can father take baby away?? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 36 Old 09-08-2010, 09:46 PM
 
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You definitely need a lawyer. One thing that hasn't been mentioned is child support or needing of state services. Some states require that you disclose the father before you'll be awarded welfare (granted, this may be old information, from the punitive era of social services, but definitely worth being aware of) because they'll want to know that the child has all of the money THEY are entitled to before the state kicks in.

I agree you need to do what is right for you and your situation, just make sure you know all of the risks - short and long-term - before leaping.
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#32 of 36 Old 09-08-2010, 10:39 PM
 
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You'll need to be near someone supportive and positive while getting ready to have your babe. If this is your parents and they are out of state, it doesn't really matter. You go to family when the relationship fails. Nobody would argue that. Demonstrating through certified mail or other documentable communication will ensure you have offered the open door at your folks' house and this has been rejected. If your partner is suffering from strange and unknown illnesses, sleeping problems, and mental illnesses, he would probably need a psychological evaluation if he sought custody of the new babe. He may be a great daddy but you will need some more evidence of that before testing it out. Leaving his name off the bc is a safe call. He can always be added on if he follows through with being a dad, but if he bails on the kid, you've got a clean b.c. for the future. If his name is on there and THEN he bails, you've got a battle on your hand for future alternate parentage. Just a thought. I might be a bit jaded. Most states do not require a father's name on the b.c. for welfare. It's asked for but if you simply "don't know", there's nothing you could do. SMC's who need assistance usually get it, IME.

SMC to dd 4/07.
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#33 of 36 Old 09-08-2010, 11:29 PM
 
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I have not read all of the responses, but I would like to caution that YES absolutely he could file a paternity case and petition for custody.

I would come to some agreement about parenting responsibilities NOW. One of the best clauses added to our separation agreement was that neither parent could move farther than a specified range without both parents coming to an agreement about how parenting time would be split.

If you have an agreement approved by the court, and then he is not following the agreement, you would have grounds to file for full custody and to limit his parenting time.
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#34 of 36 Old 09-09-2010, 07:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by COVegMom View Post
If you have an agreement approved by the court, and then he is not following the agreement, you would have grounds to file for full custody and to limit his parenting time.
A court won't approve a parenting plan until there is a baby. Right now, as far as the court is concerned, there is no baby b/c baby doesn't 'exist' until s/he is born.
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#35 of 36 Old 09-09-2010, 11:27 PM
 
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A court won't approve a parenting plan until there is a baby. Right now, as far as the court is concerned, there is no baby b/c baby doesn't 'exist' until s/he is born.
Right, but I am imagining that it would be easier to come up with a plan, through a mediator or attorneys, now than it would be with a newborn. Then you just have to file it with the courts. And both parents will know ahead of time their responsibilities in terms of time and child support.
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#36 of 36 Old 09-10-2010, 11:30 AM
 
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Originally Posted by COVegMom View Post
Right, but I am imagining that it would be easier to come up with a plan, through a mediator or attorneys, now than it would be with a newborn. Then you just have to file it with the courts. And both parents will know ahead of time their responsibilities in terms of time and child support.
But can they PAY for a mediator? B/c they'll have to since the court won't support it until after the baby is here.

Also, if she wants to move, the LAST thing she should do is get the courts involved.
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