my pity party - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 09-20-2010, 06:24 PM - Thread Starter
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It seems like everything is coming to a head. DS burned his hand last week on H's hot motorcycle exhaust while I was at work. H called me an hour later when DS was still screaming crying and inconsolable and I left work to get him. It blistered overnight and he was in a lot of pain. Anyway, went to the ped the next day and today and the palm sized blister popped and she had to cut away the dead skin and I've got a referral for the pediatric burn clinic on Wednesday.

Wednesday is also my due date, and I'm still working FT. I told H I was definately going to the Wednesday burn appt and that I might just take off work since the only appt time I could get was before lunch, so going in for only a few hours didn't make sense. He was annoyed that I apparently didn't think it was a big deal to take off of work. On my due date.

Then I made the mistake of asking if we could carpool to the appointment. It's downtown, there's parking garages, and tons of construction. He knows his way around much better than I do seeing as how he drives a medic down there. He was annoyed that I 'just didn't want to find parking' and didn't want to carpool. I know I never should have bothered to ask, but everyone says to ask for help when I need it and I thought since we were going to the same place....well bad idea.

Have I mentioned that I'm going to have a baby any day now? I guess I'm just throwing myself a pity party. This is the last thing I needed to happen right before having a newborn to take care of and my boss seemed annoyed when I left early today to take DS to his follow-up appt with the ped. Maybe I'm just reading annoyance in everyone. But I just want to sleep for a week before being up every 2 hours with a baby. And it's just not gonna happen.

Most people at work don't know that H left and men at work comment that I must be getting pampered at home, they did this and that for their wives, their wives could never go back to work after the second child, my H should get a raise so I can have more flexibility, yadda yadda. All well meaning, just tough on the heart right now.

I'm lucky I have a very supportive and near-by family, but I still miss having a caring supportive partner.

DS 2008, DD 2010, DS 2013
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#2 of 7 Old 09-20-2010, 10:11 PM
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Lots of hugs! Do you think it might be easier if you just let everyone at work know what is happening so they back off a bit?

Breastmilk is really great for speeding the healing of burns so when baby does come dab a bit on a few times a day. I had my two year old dd have a burn on her face that I was told would scar. I did the breastmilk three times daily and today at age 12 you can't see where it happened.
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#3 of 7 Old 09-20-2010, 10:36 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks Lorrie. I will definately try breastmilk on the burn when it comes in. I am so aggravated about that situation but trying to focus on DS's recovery instead of being angry that it happened.

I think I may tell a few people at work right before I go out and they can spread the word, and then they all have a few months and it will be old news by the time my maternity leave is up.

I mean, how do you even bring that up in conversation? I really don't want to have 20 million heart to hearts with coworkers with all of my preggo hormones in full swing. My supervisors know, but that's about it.

Anyone have BTDT for telling your work about an impending divorce? FWIW I have about 100 people in my immediate office.

DS 2008, DD 2010, DS 2013
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#4 of 7 Old 09-21-2010, 01:06 AM
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I quit two days after I found out about the affair (the .... , waits until I give my two week notice to tell me he has been screwing another woman for 5 years.) So I came back divorced. But still, yeah, its not something that just pops up in conversation. Especially since no one at work could pick my xh out of a line up. Its not like he was present in my life and no gone. A lot of my closest friends had never even met him. But eventually a few key people found out, then the gossip mill did its work and sooner than later everyone and their cousin knew, and knew why and with whom....and who my xh was (because they all knew him they just did not know he was my husband because he never so much as stopped over to say hi when he was in the building. So I was not only embarrassed by the divorce but also embarrassed to say "you know that guy...yeah, he was my husband.")


I am praying you will have a beautiful peaceful birth and that you little son will have a speedy and trauma free healing. Burns suck!

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#5 of 7 Old 09-21-2010, 11:28 AM
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Lavendar oil is also good for burns. Best when used immediately, but may still be helpful.

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#6 of 7 Old 09-21-2010, 01:02 PM
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I announced it on Facebook. You may not want to go that route. I was a leetle beet crazy at the time. I did get a ton of support though.
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#7 of 7 Old 09-21-2010, 01:23 PM
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Best wishes for a wonderful birth and a speedy recovery for your son. {Hugs}

As far as letting the people you work with know things...I told my boss and one other co-worker who I'm fairly good friends with (both are the gossipy type) the short version of my situation, and let the grapevine do the rest. ;-) I'm in an office mostly full of women, so not sure if the gossip grapevine would go as fast with men? Knowing some of the guys I know, it would. ;-)

Mama to DS (7)
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