, I just let him leave a message. That sort of thing has happened to me a bunch of times before and I don't get why they'd keep after someone who is not interested in them. Should I call him back and tell him no again or can I just ignore him?

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#21 of 63 Old 09-11-2010, 02:05 PM
 
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Aw, thanks. It did work out well.

I don't know what's up with the guys that don't get it. I got a call from a guy I went on a couple dates with months ago, and I told him it wasn't working. Then randomly he calls me again. ? And I didn't have his number saved in my phone any more so I answered--doh!

If you think it was clearly communicated, then I would feel fine just ignoring his calls. I would assume that unless he is a total moron or stalker he will stop in a week or two. Or tell him one more time and be clear that you don't want to be 'just friends' either. After that if he doesn't back off, I would just not engage.
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#22 of 63 Old 09-11-2010, 04:29 PM
 
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I joined Cupid.com.........
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#23 of 63 Old 09-11-2010, 05:09 PM
 
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Yeah, CoVegMom, I think I will go with the ignore method. It's so weird though. He acted like I hadn't turned him down already, but I was very clear that we were not going to work out.

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I joined Cupid.com.........
Is this your first time trying internet dating, hillymum? I checked out that particular site a while ago just to see who was on it. The guys in my area were yuck, but I've been feeling that way about internet dating in general. I hope you have better luck with it than I did!

Actually I guess I am feeling yuck about dating all around. I do have a date tonight. I talked about the guy upthread a bit, but I really don't feel like going right now. Hopefully I will be more in the mood for it later. I don't feel like doing the chitty chatty flirty first date (technically it's a second date, but the first was very short, so it feels like a first) thing at all, but I will suck it up and go and give him a chance. He does seem super nice and cute. I'm not gonna get dressed up though. I'll just go in my jeans and t-shirt with my unmade up face and unshaved legs. If he is my type of guy he will see that as a plus anyway.

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#24 of 63 Old 09-12-2010, 09:06 PM
 
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I've met someone I'm really excited about and it's kind of scary. LOL I wasn't and am not looking for a boyfriend because I have soooooo much on my plate right now - work, school, kids, ya know. But we totally click. He is recently divorced (but separated for a year and a half), has 2 kids, one with autism. And she is just a sweetie, totally reminds me of me when I was little. He sings and plays in a local band, has a good job, and builds wood surfboards on the side. I'll call him Surfer. We have a whole bunch of friends in common, so I know he's legit. And we both have Asperger's. And OMG is he attractive!!!!

A couple weeks ago I spent 5 hours at his apartment just talking and listening to music. And last night we spent another 4 1/2 hours the same, talking, listening to music, watching YouTube videos. We have never touched each other at all, or talked about relationships. But last night as we were talking I suddenly felt like it would feel so good if he held me. And later on, we were sitting facing each other and there was this energy between us and it was so intense I had to back down. What the heck was that??? It was like a physical lake or cloud of energy. It wasn't sexual attraction, it was outside of both of us. And I'm not one to think about or 'believe' in auras and stuff like that.

No moves have been made romantically, but I feel all weird like, I know he's the One.

I've been through a LOT in the past couple of years, and I have become sooooo strong through my battles, that for a long time I have felt like no one is good enough for me. I am POWERful now. I've had a lot of guys hit on me and I'm just like, "Yeah right." LOL

I've spent a long time thinking about what I'm looking for in a relationship, and have come to the following conclusion: Someday I will find myself as one half of an unstoppable combination, and then I will know that I found my partner.

Well, I think I found him, but it's like too intense to handle. *Whew, keep breathing, self....

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#25 of 63 Old 09-13-2010, 10:00 AM
 
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EarthRootsStarSoul - what a great feeling! Good luck with the development of things!

Me, I'm still struggling with SS's ability to open up and be emotionally vulnerable/communicative. He's so great, so sweet, but I just don't feel like I'm peeling back the layers & getting inside him. I'm frustrated.
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#26 of 63 Old 09-13-2010, 08:48 PM
 
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EarthRootsStarSoul, it sounds like you are falling in love. That is the best feeling ever!

Butterflymom, it sounds like you have a shy guy on your hands. Some people need a lot of time to open up and some people are very private. If he is so sweet and great otherwise, maybe you can just enjoy him as he is and let things blossom slowly.

My date on Saturday was just okay. If he gets in touch and wants to see me again, I will probably see him, but I doubt it's likely that I will get really into him. And that's no big deal. I am enjoying my relaxed attitude about this, but for me it doesn't take very long periods of abstinence before I start resenting that abstinence. But I want to wait to find somebody I really feel connected to before I get into a sexual relationship, so I'm gonna be patient. I hope. Give me strength.

