I'll officially be divorced Monday. - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 4 Old 01-04-2011, 10:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I got the call from my lawyer today.  Our paperwork will be signed by the judge Monday and I'll be divorced.  This sucks.  I don't really know what to say.  I mean, it's been 3 years in the making, it's not like it's a surprise.  I wish I wasn't so sad.  I'm having such a hard time with it.  Trying to keep busy but there's not enough to keep my mind from racing.  It doesn't make much sense but I think it sucks even more because I have 3 kids and I'll be 30 in a few months and I'm having a major crisis because of it.  Like, divorced, 30, 3 kids. . . . . . .. life as I know it feels over.  Is that irrational?  I guess I just needed to type it out and feel sad.  I don't even really know what to say about it.  I didn't want this divorce.


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#2 of 4 Old 01-05-2011, 02:42 PM
 
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hugs to you, justmama!  I can sympathize with feeling like life as you know it is over.  It...your "old" life...is over in many ways, but that also leaves room for many wonderful beginnings and opportunities to spring up in your new life.

 

I have to remind myself of that often!  Sometimes it helps me to think of my parents' life.  They had done many things before I was born, of course, but since I've been around (you know, when their life really began wink1.gif), they've done a ton more...including going back to school, starting new careers, running their own business, buying property and building a house, traveling to lots of different places, etc.  Quite a lot of those things happened after I was older, maybe 10 or so.  So they would have been in their forties.  And that makes me feel more positive about my own life, like time isn't going by as fast as it seems sometimes, because DS is still very young and I'm also still younger than my parents were when they were doing all of that stuff.

 

Hopefully that made sense...but here's wishing the best for you.  hug2.gif


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#3 of 4 Old 01-16-2011, 04:36 AM
 
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I think it's normal. In my experience divorce is like grieving a death. I have been separated for over a year and officially divorced for a month. I'm dating and in love again and I mourn the loss of my marriage, husband, family, life quite often still. It's very difficult to make room for happiness when you're experiencing these emotions but I have learned that it's a choice you have to make. I am still working on that so I dont have all the answers for you but I can tell you that you're no alone. People keep telling me that one day everything will make sense and life will feel normal again. Hope that day comes soon for both of us. But I realize that you don't just get over a ten year long relationship in one year. It takes time. Good luck in your healing process.
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#4 of 4 Old 01-16-2011, 09:13 AM
 
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Yep, very normal. I was SO relieved to finally have mine over but there is a lot of sadness and grief knowing that chapter of your life is officially over. Take some time to be sad. And then forge ahead making plans for the next exciting stage of your life.

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