Do you think you would be upset at this too ? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-12-2010, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Also, I did answer questions from pp .

 

Did you all not understand the answer I wrote I pay for this service and I choose the 'cheapest one' because I can not afford to pay more than 100 dollars for a housekeeping/Errand Service ?

 

I also said No it's Not a Home Maker Service, it's not through a parenting plan, and it's not through CPS.

 

 

It's something I chose for our family how hard is that to understand ?

 

All, I wanted to know if people would 'be upset at the actions of the proffessionals you all said Yes =end of the story I got my answer I was wondering .

 

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Old 12-12-2010, 03:12 PM
 
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You did not anwser all questions, just read back, but anyway.

 

In your OP you did not simply ask whether we would be angry as well - and isn't it obvious that everybody would be more than angry PAYING somebody for a job and this person does not do the job well AND critizes the client ? dizzy.gif You mixed also other information in your post about a carpet cleaning person and a picture department???? And at the same time you write that you are a low income single mom. Something is not right. And this is why people keep asking you.

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Old 12-12-2010, 05:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, people were going how can a low income single mom afford this service so I responded with it's a cheaper service and when something  that is so Cheap . You more likely end up with someone who doesn't do the job right.

 

I used the carpet cleaner and the computer people as examples of not doing the job right .

 

I used the picture people who were more into being able to do a good job even when you didn't have much money which I stated that the picture people were the Only One's Who do a Good Job for People who are low income.

 

Also, I even answered that the prices from the services vary on which company you get like I choose the cheaper company because it's the only company I can afford.  Others are too expensive .

 

I also shared the  reasons why I needed this service because when I did get the actual help it would give me peace of feeling clean for no matter how short of time it could be.

 

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Old 12-12-2010, 06:06 PM
 
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your writing is easier to understand now.  Just your phrasing in the earlier posts was very strange.  Like:

 

 

 

Quote:

As a low income mom the cleaning service is Under 100 dollars like around 55 to 75 the other house keepers range above 100 to even 350 .

 

 

That to me means that you get a break in price as a low income person.  

 

and even the first line

 

 

Quote:

I end up "supposed to have help with organizing my apartment as in Housekeeping first I was "getting that help ' but then it stopped with 'excuses oh I don't have time but i will help next week which that don't even happen then she goes okay it's time for me to help 4 wks later that's later forgotten for another 4 wks that goes on and on .

 

Even reading and rereading that it's just not making sense.  Especially with the quotations and apostrophes

 

Anyway I'm not trying to belabor the point it's just that you seem confused as to why people don't understand your situation and that in itself is, well, confusing confused.gif.  I sort of assumed you'd come back and say you had taken an ambien before you wrote it or english is not your first language or something like that. Or translation software, like someone else suggested.

 

Either way I hope your situation improves soon!


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Old 12-12-2010, 10:14 PM
 
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To me you couldn't possibly be low income if you are paying $75/week for housekeeping services. That is almost $400/month, equivalent to the rent for a cheap apartment!

 

I agree with the others that your posts are hard to understand, but regardless, if I understand correctly, you hired the cheapest errand/housekeeping service you could find, being that you are a single, low income mother. But because you chose the cheapest option, you feel that perhaps they are taking shortcuts in the quality of service, and being too opinionated/unprofessional. If someone really is threatening to call social services on you or being disrespectful of your parenting, then that person needs to be dismissed right away, and your money refunded, or at least your contract ended.

 

I hope I got your initial post right...


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Old 12-13-2010, 01:56 AM
 
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Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy View Post

To me you couldn't possibly be low income if you are paying $75/week for housekeeping services. That is almost $400/month, equivalent to the rent for a cheap apartment!

 

I agree with the others that your posts are hard to understand, but regardless, if I understand correctly, you hired the cheapest errand/housekeeping service you could find, being that you are a single, low income mother. But because you chose the cheapest option, you feel that perhaps they are taking shortcuts in the quality of service, and being too opinionated/unprofessional. If someone really is threatening to call social services on you or being disrespectful of your parenting, then that person needs to be dismissed right away, and your money refunded, or at least your contract ended.

