Oh the bitterness... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 10 Old 10-03-2010, 10:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
Everrgreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,806
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Please tell me I'm not the only one who's bitter

I am very bitter about love and life. I keep looking at that stupid calender ad(not that the calender is stupid, I'm just bitter) and I look at that couple so happy and that man looks totally smitten with his partner and it makes me angry and annoyed and maybe a little nauseous.

And sometimes friends on fb will post those stupid 'I have the greatest husband in the world who loves me blah blah blah repost if you do too!' and I roll my eyes and want to hit 'dislike' but there is no 'dislike' button.

And I see couples in real life situations, taking their kids apple picking for example, having a wonderful hallmark photo moment at the orchard. And it makes me angry. And sad for myself and for my son. It always seems like I'm the ONLY single mom there. Every other mom has a doting husband who seems totally in love with her and their children.

I'm angry. This sucks. And I'm bitter.

Rant over.

Mama to my charming little boy, born at home January '09
Everrgreen is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 10 Old 10-03-2010, 11:01 PM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I've never been bitter about other people...only my x. Still bitter about him. Gotta stay away from his facebook when I check my dd's. I think there was a thread here not too long ago about this though and you aren't the only one.
PoppyMama is offline  
#3 of 10 Old 10-03-2010, 11:46 PM
 
hillymum's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Louisville, Ky
Posts: 3,394
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
I am bitter with sbx about how he chose to walk away rather than deal with his issues or put on a front and accept the bed he made and lie in it like I had done for so many years. I'm even more bitter towards his mom for supporting sbx in just walking away from his family.
hillymum is offline  
#4 of 10 Old 10-04-2010, 12:55 AM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,620
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
my bitterness lasted two years. and then i found myself. and discovered how much i enjoyed being my own person and walking my own path.

after that my bitterness went away.

it went away after i discovered the gifts of him leaving us.

 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is offline  
#5 of 10 Old 10-04-2010, 07:11 AM
 
JaneS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 9,053
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gillian28 View Post
I roll my eyes and want to hit 'dislike' but there is no 'dislike' button.


This is hysterical!!

This is part of the stages of grieving, you need to go through a bitter stage to get to acceptance. You'll get there and as the pp said, you will arrive at a point where you are grateful too.
JaneS is offline  
#6 of 10 Old 10-04-2010, 09:28 AM
 
butterfly1976's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 191
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have to agree with Jane about the stages. I know I went through them as well. It used to make me so angry about it all. I did this and that and didn't get anything in return. After many years (I'm honest) I learned to just let it go. Now I could care less what he does or who he does it with.

About the FB..Oh I love my husband soooo much.......*rolls eyes*...I guess we're all different. When I've been deeply in love with a man, I never felt the need to blast everything to everyone. I guess I'm just more private. I do believe that on sites like that, a lot of people just love attention.

I'm a single, self-employed, homeschooling mom of 2 great kids. Girl 9/95 and Boy 3/99.
butterfly1976 is offline  
#7 of 10 Old 10-04-2010, 09:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
Everrgreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,806
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh I think it is all bitterness at my stbx. It's just these people, photos, fb posts are all reminders of what he did, how he hurt me, and how my life is not at all what I thought it would be. I guess I do get a little annoyed at the people, but I know it's not their fault. I'm just finding it easier to be angry than to be depressed. Neither are good options.

I'm definitely still going through grief. I'm able to fake being happy when I'm around others, but inside I'm hurting bad.

It's nice to come here and rant though!

Mama to my charming little boy, born at home January '09
Everrgreen is offline  
#8 of 10 Old 10-04-2010, 11:15 PM
 
VocalMinority's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: surrounded by testosterone
Posts: 1,303
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Been there! Sorry you feel so rotten.

There's absolutely no reason taking your child apple-picking - just the two of you - can't be just as sugary a Hallmark moment. Bring your camera and ask someone to take a picture of you guys together.

The intensity you and your son will share, because it's just the two of you, is special in its own right. I'm not saying it's preferable to being part of a traditional, nuclear family...but it's not necessarily worse, either. And it's better than being part of a nuclear family in which the father doesn't really want to be there and the adults are miserable and fighting!

Try to look at it differently: It's lonely as hell to look at ads of idyllic couples with children and to be part of a couple with a child, but to know that your relationship isn't - and never again will be - as happy as those ads. But now, as a single woman with everything ahead of you, those ads may represent the future that's waiting for you, down the road. There's no miserable relationship to stand in your way, when the right man comes along.

But remember to focus on figuring out how to be satisfied with yourself, and the life you have now, and building your relationship with your son. The right man is less likely to come along when you're needy and searching desperately for him. Figure out what you need to do, to enjoy being on your own. The result - you being happy, satisfied and confident within yourself - will produce the most attractive you.

One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
VocalMinority is offline  
#9 of 10 Old 10-05-2010, 01:41 AM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,620
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gillian28 View Post
It's just these people, photos, fb posts are all
i know this sounds cliched but anyone who is so vociferous about stuff like this is about to go down your route.

i remember as i was going thru the stages i would look at those 'happy people' and think 'oh yeah?! for how long?'

a couple of my friends (not v. close friends) OMG totally surprised me. what i discovered was that they were putting on even more pretenses when the trouble started and if you didnt know the inside story you would see 'super happy couples' everywhere.

 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is offline  
#10 of 10 Old 10-05-2010, 01:14 PM
 
provocativa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,778
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
i agree with meemee. everyone always thought we were happy and we were miserable from the very beginning!
provocativa is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off