...thinking of leaving teenager home alone for the weekend - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 09:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Please help.

I'm a single mother and very overdue for a grown-up vacation. Some of my girlfriends are planning a trip to Vegas for the weekend. Would it be inappropiat to leave my 17 year old teenage daughter alone for the weekend. She is very mature and will be turning 18 in 3 months=she's aleady been accepted to the Universty of her choice for the upcoming fall school year. I am RN and have left her home alone for the occasional overnight shifts at the hospital(only 10 minutes away). Our neighborhood is very safe and she has alot of common sense. She doesn't drive or party and based on her personality and maturity I think that she would be fine. Does anyone have any experience with this or advice for me. We have a close family friend only a few minutes away who would be able to check in on her. She doesn't want to go to grandma's house and would look forward to the opportunity to use laze around, read, and not fight with me for the computer.

 

All advice welcome,

 

Concerned in Michigan

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#2 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 09:34 AM
 
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i would say yes, but then again i moved out at 17 smile.gif


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#3 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 09:37 AM
 
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I think it's fine.  My parents left me home alone for a week or so when I was 15 or 16.  No biggie.


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#4 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 09:44 AM
 
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only you can judge, not some strangers on the Internet.  You might get some great BTDT stories but ultimately only you know

 

  • if your daughter is responsible and mature
  • if her friends are responsible and mature
  • how she will handle herself in an emergency-fire, flood, break-ins.  Will she panic? have you ever role played?
  • how she will handle if "things get out of hand" ie:  she or her friend's post on FB/My Space, text, etc that you are out town and a party starts that she didn't plan or even want.  Can she handle the peer pressure? Is she willing to ask for help (ie the family friends, a close neighbor, even the police)

 

Personally an almost 18 year old should be able to be left alone, espeically if you have been preparing her for it and she feel ready for it.

 

My parents often trusted me home alone and whew!  the things I got into would make your hair curl.  My brother on the other hand always followed rules. Not two 17 years old are alike.


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#5 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 09:44 AM
 
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I think if your DD is comfortable about it I would go ahead. Hope you have fun! Las Vegas for a girls weekend sounds like a blast to me!

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#6 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 10:17 AM
 
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You are legally responsible for anything her friends, or even acquaintances and friends of friends, might do in your home. For instance deaths due to drinking and driving could result in a lawsuit where you lose your home (if you own.)

 

For me, this is not worth it.

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#7 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 10:29 AM
 
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Oh my goodness, seriously? She is almost 18 for crying out loud.  Man, our society is messed up if a 17 year old can't take care of themselves for a weekend.  And, it's a sad state of affairs that we have to live in such fear of lawsuits over stuff  that might happen. 

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You are legally responsible for anything her friends, or even acquaintances and friends of friends, might do in your home. For instance deaths due to drinking and driving could result in a lawsuit where you lose your home (if you own.)

 

For me, this is not worth it.




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#8 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 11:24 AM
 
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I agree with Hey Mama!  If she is a responsible girl, it seems absolutely reasonable to me that you be able to go away for a weekend and leave her alone.  Go, and enjoy yourself!

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Oh my goodness, seriously? She is almost 18 for crying out loud.  Man, our society is messed up if a 17 year old can't take care of themselves for a weekend.  And, it's a sad state of affairs that we have to live in such fear of lawsuits over stuff  that might happen. 

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You are legally responsible for anything her friends, or even acquaintances and friends of friends, might do in your home. For instance deaths due to drinking and driving could result in a lawsuit where you lose your home (if you own.)

 

For me, this is not worth it.


 



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#9 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 01:10 PM
 
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My parents left me for about a month when I was 17yo, when they went to Europe. I think 17yo can deal with a weekend by themselves.


It's complicated.
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#10 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 01:17 PM
 
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My mother used to leave me and my younger sisters for a week at a time when we were teens. No harm was done, and we improved our cooking and organizational skills.

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#11 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 04:44 PM
 
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My parents left us to go to Mexico.  If you're worried about her having a party when you're gone, tell the neighbors that you're concerned and have them listen for anything crazy.  I wouldn't worry though, if she's responsible and mature for her age she'll be fine.

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#12 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 07:46 PM
 
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Well, would you let her stay alone in your house if she were 18? I mean, if she's horrifically irresponsible or handicapped in some way, you wouldn't, but if she's a healthy and reasonable human being, it should be no problem. What situations might arise wherein your presence would be necessary and useful? Can any of those not be dealt with by the family that lives a few minutes away?

 

Anyway, if she's leaving home soon, the practice would be good for her.

 

My parents left me home alone for two weeks when I was 14. (Though I did have the dogs home with me.) I wouldn't be surprised if that was illegal, but otherwise, there was no good reason why they shouldn't have done so. It was a fairly pleasant two weeks. It was winter break, so I just stayed at home the whole time. My grandmother lived probably a 10 minute drive away, and I was told to call her if there was some emergency.  I was told to not open the door for any strangers, but if I remember right, I could have friends over (but I didn't--I wasn't going to ruin my two weeks of solitude by having my schoolmates in the house!).

 

On the other hand, I think there were times when I was much younger, e.g. single-digits, where I'd be home alone for hours at a time and was totally used to it, which sounds like it's not the case for your DD, so I guess you have to use your judgement as to whether you think she's going to have a panic attack or something.

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#13 of 15 Old 01-03-2011, 08:36 PM
 
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For me, it would depend on how she felt about it and how comfortable I would be doing it.  If I felt she was a responsible 17 year old with a good head on her shoulders and she was okay with it, I would have no qualms. 

 

For a bit of perspective, I had been running my own home for three years by that age and had an almost 2 year old son.  However, everyone has different levels of maturity.

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#14 of 15 Old 01-04-2011, 05:56 AM
 
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Why not send her to a friend's house for the weekend? Or wait 3 mos? I personally would not risk it because there's just too much at stake, and it's for your recreation, rather than medical purposes or something unavoidable.


Living happily and embracing adventures.
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#15 of 15 Old 01-04-2011, 06:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey Mama! View Post



Oh my goodness, seriously? She is almost 18 for crying out loud.  Man, our society is messed up if a 17 year old can't take care of themselves for a weekend.  And, it's a sad state of affairs that we have to live in such fear of lawsuits over stuff  that might happen. 


 


My thoughts, exactly.

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