 

I hope I got your initial post right...


All this!

The answer, as everyone else has said, is obvious. Fire the person!

Also, punctuation and proper capitalization are your friends. Get to know them and use them! smile.gif
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Old 12-13-2010, 03:27 AM
 
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I would fire this person- contact the service that sends in someone and ask for another person and file a complaint.  Also- if you need another person in write up a job request- post it at your local college and/or high school. You would be amazed at the great kind of people you get from high school students (like seniors) or college level kids. They came to my rescue when my 2nd was born and I had no help of any kind- and DH worked crazy hours.  I get the feeling that OP pays that ammount per month, not per week.


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Old 12-15-2010, 09:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks ever so much.

 

I'm not a very good writer at times and I understand how people  could misunderstand my writing now. 

 

When I wrote the examples of prices I was just showing how the prices vary between each company which I should have said I choose the less expensive one.

 

Also, the housing authority allows only people who are low income to be on Section 8 and we are on Section 8.

 

 

 

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Old 12-15-2010, 09:32 AM
 
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So where are you getting close $200-$400 a month for a personal assistant? headscratch.gif Here that would be considered "disposable income" meaning any money left at the end of month after paying for fixed costs (rent/mortgage, utilities, trnasportation) and basic costs (food, etc). A single mom who had $400 dollars "extra" each month would most likely lose their benefits.

 

I work with a transistional shelter and we can not find low income housing for a mom and 3 kids because she makes $50 too much per month qualify.She is literally living paycheck to paycheck and still share an apartment with her estranged husband.  She would love to have a couple hundred extra each month! At this point she would be better off to quit her second job and go back on state benefits or quit both and go on welfare. dizzy.gif Just crazy. 


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Old 12-15-2010, 01:27 PM
 
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I'm sorry, I'm another one who is having a hard time following your posts.  But if, as others have surmised, you are paying a woman to clean your house and this woman not only doesn't do the job that you paid her to do but also insults, criticizes and threatens you...um YES I would be upset!  But let's not focus on if you should be upset or not.  This isn't a question of being upset.  This is a question of having a backbone and, quickly and in no uncertain terms, firing this woman and reporting her to whatever agency she works for.  She can't exploit you or treat you badly if you don't let her!


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Old 12-15-2010, 02:27 PM
 
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???? You are low income, single mom, on Section 8 ??? Do you WOHM?

 

You have cleaning service and help with errands. I don't get it.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Brendan View Post

Thanks ever so much.

 

I'm not a very good writer at times and I understand how people  could misunderstand my writing now. 

 

When I wrote the examples of prices I was just showing how the prices vary between each company which I should have said I choose the less expensive one.

 

Also, the housing authority allows only people who are low income to be on Section 8 and we are on Section 8.

 

 

 



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Old 12-15-2010, 02:30 PM
 
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Mom2Brendan, you have an adorable child. The picture above your name is very cute.

 

I would also be upset in your situation. A better solution would probably be to fire the cleaning woman and just clean your home yourself. You could teach your son how to tidy his own toys and room, so that he learns how to respect the home and develops cleaning skills. Also, in this way you would not have strangers entering your home and feeling free to criticize your lifestyle.

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Old 12-15-2010, 05:26 PM
 
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I bet, if you were to advertise that you would like to hire a cleaning lady at the cost you are willing to pay, you could find someone.

 

post it on craigslist.

 

I would also see if there is a high school or college student who could use the extra income. Maybe you can hire them.

 

I noticed you had said "I'm supposed to be getting help with housekeeping" and later mentioned section 8. Did something happen, like during a section 8 inspection where your landlord said clean up and threatened you with eviction or loss of your subsidy?

 

I ask because I have worked in housing and have seen that happen. Sometimes for really ridiculous things. The rules are different for low income people, and it sucks.

 

I hope it all works out for you. hugs!

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Old 12-16-2010, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No problems with the manager here .

 

The talk  of supposed to get help with housekeeping it was about that gal who was supposed to help with housekeeping.

