Going to Court for Child Support Enforcement? - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-23-2010, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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X and I have been going through child support enforcement for about 2 years now to deal with CS payments (this is one of those goverment agencies that i really feel blessed to have in my life!!).  He used to just pay sporadically, but now hasn't paid for a really long time, and I just got a letter in the mail saying there will be a court hearing of me vs him for his non-payment.  It says it is optional for me to go (I'm assuming the letter he received said it was mandatory for him to go).  Anyone dealt with going to court for CSE?  Is there any benefit to me going?  Or should I just let the court handle it?

 

My worry is that if I am there, he will make a stink directly at me, because he just doesn't understand *why* he should have to pay child support at all, so I'm afraid to be embarrassed by him yelling at me in a court room about why he feels I'm not worthy of receiving child support.  If it's not going to make me look bad to the court, i'd rather not be there!


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Old 12-23-2010, 03:40 PM
 
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I always went, DCSE had a rep as well but with me being there I was able to provide info to them such as where he maybe employed, where he maybe living ect.  Info he wouldnt willingly give the court.  Its amazing how flippiant my sons father's memory became in court.  I never spoke directly to my sons father all communication was with the DCSE rep or the judge.  Let your XH make a fool of himself, he's going to do that if you are there or not.  You need to go and show an interest for DCSE as well as the court and let your XH know in no uncertain terms that this is SERIOUS stuff and you intend to be there.  You 'show' this interest by appearing at the hearing.

 

Good luck.


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Old 12-23-2010, 07:39 PM
 
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If he behaves as you describe in court, before the judge, I'd wager that he's the one who's going to end up being embarassed.

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Old 12-23-2010, 09:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by root*children View Post

so I'm afraid to be embarrassed by him yelling at me in a court room about why he feels I'm not worthy of receiving child support.  If it's not going to make me look bad to the court, i'd rather not be there!



I'm sure they get that ALL the time from the non-paying NCP. And it won't make you look bad, it will just make him look bad. Don't even worry about it. If he thinks he doesn't have to pay child support, obviously he's a little nut.gif which means, if anything, his ranting and yelling would just be entertaining and make him look horrid. Don't be embarrassed...unfortunately, if he acts like that, he probably won't feel embarrassed either, though that's a matter of his wonkiness, not because he shouldn't be embarrassed.

 

I, personally, would be delighted to go to a hearing like that. I would love to hear what ridiculous things my ex had to say so I'd have some interesting stories to go home with (and post here!). orngtongue.gif


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Old 12-29-2010, 04:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, you all bring up great points - though I can't say I am looking forward to going and hearing all the BS he will spew - I've heard it all before - yelled at me.  in front of the kids.  in front of my friends or my house, or texted to me 20 x a day.  I really hate hearing all the BS over and over, he's a very hateful person that has no reasoning skills, so terribly hard to communicate with. 

 

Anyhow, for those of you who've been to these court hearings, what am I to expect?  I mean, what's the purpose of it?  He already knows he's supposed to be paying child support - it's been set up for a some years now, so that's not new news to him.  Are they going to try to lower the price to try to get him to pay?  Or threaten jail?  Or set up payment plans? or??? 

 

I'm curious also what happens if he decides not to show up (it is optional for me, but mandatory for him).  It is a very likely possibility that he won't go.

 

I do appreciate the advice about having his info handy.  Through that whole "it's a small world" thing, my SO's work buddy is good friends with ex's current boss.  And one of my dear friends is in a study group with ex's landlord, so I could definitely get some phone numbers and such for the court.


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Old 12-30-2010, 08:35 AM
 
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If he is in arrears, then they may set up something like a withholding order so his paychecks are garnished to pay off the back child support plus interest. Here I'm pretty sure they can take up to half your paycheck to pay child support. They can also garnish all of his income tax return to pay back CS. This is why it's important to have employment information.

 

They probably won't lower his CS since he owes so much money, they'll probably actually increase it. My ex was behind on his CS for his first son when we were married, and he had to pay an extra hundred a month to start getting caught up, and our tax returns went straight to his ex.

 

And ignore him when you're there. Don't even look at him. Let him dig his own grave. No one is going to feel sympathetic to him if he rants and raves (they probably don't already since he's not paying CS but still).

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