Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Wolfville, NS, Canada
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Today it's been three years since my recently exed husband and I got married. (We've been together for 7 years, our daughter's four and half.) This shift is still very fresh for us: I asked to be separated from him about two months ago; he moved out three weeks ago. We survived a really hard few weeks of hostility and tension just after he moved out (and his new girlfriend and I learned she REALLY needed to have more space from me), but lately it's been good.
My approach with most things in life is to dive in and make a mess while discovering and fixing what's wrong. I'm very extroverted, up front, dramatic, and introspective. My wasband's much more private, contemplative, and overwhelmingly more able to bury his feelings and "move on". Over the last week he's agreed that we'll both benefit from talking about our feelings.. moving toward being friends and finding healthy comfortable ways to play new roles in each other's lives. Hense, lunch on our anniversary.
Have/do any of you meet with your exs on your wedding anniversary (or equivalent) ? I'm worried my wasband's new girlfriend, my mother, or the others who think he and I should have more space are going to accuse me of not respecting his boundaries, attempting to manipulating him, meddling with his new life, etc. If you had the ability to have a friendly relationship with your new ex, do you think anniversary lunch together is uncalled for?
And, should I dress up a bit? I'm a cloths person, but infrequently wear make up. Should I treat myself to a new mascara and lip gloss on the way to lunch? I'm a bit intimidated by how put together his new girlfriend is... he's called her "perfect" because she never seems to be, have, or make a mess. It's not that I want to have him back... but I admit I'd like him to mourn loosing me a bit.