 

Inspections happen with the apartment every 3-6 months so I just want  to have things look good .

 

 

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Old 12-16-2010, 07:28 PM
 
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Is something like a disability keeping you from doing the cleaning yourself? What motivated you to contact the service versus doing it yourself?

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Old 12-16-2010, 08:41 PM
 
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I am disabled and I have a 13 yr old girl helping me with housework and baby care, and have friends that help me w/errands. Maybe you could ask around and see if anyone has a teenager that would enjoy helping you out that you could pay a small amount to weekly. Someone who doesn't rely on it for their livelihood.


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Old 12-16-2010, 08:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imogenlily View Post

Is something like a disability keeping you from doing the cleaning yourself? What motivated you to contact the service versus doing it yourself?



Also feel free to not answer this if it's invasive or too personal!

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Old 12-16-2010, 09:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Brendan View Post

Many times my place can get really disorganize so I just want 'extra help to do a quick clean up because it feels good to be a place that is clean for this certain amount of time then as it comes to my boy he can dirty up the living room so 'quickly ' that I nickname him The Hurricane '.

 

So other people who were my housekeepers gave me that "feeling of oh this is Clean and even Brendan goes this Feels good so then I go Lets keep it this way of course it takes him before bedtime to mess it all up again .

 

So it's something I want when I want that 'extra help' in a 'nice manner way  that is without criticizing and without assumptions on how I'm teaching my boy to clean up because people 'assume I just do it for him' and he doesn't get  a lesson in cleaning because they assume I'm doing for him.

 

I tell people You do Not know How Hard it is for Me too Get My Son too Clean he has the No Care attitude , throws fits if he loses a chance to play for the toys he didn't put away then he heads into his room dumping out things & throwing things all over his room so then his room is way messier than it was then he comes out forgetting about his other toys that he lost to just sit on the couch .

 

I will Brendan clean up room time he just looks up at me like huh huh huh huh or is in  a 'total ignore mode'.

 

It's so bad of me to get him to clean that even though I found a House Fairy thing that says it changes Total Mess Makers into Real Cleaners and that they want to Clean but I'm doubting it will work but  he's the Most part of the mess makiing so I'm willing to try to see if it will help him because if it does help him it will help me more because they have even said by that kids will even start cleaning around other places too.

 

 

 

 


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Brendan View Post

No problems with the manager here .

 

The talk  of supposed to get help with housekeeping it was about that gal who was supposed to help with housekeeping.

 

Inspections happen with the apartment every 3-6 months so I just want  to have things look good .

 

 





Quote:
Originally Posted by imogenlily View Post

Is something like a disability keeping you from doing the cleaning yourself? What motivated you to contact the service versus doing it yourself?


Highlighted her answer, imogenlily.  Sorry, but if you are on Section 8 and other benefits, you don't have the money to spend on extras like a maid.  I can understand once in a while, like when moving or something.  This is coming from someone on benefits, is a single mom and works two jobs while going to college.  It makes me seriously doubt your story.  Sorry to be so blunt, but IMHO no one who is on that much assistance should spend money on a maid because they don't want to deep clean.  Save the money, roll up some sleeves and get on it.  Use that money on purchasing a car (from what I gather from needing an errand service, you don't have one).  If you really need the help, hire a teen as others suggested. However, those in real poverty (aka in need of such assistance as Section 8) don't have the luxury of hiring regular maid and errand services. 

 

I keep coming back to this thread hoping for some explanation that goes against this logic.  I truly don't get it.

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Old 12-16-2010, 09:33 PM
 
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Everyone's situation is different. There are a lot of working people who still have & need section 8, particualry when rents are as high as they are in NYC where the person posting lives. I have had section 8 during the time I was social worker making $16 an hour with full benefits (which is a job I went to college to obtain a degree for). I also hired people to clean during times I felt overwhelmed as a full time case manager working with client's with severe mental illness' 8 hours and a day and spending time raising my 5 year old after picking him up from aftercare. I believe I paid about $45 every other week for a stretch of time just to keep it together.

