DD has been hidden from her fathers family almost completely until yesterday. i contacted his ex wife and told her who i was. she has been wonderful and is also going through legal battles with him on behalf of her son, dd's half brother. She is totally on board with having the kids get to know one another and be in each others lives. when i read that in her email i just cried and cried tears of joy.
I found out through her asking around after i told her about us that he has told no one and planned on keeping it that way forever. i contacted his father by email yesterday and called his mother today. his mother was shocked and she kind of said its for me to deal with with her son and she can't do anything. she assumed dd was a one night stand ( she wasn't but we weren't in a serious relationship either.. long story but he used me and tossed me aside while i was very vulnerable) and told me it was my choice to have a baby he didn't want, insinuating i could have just aborted dd or given her up. i really wasn't expecting that. i don't know what i was expecting, but it wasnt that. i feel she was rather cold and callous but i am trying to understand i completely shocked her and this is a lot of information to handle and with that in mind she may have just wanted to defend and protect her son in her parental nature.
my intention in calling was just letting dd's extended family know that she exists, and giving them the option to get to know her in what ever way they wanted (granted i was comfortable with it) or not. so her brother will be in her life and i am over joyed for that, and the grandparents we have yet to see.
i got confirmation from her fathers ex wife about his hiding his income, she is working on proving it too. he just bought a new house, has a new truck and all kinds of fancy stuff and i live on less than 1300$ a month and got 17$ (no typo) awarded for child support based on his complete fabrication of a 9000$ income.
this is more about trying to have dd have a larger family than it is about the money, but wow the amount of CS i would get would be like 500$ a month and that could change how we live on such a huge level- i could actually pay my bills... :(
oh and DD's fathers new girlfriend and mother to his 3rd kid knew about DD all along and wanted her to stay hidden and said she didnt count as his child since we werent in a relationship. he's feeding her some crap about how i was a one night stand who he doesnt even know and had no clue about DD until 1 year ago, which is a lie. he knew when i was i month pregnant.