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#27 of 63 Old 09-14-2010, 08:30 AM
 
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I'll give him a year to open up to me. Or maybe longer. He's worth the wait, just to be around him.
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#28 of 63 Old 09-15-2010, 12:57 PM
 
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EarthRootsStarSoul (Great name by the way!), that sounds fantastic! Even better that you can feel those feelings WITHOUT anything 'romantic' having happened yet - it means physicality is not distorting things or making them seem better than they are. Butterflymom, I admire your patience - but does sound like he's worth waiting for.

Things are going well with me and Musician Guy - we had a lovely DVD night at my place last week and then went to an alternative camping festival on the weekend (with my son and a couple friends as well) w hich was realy great - a good test of a man in my opinion - if I still want to date him after a festival which can be pretty intense At the same time though I was really ready for him to go home on Mon morning after we'd been together (with a couple hours apart doing separate things at the festival) for a whole weekend, and I don't know if that means anything or it's just me - I do have a massive need for space. We had a good long chat on the phone today though which was really good.

I am still going back and forth on my feelings for him - a lot of the time feeling really in love, esp at the festival when I felt really good hanging out with him, and seeing how he was in relation to other people - then suddenly feeling like he's just too 'dorky' for me, really a lot of nonsense like that. I think this relat is really showing up how shallow I can be - letting go of not having a really good looking or sexy guy, is so hard for me! I am going to go and watch him play a set as part of an arts festival, on the weekend, which is a bit nervewracking (have seen him play one song before, in my living room, but that's it!) but will be nice to be on his turf for a change as he's mainly been at mine (since he has a car and can come to me much easier than I can to him).
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#29 of 63 Old 09-15-2010, 06:47 PM
 
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ugh.........Paramedic and I broke up a while ago now and are trying to be friends. I am really struggling with this! We are friends on facebook and I know he's checking on me cause he comments on my status and likes them frequently. We hung out several times last week and he called me last Thursday and we had a good chat. Well I thought it was good! Today I looked at his profile and noticed he was no longer listed as single.........ugh. He isn't listed as anything now. I messaged him to ask if he was seeing someone......if he is that will give m that final bit of closure I need I think!! I wish we were still together though, I love him, and he said he loves me..........so hard to understand how less than a month ago he loved and wanted to be with me! Men, or boys! are o confusing.

I have a date Saturday night, the guy texts me constantly and honestly I am only going to shut my friends up. I know that's bad, I do feel badly. If I don't have a good time I can just not answer his texts and will have gotten a free dinner at my favorite restaurant! or that is what my friends tell me

I don't know that I really want to date yet! As boring as it is to be alone sometimes I think I need to focus on finding me and what will make me happy.
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#30 of 63 Old 09-16-2010, 03:37 AM
 
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I am happy to see so much activity going on! Just to let you know I am reading but during the school semester it seems harder to respond to each post. Butterfly good things are worth waiting for so I am really pleased to know you realize he is worth it. CoVegMom it is nice to know where you are in a relationship. I don't quite get how now it seems common to not discuss being exclusive with titles like GF and BF.... is that because we are too mature/old to use such titles? Or is it just something in the culture of this dating generation....?? Anywoo I am glad you have some clarity! MomAnderson I know in theory you want to be friends, but in my experience there has to be so time with distance before you can truly be friends and know it's okay to tell him you need that time. Sometimes it's nice to just go out, you may not really need/want to date but still take some you time and go out with friends.

I am dating the Agent again and he is absolutely AMAZING to me. I actually feel like his GF now... I'm enjoying our time together and the political conversations are pretty impressive now too! That said, the happiness feels somehow hollow he is indeed the man with the ice scrapper in my life but he certainly appears to care for me more than I do for him. I don't think I will be the woman with the ice scrapper for him..... but I also can't imagine him not in my life. We do have challenges but we can communicate about them openly which is refreshing.

I think a large part of my hesitation is that he is older than I, which I know my family will frown upon and given that they have supported me with dd since her dad left I feel more obligated to them. I have an old soul, many of my female friends are older and most of my ex's are, but I feel more like I should be with someone closer to my age. There is also the issue that we are not equally yoked he having his life so much more together than I do.... Reflecting on it all and wondering why I am struggling to be emotionally open with anyone (including my friends) made me realize that I may need a little couch time to deal with past issues so I just started seeing a new therapist.

I miss the Artist --- he is a sweetheart and closer to my age someone my family would welcome with open arms, but he has not taken an interest in building something romantic with me a priority. He won't completely cut ties (I assume he's hoping there is a chance for the future)..... I do understand he needs to get some major items in his life together. So we are being friends but we only see or chat with each other every once in awhile.

I also am going to re-look at my favorite book the Artist Way and do some self-work.

Anywoo happy dating ladies!

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
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