UPDATE: X Mail Forwarding - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 12-09-2010, 07:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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HE'S TRYING F-ING SET ME UP!!!!

 

I realized that the notice I received in the mail was actually not my X forwarding mail TO my address but forwarding it FROM my address. Note that I receive my mail at my mother's address. When I forwarded my mail, I received the same notice (given to me at original hearing by his attorney) saying that my mail is being forwarded to my moms, from X's address.

 

This was the same notice I received the other day with my X's name and my residential address. Which means he falsely forwarded his own mail from my house to his house, which was never coming to my house in the firstplace.

 

According to my old attorney, this is considered a fed offense, because he falsely filled out  USPS form. Secondly, I don't have anything to worry about because he has no proof I tried to fwd his mail, which I didn't anyway.

 

UGH. angry.gif


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#2 of 25 Old 12-09-2010, 10:24 PM
 
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I am confused.  What would he gain by that?

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#3 of 25 Old 12-10-2010, 12:18 AM
 
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That sucks! This is total manipulation :(  Hope you can get this guy out of your life soon...


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#4 of 25 Old 12-10-2010, 06:59 AM
 
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if he forwarded his mail to her house, he could intercept her bills (causing her to miss payments), any checks she may have coming (causing her to suffer financially), and most importantly get letters from her lawyer, to try to gain information to his advantage.  another thing he could gain is that he may just get off on making things difficult for her.

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#5 of 25 Old 12-10-2010, 10:38 AM
 
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Originally Posted by doubledutch View Post

if he forwarded his mail to her house, he could intercept her bills (causing her to miss payments), any checks she may have coming (causing her to suffer financially), and most importantly get letters from her lawyer, to try to gain information to his advantage.  another thing he could gain is that he may just get off on making things difficult for her.


A good reason to get all bills put back in your own name, if possible.

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#6 of 25 Old 12-10-2010, 10:42 AM
 
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lol, i mean her mail to his house.  (which is what he's doing, right?)

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#7 of 25 Old 12-10-2010, 12:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry this is so confusing. No, he is doing the reverse. He is forwarding his mail from my house to his house. He is trying to make it look like I forwarded his mail to my house. This a federal felony, which I have no reason to commit. He is trying to manipulate the system, and screw with me without violating the restraining order. However, I have not forwarded any mail except my own, and that goes to my mom's house.

 

A similar situation occurred when a former linebacker for the 49er's had forwarded his ex girlfriend's mail to his home. She had previously filed a TRO, and then he violated it by forwarding her mail. X is trying to make me out to be like the linebacker and claim that I am forwarding his mail to my address.

 

 


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#8 of 25 Old 12-10-2010, 12:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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P.S. Either way he is filing a false claim. If he really thought I forwarded his mail, he should have called the cops, because I'd be in violation. But obviously, I didn't. (I'm not that stupid and I would never do that in the first place). He is going to need some big fat proof in order to pass this off with the judge. I really hope he tries. Pfft. Reminds me I have to let my attorney know.


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#9 of 25 Old 12-10-2010, 12:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh and, I do all my bills paperlessly. :D


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#10 of 25 Old 12-10-2010, 01:48 PM
 
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INSANE. Hope he doesn't get away with it.


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#11 of 25 Old 12-10-2010, 04:32 PM
 
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So does this mean he forged your signature to do that?  It's really stupid to tamper with mail because then you are playing with the big boys, the Feds.  I hope this really backfires on him.

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#12 of 25 Old 12-10-2010, 04:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Theia View Post

So does this mean he forged your signature to do that?  It's really stupid to tamper with mail because then you are playing with the big boys, the Feds.  I hope this really backfires on him.



Nope. He forwarded his own mail, completely unnecessarily, so he signed it himself, or did it online himself. It most likely will backfire, as I assume he's doing it just to be a you-know-what.


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#13 of 25 Old 12-10-2010, 04:53 PM
 
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I don't get it. He forwarded his mail from your house to his. How is that problematic? Unless he is giving your address as his to pretend like he lives with you... I must be missing something.


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#14 of 25 Old 12-11-2010, 02:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It's problematic because he's trying to say that I forwarded his mail. He's basically trying to make a false accusation. He and his attorney are trying to come up with the most ridiculous allegations, and obviously they are false. So, ultimately, it ISN'T problematic, but upsetting because he's tying to get me in trouble and potentially getting himself in trouble, without breaking the rules.


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#15 of 25 Old 12-11-2010, 09:55 AM
 
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I guess I still don't get what the accusation would be I guess. What is the problem with his mail going to where he lives?

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#16 of 25 Old 12-11-2010, 10:29 AM
 
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Originally Posted by montlake View Post

I guess I still don't get what the accusation would be I guess. What is the problem with his mail going to where he lives?



 He forwarded his own mail to HER house and then re-forwarded it to HIS house. He's trying to make it look like SHE was trying to get his mail for whatever reason.


