I just said he could have the kids & everything - Mothering Forums
Single Parenting > I just said he could have the kids & everything
blueholly's Avatar blueholly 08:00 AM 01-25-2011

I just emailed my lawyer that I quit. The judge was supposed to hear motions yesterday on my request to move for job training & for the STBX to pay half the taxes on this house. She delayed it a month so I have to pull $1000 out of my butt by Monday & I haven't been able to find a job since July.


I just said he can have the kids,the house. I have to be able to work and there aren't any jobs around here and I was committed to homeschooling anyway. I feel kicked in the teeth.


I think giving up my kids is the worst thing for them. How will they feel thinking their mother abandoned them - how would I ever explain I felt I had no other option? That I am drowning financially, which is exactly what HE wants. But I feel like I can't go on, and I just want this over with - for me financially and for the kids emotionally.

AttunedMama 08:03 AM 01-25-2011

:(   Are you able to get counseling right now? Giving up the kids is not the answer, you're maybe just cracking from the stress. The kids would rather be homeless with you than 'left behind' because of 'finances'.






NolaRiordan's Avatar NolaRiordan 09:25 AM 01-25-2011

I hope your lawyer realizes that what you said was written in a moment of feeling overwhelmed and at the end of your rope. You know this is not the right thing to do. Are you going to be evicted before the rescheduled hearing? It takes a long time to evict someone. You ought to be able to stay put at east for a while. 


Getting into counseling is a good idea. Call your public library and see if there are any public services you can access for free.


Talk to a friend, go for a walk, or do whatever it takes to clear your head, take some deep breaths and then come back and think about options.

hillymum's Avatar hillymum 09:45 AM 01-25-2011

You can't pay taxes so don't. It is more important for you to weather this storm and keep your children with you. It sounds blase but there is no point in worrying about things you can do nothing about. My sbx  has stopped paying the morgage and there is no way I can pay it, so I know it's going to go into foreclosure. Sricking my head in the sand is really saving my sanity right now!

MissLotus's Avatar MissLotus 10:04 AM 01-25-2011

Yes, I agree with the PP - tell your lawyer you were frustrated, feeling defeated - but not to let that happen.  Lose the house if you must - but not the kids!!!

Bad Mama Jama's Avatar Bad Mama Jama 11:13 AM 01-25-2011

i agree.  a house you can walk away from, but don't give up.  fight for the kids.  they deserve that as do you.  i am so sorry that you are feeling deflated.  don't give up.  we believe in you.

blueholly's Avatar blueholly 08:44 PM 01-26-2011

Thank you, girls. I'm better today. Went to counseling after meeting with the guardian ad litem this morning. I just felt defeated. What I do realize  is the STBX is consumed with anger and is hell bent on trying to get the kids away from me by trying to harm me financially in every way possible. My life is so totally different than it was when we were married that he's not even on my radar except when I have t drop off/pick up kids. His problem. Everything will be ok eventually. I just want it done so the kids can have some stability.

rubelin's Avatar rubelin 11:29 PM 01-27-2011

can someone else handle drop offs so you don't have to?? might be good to have one less thing pushing at your sanity right now :-)