Between a rock and a hard place.. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 01-19-2011, 02:45 PM - Thread Starter
AllysonB's Avatar
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I am sure it's all my fault that I am in my situation that I'm in and it's causing major issues. I am recently divorced (legally separated for two years, divorced final very recently).


My children and I lived on our own for a year and then moved into a bigger place with my boyfriend, which I know probably wasn't the best idea. We have lived with him for 6 mths now and, I am wondering if we should stay together. I really care about him, but find myself getting really mad and frustrated at him for lots of things. I wasn't single for very long, I did get a little lonely from time to time, but when I met my bf I didn't decide to date because I was just lonely.


I am in a bad place financially (in school and no work), living off of grants, loans, and child support. Living with my bf makes things a little easier, I'm not gonna lie, but I do not want to subconsciously stay together just for that.


We have many things in common, ways of thinking, and beliefs, but for some reason things have just started to get so negative. He is two years younger than me and only a year ago has moved out of his parents house, I have had more "real life" experience and that does get to me. He is a little more overweight than I like, and that is taking a toll on me, I am losing physical attraction I fear. He is a handsome guy, but I do not have as strong of an attraction I want to have towards him.


We have been fighting alot and I am torn as to what to do. I can't say what I would do if finances and children weren't involved, because they are and I do take those into consideration. We have this place leased together and have a cell phone contract together. He does help me from time to time with some bills.


My children are very attached to him and he is very much apart of their lives, and since the divorce I don't want them to go back to the hurt they felt when they "lost" their dad. I am asking for advice. I don't have much family support.

Mama to and
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#2 of 2 Old 01-19-2011, 05:16 PM
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I'm sorry that you are going through this.  I don't know how old your kids are, but if I were you and you know in the end that this isn't going to work--you need to move on as quickly as possible.  And then, once you do, stay single for a few years and don't let loneliness or temptation get you in a situation like this again.  The kids will suffer if you stay longer and in your heart you know you will be leaving.

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