Do you think you would be upset at this too ? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 57 Old 12-08-2010, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I end up "supposed to have help with organizing my apartment as in Housekeeping first I was "getting that help ' but then it stopped with 'excuses oh I don't have time but i will help next week which that don't even happen then she goes okay it's time for me to help 4 wks later that's later forgotten for another 4 wks that goes on and on .

 

Then when she does come into the apartment all she does is go tsk tsk and critcize my cleaning habbits or making 'assumptions on how I'm having my son clean or pick up his toys saying I proably just do it for him that way he doesn't really do it (Not true ). Nearly having a headache even stating that if I don't get this place more 'sanitary you could lose your apartment or even your son but Hey She's Suppose to do the House Keeping but no when she does 'actually come in she critcizes how I clean my apartment even the Way I mop she goes That's not Right .

 

Then critcizes how I end up getting my son something from the 'store ' thinking it's ridicolous even another lady stated that .

 

I go it's just something that I like to suprise my boy with because I like to see him 'smile because he ended up with a 'suprise' .

 

 

 

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#2 of 57 Old 12-08-2010, 07:23 PM
 
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mama i am totally confused. your post makes no sense to me.

 

who is the she? is this your mom?

 

i understand she promises help, but doesnt. instead criticizes and then threatens the authorities.

 

why is she in your life so much?

 

if your house was messy but clean i would have no problems. i would be mad too.

 

no one has the right to criticise my gift giving. they do have the right to speak but not criticise.

 

i would NOT be upset with her not keeping her promise. lots of people in the world who have lots to say but v. little action. i would put 'her' in that category. so once i figure out she is not going to help i would just ignore her offer of helping clean.

 

'she' is being too critical. so i would limit the time you spend with her until you can learn to ignore her comments.


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#3 of 57 Old 12-08-2010, 07:34 PM
 
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I'm confused too, by the specifics... Regardless, 'she' shouldn't criticize and chalk that up to "help." Sounds like she's being overbearing? Idk... Wish I could offer more help...


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#4 of 57 Old 12-08-2010, 08:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This lady is not my mom she's with the cleaning /errand service. I got signed up with them and this one lady comes every once a 'week' her job is to help with the housekeeping but she doesn't .so she will critcize my housekeeping then not even do 'what she's supposed to do showing an obviously headache over our apartment then goes on and on bout it how I could lose my apartment which by the way I passed our apartment and housing authority inspection ) plus even mentioning of losing my boy so it's this kind of talk I have heard from people before.

 

 

Her errand thing is take me to the 'store if needed to be but she  critcizes me on getting things for my son.

 

I want to 'be able to find another person for housekeeping/errand thing because I'm tired of people like that !

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#5 of 57 Old 12-08-2010, 09:40 PM
 
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jaw.gif you are PAYING her!!!!

 

sheesh i would complain to the service adn have her replaced PRONTO!!!!

 

if you dont already have it you should have a contract with teh service with exactly what you expect out of them. 

 

i am just flabbergasted. extremely unprofessional. 


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#6 of 57 Old 12-09-2010, 11:34 AM
 
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In the words of Donald Trump, "You're fired." disappointed.gif


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#7 of 57 Old 12-09-2010, 01:30 PM
 
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You are paying her to criticize you?!?!?!?

 

Time to get a back bone and complain to her boss about her unprofessional behavior.  And demand a refund since she really didn't do what she was hired to do. 

 

And I would hire someone else, and make it clear to them that they are not to make one comment about how you spend your money or clean your place, to actually do what she is hired to do. 

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#8 of 57 Old 12-09-2010, 07:43 PM
 
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When I was in high school, my family rented a house that came with housekeepers, but my mom was very OCD about cleaning and chores. She fired them because she didn't like their style. Anyway, you can definitely lodge a complaint with the company. I would suggest going with a new company altogether because it seems like this place you use might have a bad rap.


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#9 of 57 Old 12-09-2010, 08:08 PM
 
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Is this person coming through your state's homemaker services? That is the *only* thing that could possibly make sense about what you are describing. If it is homemaker services their goal is to teach you how to keep house, grocery shop, and such. (I am *NOT* saying you need this type of assistance but that that is what that type of assistance is for.) If she is with your state's services perhaps you could let them know you don't need her or come up with things you would like to learn differently (again, not saying you don't know how to do this stuff but sometimes learning a different way is helpful.) and ask her to help you with those things.

If this isn't homemaker services, heck yeah fire her!

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#10 of 57 Old 12-09-2010, 08:15 PM
 
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I'm still not understanding.  Is this some kind of social services/benefit thing?  Or literally you opened the phone book and hired a housekeeper?


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#11 of 57 Old 12-09-2010, 10:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Not a homemaker services it's a 'service that's with housekeeping and to do errand shopping . She does only the errand shopping as in take me to the 'store I shop' she's supposed to do housekeeping but instead she doesn't and that was in my contract with her .

