He is so mad about child support! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 09-28-2010, 12:09 PM
 
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Joining the club...my ex doesn't pay child support either and said he won't until he is forced. He somehow thinks that the law won't come down on him for not paying eventually.

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#32 of 38 Old 09-28-2010, 12:30 PM
 
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Ditto.

My XH has 4 kids by 4 different women, and has never paid a dime of CS. His first DS was adopted by another man, so no CS there. He bullied his second DS' mom into giving him custody and CS by holding something over her head. He's is arrears for 10K for his third DS but since he lives in another province, all the government has done is seize in federal income tax return. And for DD, he recently said he "didn't know" he had to pay me CS because *I* "didn't tell him that I won sole custody".....poor ill-informed him. He has claimed to make a payment arrangement with the CS office, but doesn't yet know that the amount will be garnished directly off his wages. I'm waiting to see how badly the cow manure hits the proverbial fan when he finds out.
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#33 of 38 Old 09-28-2010, 12:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Halfasianmomma View Post
Ditto.

My XH has 4 kids by 4 different women, and has never paid a dime of CS. His first DS was adopted by another man, so no CS there. He bullied his second DS' mom into giving him custody and CS by holding something over her head. He's is arrears for 10K for his third DS but since he lives in another province, all the government has done is seize in federal income tax return. And for DD, he recently said he "didn't know" he had to pay me CS because *I* "didn't tell him that I won sole custody".....poor ill-informed him. He has claimed to make a payment arrangement with the CS office, but doesn't yet know that the amount will be garnished directly off his wages. I'm waiting to see how badly the cow manure hits the proverbial fan when he finds out.
Congrats on that! I have an appointment tomorrow morning with an attorney to try to get all of this worked out. We'll see how it goes, and how the hell I am gonna afford to pay her. But she accepts payments, so...

Jen - Mommy to 2 little heathens: Lexi (5 years old) and JJ (16 Months Old)
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#34 of 38 Old 09-28-2010, 12:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jyotsna View Post
Did I miss something? Why is your children's father allowed to wait until the children are out of childcare to start paying childsupport? Seems he would have to start paying once you have an agreement in the court?

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Originally Posted by haydn'smommy View Post
He doesn't. He just knows it will be recalculated when they are out of daycare and that more money will be coming to me then. He also knows that, right now, every penny he sends goes to pay my half of daycare. [Since the newest calculations of his anticipated child support (he's not paying yet; he's just paying daycare right now cause we are still living together and that's what we've agreed to do), I'll actually be having to pay an additional $75/mo on top of what he's paying in child support to cover my half of daycare.] Once they are out of daycare then I will actually have that money in my pocket to spend on the kids clothes, food, etc instead of having to do it all myself. He thinks that $500/mo for 2 kids is too much.
I'm confused too, since where I am, cs is based on a % of income, and child care is NOT based on income - its just half the cost (or it might be split based on how much each of us make), but child care is in addition to the cs they would otherwise be required to pay. So, what that means, is that once my ds is out of childcare, I'll be getting less money than I'm supposed to be getting now. (I'm not getting it b/c of a lag in the court process and my ex's refusal to search for full time paid work).
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#35 of 38 Old 09-28-2010, 06:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our parenting plan says that STBX pays X amt (determined by the state) of CS and that we split daycare costs (independent of the CS). I cannot afford all my bills and house payment and half of daycare, so right now every penny of CS that I receive will go to pay my half of daycare. STBX knows that. Once I don't have daycare to pay (which will be years from now), I'll have that money to actually spend on things like clothes and shoes, etc.
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#36 of 38 Old 09-29-2010, 10:13 AM
 
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Originally Posted by haydn'smommy View Post
Our parenting plan says that STBX pays X amt (determined by the state) of CS and that we split daycare costs (independent of the CS). I cannot afford all my bills and house payment and half of daycare, so right now every penny of CS that I receive will go to pay my half of daycare. STBX knows that. Once I don't have daycare to pay (which will be years from now), I'll have that money to actually spend on things like clothes and shoes, etc.
I get it. So the dollar amt won't actually change, you'll just be able to use it differently. Makes sense. Me too though, daycare is expensive.
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#37 of 38 Old 09-29-2010, 10:44 AM
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Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
Well, I htink part of it is also here is this large lump of money that they are giving for the raising og their child and they have no say in how it gets spent. No control over it. I think my xh would feel better about giving me money if he could tell me exactly how to spend it.
How to spend it? Like you won the lottery or something?

I don't know about you ladies, but it's not like I'm getting rich off of child support. Every penny is spoken for. As long as the NCPs can see that their kids are fed and clothed and cared for, they should butt out.
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#38 of 38 Old 09-29-2010, 11:19 AM
 
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I think sometimes the child support payer does need to see were the money is going.

Many noncustodial parents do not realize how expensive their kids are.

They do not see the $20 for lunch, the $40 for new shoes, the inch they grew and the new pants, the cold that cause $50 in doctor and meds, $100 calculator, et

They do see bigger things the custodial parent does. One of my dh coworker ex just got a boob job. Then asked him $100 for hockey. Yes, he feels perplexed if she could afford a boob job why can't she afford $50 for hockey nor help do the volunteer work to reduce the amount owed. My dh did defend his ex on the $100 winter coat. His coworker didn't get how expensive it was because he wasn't doing the shopping. Even though we agree his ex should be a little more froogle ($50) jeans for a growing 12 yo.
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