 

It was a 1/3rd of my income, and my HAP was still about $300 more in a building that was mostly composed of low income people.

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Old 12-16-2010, 09:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vannienicole View Post


Quote:
Originally Posted by imogenlily View Post

Is something like a disability keeping you from doing the cleaning yourself? What motivated you to contact the service versus doing it yourself?


Highlighted her answer, imogenlily.  Sorry, but if you are on Section 8 and other benefits, you don't have the money to spend on extras like a maid. 

Yup - I did read the original posts. I should have worded my question differently. I understand why someone would want help around the house, I just didn't understand why it was a priority when things were otherwise tight? I'm on maternity leave, and only getting 55% of my normal, comfortable but not luxurious income, and I would definitely put groceries and other essentials before help around the house. Like you and other posters have stated, on limited income, essentials are often all there is money for, at least in my life.
 

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Old 12-16-2010, 09:46 PM
 
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That is why I asked if she was being threated with eviction.

I have seen a property manager I used to work for (because I needed the job...bleh), abuse this. I have seen people with a subsidy (who could lose it if evicted) be threatened with eviction if they have: unfolded clean laundry on the couch (was stated as a 'health hazard' that could cause infestaion), etc.....dry cat food on the floor outside the dish but on the placemat for the cats dish, the person doing dishes and about to take trash out being dinged for "unsanitary conditions" because 2 trash bags were tied in the kitchen while she was doing the dishes. This warrented a threat of eviction and weekly inspections, btw. These were cited as serious lease violations.

 

In that secenrio, I would say it's worth getting the help to keep housing.

 

the rules are wayyyy different when dealing with HUD and property managers. I have seen property managers completely ignore the 24 hour notice and find ways to surprise the tenant so they could 'document' lease violations this way, so they could use it against them later.

 

I no longer work in this field.

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Old 12-17-2010, 09:34 AM
 
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It doesn't really matter because we have no idea what is going on. Many people have asked Mom2Brendan which are the reasons for hiring a cleaner in the first place, accepting not been treated well, being a low income single mother and so on. But we do not get an answer. And personally I get more and more confused with every new post from her, I would really like to understand the situation.

 

Mom2Brendan, why don't you answer the questions people have asked you? Are you actually reading the posts which have been made to you?

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by skimmilf View Post

That is why I asked if she was being threated with eviction.

I have seen a property manager I used to work for (because I needed the job...bleh), abuse this. I have seen people with a subsidy (who could lose it if evicted) be threatened with eviction if they have: unfolded clean laundry on the couch (was stated as a 'health hazard' that could cause infestaion), etc.....dry cat food on the floor outside the dish but on the placemat for the cats dish, the person doing dishes and about to take trash out being dinged for "unsanitary conditions" because 2 trash bags were tied in the kitchen while she was doing the dishes. This warrented a threat of eviction and weekly inspections, btw. These were cited as serious lease violations.

 

In that secenrio, I would say it's worth getting the help to keep housing.

 

the rules are wayyyy different when dealing with HUD and property managers. I have seen property managers completely ignore the 24 hour notice and find ways to surprise the tenant so they could 'document' lease violations this way, so they could use it against them later.

 

I no longer work in this field.



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Old 12-17-2010, 10:24 AM
 
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My two cents

 

