Joint gifts? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 12-02-2010, 08:42 AM - Thread Starter
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Sbx and I have only been seperated for 5 months but in my mind time doesn't matter. We are no longer a couple even though we will always be parents and will both love and care for our children.


Sbx seems to think we still need to do things together "for the sake of our children" and still be a large part of each others life.


Anyway, the point to this post is do you buy Chistmas or birthday gifts together, from both of you, or are they seperated? our children are going to be with me the morning of Christmas day and then sbx is picking them up at 3pm and going to his parents (whom he lives with). they will be with him for the next 2 days then back to the normal eow parenting time with their father.


Am I being unreasonable thinking we should be buying/giving gifts seperatly, especially as we are in different households and the boys and I will soon be downsizing drastically.

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#2 of 7 Old 12-02-2010, 10:08 AM
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We do everything separately.

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#3 of 7 Old 12-02-2010, 10:25 AM
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Agreed. Separately.

(one of the benefits of being a kid of divorce. ;) )

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#4 of 7 Old 12-02-2010, 12:37 PM
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ds1's bday gift was from both of us, a couple months after we split up.  i don't know about xmas.  honestly, it's fine with me if that's what he wants to do again.  it doesn't bother me if he wants to pitch in some money and say it's from us instead of me.  however we will not be celebrating xmas together (whereas with ds1's bday, we just had one party that we both attended) so i don't exactly even get how that would work.  maybe he's not planning to see our children for xmas - would not surprise me!


only do it if you want to. if it doesn't appeal to you, then say, "no thanks, i'd like to handle this on my own, and you can give them whatever you want when you celebrate with them at your house."

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#5 of 7 Old 12-02-2010, 12:40 PM
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We buy separately, always have.

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#6 of 7 Old 12-02-2010, 12:50 PM
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Separate. Which in our case means that dp and I buy everything for ds and ex buys nothing. DS is 7 and I think ex bought ds a Christmas gift once (actually, I think his sister bought it and put ex's name on it). One year (for ds's 6th b-day) ex's new wife bought ds a b-day gift.... and ex actually told ds that she bought it for him- not ex. eyesroll.gif Well, to be more specific- during the visit with ds ex told his wife to go to walmart and get something for ds's b-day... in front of ds so ds knew ex didn't put any thought or effort into it at all. Despite ex claiming to be father of the year now and wanting to be soooo involved with ds, he failed to even send him a b-day card in October. I highly suspect he won't get ds a Christmas gift either.

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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#7 of 7 Old 12-02-2010, 04:13 PM
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We are giving separate gifts for Christmas with the exception of one very large gift that we bought together for DS1. It's a train table and it will stay at my house, but it will be a gift from both of us. STBX will be staying here on Christmas Eve so he can be with the boys on Christmas morning, but our littles are so young that the magic of Santa and Christmas are still pretty fresh and new. Neither of us wanted to miss out on it.

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