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#17 of 25 Old 12-11-2010, 05:05 PM
 
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am i missing where she said he forwarded his mail TO her house?  I only saw that he FWD mail FROM her house.

 

Either way, if he filled out the paper it required a signature, if you do it online they charge your CC a $1 fee so either way if he did something wrong, his name is attached
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by montlake View Post

I guess I still don't get what the accusation would be I guess. What is the problem with his mail going to where he lives?



 He forwarded his own mail to HER house and then re-forwarded it to HIS house. He's trying to make it look like SHE was trying to get his mail for whatever reason.




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#18 of 25 Old 12-11-2010, 06:19 PM
 
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I actually misread...He's forwarding mail from her house thats "his", but he never had mail going there in the first place.


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#19 of 25 Old 12-12-2010, 07:24 AM
 
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That seems like an awfully random convoluted thing to try to set someone up for. Maybe he didn't receive a piece of mail at some point and he thought/or someone planted the thought that maybe you were forwarding his mail to you? People get paranoid and accusatory during and after rough break-ups. But maybe for whatever reason he suspected you of doing it and so he put a forwarding order in to the post office to try to reverse it? That just seems more likely than coming up with some master plan to "set you up" for some kind of mail fraud?? I am sorry if I missed another post but has he actually made some accusation about this? Or are you trying to anticipate whatever BS he might be planning?

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#20 of 25 Old 12-12-2010, 10:09 AM
 
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Given what I know about crazy abuse guys, this kind of ridiculous game is right up Crazy Abusive Guy Alley. Don't try to understand abusive guys through the lens of normal humans -- it'll just make your brain explode.


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#21 of 25 Old 12-12-2010, 10:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *MamaJen* View Post

Given what I know about crazy abuse guys, this kind of ridiculous game is right up Crazy Abusive Guy Alley. Don't try to understand abusive guys through the lens of normal humans -- it'll just make your brain explode.



truedat.gifThis is so true. If I had a nickel for every time I uttered "Maybe he . . . " regarding my STBX, I'd be able to pay my attorney double what she asks. The only thing that does make sense to me is that STBX, and I imagine other abusive UAVs, probably sit around daily dwelling on how much you & I've wronged them and how they can turn the tables on us. I wouldn't put anything past them, especially if it falls into the "it's not blatantly cruel, but it's really odd and obviously not nice and will probably explode in my face" category.


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#22 of 25 Old 12-13-2010, 12:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bananabee View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by *MamaJen* View Post

Given what I know about crazy abuse guys, this kind of ridiculous game is right up Crazy Abusive Guy Alley. Don't try to understand abusive guys through the lens of normal humans -- it'll just make your brain explode.



truedat.gifThis is so true. If I had a nickel for every time I uttered "Maybe he . . . " regarding my STBX, I'd be able to pay my attorney double what she asks. The only thing that does make sense to me is that STBX, and I imagine other abusive UAVs, probably sit around daily dwelling on how much you & I've wronged them and how they can turn the tables on us. I wouldn't put anything past them, especially if it falls into the "it's not blatantly cruel, but it's really odd and obviously not nice and will probably explode in my face" category.


 

I could give a guarantee that he is sitting there thinking up new ways to *not* violate the TRO. nut.gif (When in fact he's cutting corners and bending the rules.)

 

I'm sorry this mail thing is still confusing some people, however I will re-explain:

1) He nor I forwarded any mail to my current residence.

2) He forwarded his mail back to his own house, from my current residence. (Note item #1)

3) This means he is potentially trying claim that I forwarded his mail. (This would be, on my part, a federal offense.)

4) As everyone has said, he has no proof. Therefore its not a real foreseeable problem.


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#23 of 25 Old 12-13-2010, 12:38 PM
 
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Could you file a complaint about him with the post office? Ask them to make sure none of his mail goes to your house? Or, I guess what I would do is contact my lawyer and ask her to write him a letter describing what he's doing and asking him to stop? That way, if he makes a stink about it later, it's documented that you were aware and handled the situation. 


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#24 of 25 Old 12-13-2010, 08:07 PM
 
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I just responded to your other post and wanted to see more of the history here. Points that jumped out to me......

 

 

    His attorney can't lie and doesn't want to risk his reputation doing so. His attorney doesn't bear a grudge against you.

 

    There is no paper trail showing proof positive that you forwarded his mail so no judge is going to believe that.

 

   Why are you screwed if he getsa TRO against you?

 

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#25 of 25 Old 12-14-2010, 10:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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People have already pointed out to me that the judge will be unlikely to grant particular things he requested like, paying his $5k in attorney fees, or being enrolled in a BIP (because of past therapy issues??). I'm just afraid she will.

 

Oh and his attorney will lie. She did so at the original hearing, saying I threatened a witness, but had no evidence (and I didn't! I was with a friend the whole night!).


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