Ex wants to introduce new GF after 2 weeks! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#31 of 32 Old 07-24-2012, 09:30 AM
rosadesal's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 554
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I totally understand how you feel. It's almost paralyzing, not being able to maintain that control. What helped me was to realize how much of my time and energy I was giving, to my ex no less, over the issue. I gave literally all of my time and energy into battling whether or not his gf could be around our DD, and in the end I wasn't taking care of myself or the kind of life I wanted myself and DD to have. You can't control who he dates/whether they meet your kids. We tried that, and it was ugly and had nothing to do with DD at all, but had everything to do with us. Once I realized that in the end, he was winning anyway because I was spending so much time thinking about/being angry about/trying to do something about the life he was building and had nothing left for myself. Take a deep breath, and focus on YOU. Do you. Make your life. Make the life you want for you and your child. Spend your energy there. 

(sort of) single mama to one hearts.gif7/21/07. student, breastfeeding advocate, writer 

rosadesal is offline  
Sponsored Links
#32 of 32 Old 07-24-2012, 02:01 PM
captain optimism's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Good Ship Lollipop
Posts: 6,952
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 36 Post(s)

I'm new to all this, but this seems really odd to me. If you are dating someone, your children know you are dating, and they want to meet the person... shouldn't you allow that? What's the worry in this situation?


I understand why the OP didn't want her daughter to think her father was going to marry someone he'd been dating for a few months, that it would make her feel unstable. I also understood the distinction between telling the ex that introducing a partner too early could hurt the child and making a legal case out of the issue. 


I guess I'm unclear about how it protects older children who know you are dating to stop them from meeting the people you date. I'm not dating yet because I'm not divorced, only separated, so this is all hypothetical for me. Are you concerned that the children will become attached to someone you decide is not serious relationship material? 




Originally Posted by blueholly View Post

A friend told me women are so much more protective of their children. She's been divorced since her son was 7 and he's now 25 and she has never, never introduced anyone she's dated to him. My children have asked to meet my dates and I've emphatically stated no and because until I know what kind of person they are and what they might be in my life then the two shall never intermingle.

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
captain optimism is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 17,612

39 members and 17,573 guests
bananabee , Bbygirl270 , BirthFree , brucebrown , cfaokunla , CricketVS , Dovenoir , dovergirl , easydoesit , etsdtm99 , girlspn , greenemami , happy-mama , Janeen0225 , JHardy , katelove , Katherine73 , Kellyim , LadyAnnibal , LibraSun , Lydia08 , megs4413 , Michele123 , moominmamma , MountainMamaGC , NaturallyKait , profe , RollerCoasterMama , rubelin , scheelimama , Shmootzi , Skippy918 , Springshowers , sren , VsAngela , worthy , zebra15 , zoeyzoo
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.