  • Fire the cleaner/errand person immediately
  • Work to declutter your home. From personal experience and from reading other people's experiences, clutter is the most likely reason that you feel overwhelmed with picking up. Look at items in a room and think "do I need this? Do we use this? When is the last time it was used? Is it just taking up space?" Decluttering is a project, so take it one step at a time. Some people (like me) prefer to tackle a specific space or room at a time and keep at it until it feels DONE - surfaces cleared, items organized, clutter sold or given away or trashed. Then move to the next space. Other people challenge themselves to remove X number of items from their home in a given time period - say, 10 items per week. Doesn't matter what room they come from, just choose 10 objects a week and sell, donate or trash them. We have a forum here dedicated to organizing and decluttering, check out the threads there and feel free to ask for input. Decluttering toys is a tricky subject, but the first thing to do there is to get rid of any toys that are broken or that your son does not play with. Having less STUFF in your house will make it easier to pick up and clean, and it will also free up more space to put things away (it's hard to pick up when things don't even have a place where they could belong).
  • Relax about your son not wanting to pick up, though of course still work with him on it. It's developmentally normal so no need to be upset with him, just keep doing what you are doing (helping him to pick up his toys). Remind him (and you'll have to remind him, he won't do it on his own and that's normal) to put toys away when he's done using them and before he takes out new ones. So if you come into a room and see a bunch of legos in a pile and he's playing with his barn set over there, remind him to put his legos away. Tell him you need his help, it's the two of you and you truly need his help to keep everything going smoothly. That makes it a positive thing, a real responsibility. Kids love to be helpful. He'll still need to be reminded anyway :)
  • If your budget allows, consider hiring a mother's helper instead of a cleaner. A mother's helper should be even less expensive. The purpose of a mother's helper would be to give you some dedicated time to get housework and/or errands done. The helper can watch your boy (at home or take him to the park) and you can tackle cleanup. I have a 5 year old and I find it so much easier to have an hour WITHOUT HER to get something done.
  • Along the lines of decluttering, consider rotating toys. Take, say, half the toys (divided in a sensible ways - each group should have cool toys so it's not like one group has all the good stuff and the other doesn't, plus of course keep pieces together so the group with the barn also has the animals that go with it, etc.) and put them in a box and put them under the bed or in the closet or wherever. Instantly you have fewer toys to contend with - but you don't have to get rid of them. Then each week or each month, switch them. Your son may balk at it initially but may come to really enjoy the rotation, since he will have more room to play with his toys, and they will feel kind of "new" when they are switched.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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Old 12-17-2010, 03:30 PM
 
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What Laohaire said. Do that.

 

I hear you saying  you feel treated badly by the cleaning lady. I agree it sounds like she is being disrespectful. Anytime you feel someone you are paying to provide a service is disrespecting you, discontinue using them. It doesn't matter what your socioeconimic status is, you deserve the same respect as anyone else and you are paying this person. get rid of her.

 

if you still feel overwhelmed, and the remaining 2/3rds of your income after paying your portion of the rent allows it, hire someone else. Someone cheaper. Possibly a mother's helper like it was suggested, or anyone you can find for a price you think is fair and reasoanable. Maybe you have a freind who would like to make some extra $ or you could barter child care for cleaning (watch a friends kid outside of your home while she cleans and throw in a Friday evening of free baby sitting for her) If this is something you feel is money well spent for your well being and helps you provide a good home for your son, do it. I do not care what the reasons are. It's your money.....just budget carefully enough so it isn't being spent unnecessarily paying a high rate just for someone to make you feel like crap. 

 

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Old 12-19-2010, 09:01 PM
 
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Quote:
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Everyone's situation is different. There are a lot of working people who still have & need section 8, particualry when rents are as high as they are in NYC where the person posting lives..


Except she said she didn't live in NYC in a post on the 2nd page... orngbiggrin.gif

I also thought Laohaire had good ideas...

Jenne


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Old 12-19-2010, 09:33 PM
 
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dizzy.gifheadscratch.gif

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Old 12-20-2010, 06:03 AM
 
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It is normal for little kids to be messy. It could be years before he understands about cleaning up. Do it with him every day anyway. One day he will understand.

 

Get rid of clutter. Most children I know have too many toys. Give or pack some away.

 

If the cleaning lady is rude, fire her,  Did your landlord make it a rule for you to hire HER? If not, fire her and get someone nicer.

 

I once had a cleaning lady when my kids were small and I had a health problem. She was rude and gossipy, telling other people stories about me, so I stopped using her.

 

I once hired a teenage girl as a mother's helper. She was rude and bossy and gave me all kinds of bad advice when I was old enough to be her mom and knew a lot more than she did. I hired her to help me, not criticize me or boss me around. I fired her too.

 

Get someone else.


Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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