 

So I'm definetly going to find someone else and there isn't many that are good because many people around here are too lazy and greedy   Many people that live around here in this city they will either 'slightly help ' like for example our carpet cleaner I chose was either I got a 'real lazy person ' because the carpet didn't even look like it was shampooed plus it even mentioned in their brochures that they have stain removal used during their carpet cleaning the guy goes no I didn't use any stain removal thing but if you do want it that will cost you extra 300 dollars. I even requested for a 'refund from their job that looked like a No job it just seemed as if he sprayed water and called it good they said we will bring someone else over so then I asked would I have to Pay Him to do that job they go yes so then I go no thanks .

 

Just like how this person who is with this computer company he wanted nearly 500 dollars to pay for repairing my old computer so then when he didn't get the Money he left and sent a Company Letter to me saying Don't contact this company again .

 

So the only way Many company areas that will 'actually do what they Have to do is by being a "millionaire'  or close to one but I'm just a low income single mother which people go with Less

or No Effort .

 

I only found 2 people who were actually flexible but that was in Picture departments .

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#12 of 57 Old 12-10-2010, 01:04 PM
 
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Are they listed with the BBB (Better Business Bureau)? You could file a complaint to BBB. Also you may want to look through Yelp, as well as BBB, and similar sites for a better service.

 

They seem like they are potentially discriminating against you because of your socioeconomic status, just because you are a low income, single momma who needs a housekeeper, doesn't mean you should get any less good of services from a company.


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#13 of 57 Old 12-10-2010, 02:51 PM
 
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I am completely confused confused.gif... What is this all about? You are a low income single mother but can pay a housekeeper which is not doing her job?

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#14 of 57 Old 12-10-2010, 04:25 PM
 
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headscratch.gif

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#15 of 57 Old 12-10-2010, 04:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pupsnelda View Post

I am completely confused confused.gif... What is this all about? You are a low income single mother but can pay a housekeeper which is not doing her job?



I'm glad I'm not the only one confused!  (This isn't even my forum. I clicked on it from new posts without realizing where it was.  But now I'm really curious).

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#16 of 57 Old 12-11-2010, 12:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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As a low income mom the cleaning service is Under 100 dollars like around 55 to 75 the other house keepers range above 100 to even 350 .

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#17 of 57 Old 12-11-2010, 12:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Brendan View Post

As a low income mom the cleaning service is Under 100 dollars like around 55 to 75 the other house keepers range above 100 to even 350 .



Then this is something that is state subsidized then?  It's not clear to me if this person is supposed to have a vested interest in your living conditions.  Like it's part of a parenting plan or something?


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#18 of 57 Old 12-11-2010, 01:08 PM
 
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I still do not get it? Why do you even need a housekeeper? Why is it so cheap?

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#19 of 57 Old 12-11-2010, 02:13 PM
 
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Who pays the housekeeper, you yourself, or social services or CPS or something?  

 

If you are getting the housekeeper yourself, then yes, immediately fire her and find someone else.  

 

If this is someone that has been sent to you because of your getting Disability payments or Social Services or a parenting plan of some sort due to a CPS action, then you can speak to your case worker but I'm not sure that much will happen.  

 

If this lady is there to teach you how to budget your money every month, what to buy, how to have enough healthy food every month, how to keep clothing, diapers, etc. stocked, then unless you can show her that you are good with your money and buying and preparing enough healthy meals for the entire month on your budget, then perhaps you can't afford those little treats you want to get or perhaps the little treats you get are too expensive and you need to think of something else to give your son, like baking cookies with him and letting him help decorate them.  

 

Your posts really aren't making much sense and if you could clarify what is going on, I'm sure many posters would love to give you more ideas and suggestions.

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#20 of 57 Old 12-11-2010, 02:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Many times my place can get really disorganize so I just want 'extra help to do a quick clean up because it feels good to be a place that is clean for this certain amount of time then as it comes to my boy he can dirty up the living room so 'quickly ' that I nickname him The Hurricane '.

 

So other people who were my housekeepers gave me that "feeling of oh this is Clean and even Brendan goes this Feels good so then I go Lets keep it this way of course it takes him before bedtime to mess it all up again .

 

So it's something I want when I want that 'extra help' in a 'nice manner way  that is without criticizing and without assumptions on how I'm teaching my boy to clean up because people 'assume I just do it for him' and he doesn't get  a lesson in cleaning because they assume I'm doing for him.

 

I tell people You do Not know How Hard it is for Me too Get My Son too Clean he has the No Care attitude , throws fits if he loses a chance to play for the toys he didn't put away then he heads into his room dumping out things & throwing things all over his room so then his room is way messier than it was then he comes out forgetting about his other toys that he lost to just sit on the couch .

 

I will Brendan clean up room time he just looks up at me like huh huh huh huh or is in  a 'total ignore mode'.

 

It's so bad of me to get him to clean that even though I found a House Fairy thing that says it changes Total Mess Makers into Real Cleaners and that they want to Clean but I'm doubting it will work but  he's the Most part of the mess makiing so I'm willing to try to see if it will help him because if it does help him it will help me more because they have even said by that kids will even start cleaning around other places too.

 

 

 

 

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#21 of 57 Old 12-11-2010, 02:59 PM
 
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headscratch.gif Your posts make no sense at all.

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#22 of 57 Old 12-11-2010, 03:38 PM
 
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OP, are you using a translator widget?   Your post is quite difficult to follow.  I have read other posts by you, and they were much easier to understand.  

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#23 of 57 Old 12-11-2010, 04:33 PM
 
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OP i am going to assume english is your second language. i wonder too if you ARE in the USA? maybe other place. 

 

first from your picture your son being messy is TOTALLY AGE APPROPRIATE. 

 

your son not wanting to clean at his age IS TOTALLY NORMAL.

 

trying to keep a completely picked up house with a toddler is NOT NORMAL without help. 

 

are you sure you need the extra help - if they are going to be so judgemental.

 

i continue to be confused.

 

if you are paying and buying help, you are under no obligation to keep that person.

 

if you are getting social service then you can complain, but mostly you might have to shut up and bear it.

 

if all you need help is to help you pick up toys, and put things away... then i think a high school student helping you while you are home is a better bet. instead of a service. 

 

my 8 year old DOES clean but somedays she is not in the mood too. so i cant imagine a toddler wanting to clean. 

 

i am going to go read your other threads to see if i can make sense of what you are saying or find out more about you. 

 

---------------------------------------8888888888888888888888------------------------------------------------------

 

ok OP i just read all threads started by you.

 

some helpful suggestions.

 

type a question in your title as you did here for all your posts.

 

i see you are in NY with a 6 year old. it seems to me you are hiring private help just to help you with chores. because you get overwhelmed it seems like.

 

but the help you hire - are criticizing and not really helping. i am wondering how much they are actually prejudicial against you and thus not treating you respectfully because you dont speak english very well. AND low income too. 

 

go with high school students. get help with things in the house rather than driving help. take the subway to the grocery store and then take a cab back. 

 

and yes btw - it IS hard to get a 6 year old boy to do things. esp. clean up. or to keep clothes on at home. or wear pjs. or stop farting jokes. dd is 8. she still laughs at farty jokes but doesnt make them so much nowadays. 

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#24 of 57 Old 12-11-2010, 09:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not in New York and English is not my second language.

 

No idea why you all are confused by my posts.

 

I'm with an Errand Service where a person comes in to clean and then takes you to the store for you To Shop On Your Own.

 

It's not a goverment thing and it's not a CPS thing.

 

All I asked Would you be upset if someone who is supposed to clean critcize your cleaning including making 'talks like this kind of mess will make you lose your apartment or lose your son ?

 

Also, Would you be upset if someone kept complaining of how you shouldn't buy your son something everytime you go to the store ?

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#25 of 57 Old 12-12-2010, 01:40 AM
 
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I am still confused but anyway ....

 

Yes, I would be upset. And the next step for me would be firing the cleaner, hire somebody else or clean MYSELF.

 

Would be nice if you actually answered the question from pp, so people would understand you better.

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#26 of 57 Old 12-12-2010, 04:22 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pupsnelda View Post

I am still confused but anyway ....

 

Yes, I would be upset. And the next step for me would be firing the cleaner, hire somebody else or clean MYSELF.

 

Would be nice if you actually answered the question from pp, so people would understand you better.


yes.  you keep ignoring the questions people ask.  it makes no sense that a low income single mom would have a house cleaner/errand  service or why you would get a reduced rate just for being a single mom.  If you reread your OP you might see why we're confused.  I don't understand why you use quotations in places where I don't think you're quoting or capitalizing, etc.  It really reads like you're using a translating software.  People are trying to help you.  Maybe you're not really low income?  I don't know something is not adding up.


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#27 of 57 Old 12-12-2010, 10:17 AM
 
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Can't the agency send someone else?
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#28 of 57 Old 12-12-2010, 11:16 AM
 
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I have to say that I am really confused, too. I keep coming back hoping to offer a reply, but with each update I'm not exactly sure what is going on, so I can't!
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#29 of 57 Old 12-12-2010, 11:48 AM
 
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i think i might be seeing a light here.

 

so this was meant to vent?

 

so you trying to get some housekeeping help here and instead of helping the housekeepers are criticising.

 

yet i am not quite sure how to contribute - which is one of the reason for the confusion.

 

the answer is obvious. you hire someone. they dont do the work and disrespect you. you fire them or ask for another person. i am not sure why you would even make a post except to ask for commiseration. but this is not an inlaw kinda thing which keeps on happening and you cant really do anything about it. you can v. easily do something about it. 


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#30 of 57 Old 12-12-2010, 11:58 AM
 
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Seems like the person isn't being helpful at all.  You'd probably be better off without her.  

 

Scary that she's saying things about you losing your kid --- if I'm not misinterpreting.  Does that mean she intends to report you to CPS?

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